"I'll give you rude, Chiun," Remo snarled in Korean. "You've got a whole tribe of women and children out there with xylophone rib cages and this gaspot's in here squatting on the cooler hogging all the sandwiches and Skittles."
In the center of the room, Batubizee's eyes narrowed at Remo's rough tone. "What did he say?" he asked Chiun.
"He is merely expressing anger at himself for being inadequate to the task of offering a proper apology," the Master of Sinanju insisted. "Isn't that true, Remo?" he said through clenched teeth.
Remo rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said.
The chief let their words hang in the musty air of his hut for a pregnant moment.
"The men with whom you came here work for Minister Deferens," Batubizee finally said in a cautious tone.
"I know." Remo sighed. "I do, too. Or Deferens thinks I do. Anyway, I only came here with them to find Chiun."
"But they intended to kill me."
Remo nodded. "That was his plan. Don't worry. I wouldn't have let them follow through."
"The chief does not need you to safeguard his life as long as I am here," Chiun sniffed. He was studying Remo's face. "You contracted with someone other than Smith?"
Remo avoided Chiun's penetrating gaze. "Not really," he hedged. "It was just a cover." He was relieved when Batubizee interrupted.
"I am not surprised that Deferens would try to have me killed," the chief intoned, his moon face pulled into a thoughtful frown. "He is an evil man."
"You got that vibe, too?" Remo said, deadpan. "By the sounds of it, he's up to his dimpled chin in this Mandobar thing."
Batubizee nodded. "It is as I feared, Master of Sinanju," he said somberly. "Our attack has brought a swift response from my enemies. When Mandobar learns these men have failed, he will have Deferens send others."
At the door, Bubu suddenly chimed in. "They will need to get past the old Master and me," he insisted, his eyes burning with the fire of passion.
Remo was surprised when the guard wasn't scolded for speaking out of turn.
Batubizee simply held up a silencing hand, and the young man took an obedient step back. The flames of fierce loyalty that burned within Bubu did not ebb.
"After his presidency ended, when news of what Mandobar had in store for East Africa reached my ears, I sent men to investigate," Chief Batubizee said. "This was before I summoned you, Master of Sinanju."
Chiun nodded silent understanding.
"Now it is sad yet true that many Luzu have left their ancestral land," the chief continued. "Some found their way to Bachsburg, so when my warriors reached the city, their Luzu brothers there aided them in their quest to learn the truth of what was happening in the city built by oppressive whites that was now being corrupted by a wicked black. In their search for the source of evil, they found Deferens."
Remo hadn't been interested in Batubizee or Mandobar or what either man wanted for East Africa. He wanted only to get Chiun alone in order to discuss the strange happenings of the past two days. But Chiun clearly had no intention of moving any time soon. And, in spite of himself, he found that he was being drawn into the chief's account of what was happening in Bachsburg.
"I don't get it," he said. "Why'd they stop at Deferens? Why didn't you just send them after Mandobar?"
"By this time, Mandobar had retired from public life and was living in Kequ in the province of Pretraal," Batubizee explained. "Well guarded and far away from the minions working on his terrible plan."
"Okay," Remo said reasonably. "Then bump off Deferens."
Batubizee shook his head. "A man can live with one hand or foot. To kill Deferens would have been meaningless. Mandobar simply would have promoted another in his place."
"But not necessarily the new defense minister," Remo argued. "I can't believe everyone in the government is in on this."
"No," Batubizee said. "But we do not know who is and who is not. The Kmpali government is as corrupt as Mandobar's was. This much is admitted to by all. There is no telling who in Bachsburg is an honest man any longer."
Remo couldn't argue there. The Luzu chief had just expressed the sentiments Remo had been feeling about the entire world before coming to East Africa.
"When I realized the extent of this poison and the threat it represented to the Luzu people, I at last summoned Master Chiun," Batubizee said. "No other chief had invoked the Sinanju contract since the time of Kwaanga, and I did not wish to be the first. But in the end, I was helpless to do anything else. When I learned that Mandobar had been given an office at the palace, I saw it as my opportunity. Perhaps the last for my people." He shook his head sadly.
To Remo, the chief's sorrow for his subjects seemed genuine, yet he could not banish the image of the starving tribesmen he had seen outside, nor of the bloated man who sat before him now. "Well, Mandobar's out of the country for now," Remo said. "So if you want to make a dent in his plan by capping his loyal defense minister foot soldier, I won't stop you."
The chief gave a mocking laugh. "Deferens is loyal only to himself," he said. "My warriors tracked him for days. That fiend has secrets, even from his master. He and a criminal called Spumoni are even now plotting an evil unknown to Mandobar. They meet in areas of Bachsburg Deferens would ordinarily not travel to. He has been seen climbing in and out of sewers several times."
"Sewers?" Remo said, surprised. He pictured the fastidious L. Vas Deferens. "We're talking about the same guy here, right? Dresses like Mr. Roarke? Looks like he's had his hair Scotchgarded?"
"A sewer sounds an appropriate lair for one such as he," the Master of Sinanju offered.
"I'm serious, Chiun," Remo said. "The guy I met would have his neighbor's dog shot at sunrise far making on his lawn. What was he doing climbing in a sewer?"
"My men attempted to find out," Batubizee said seriously. "Two groups of Luzu warriors followed Deferens and the rest down into the Bachsburg sewer system. Only one group returned alive. The bodies of the rest were pulled from the waste at a sewage-treatment plant the next day."
Remo frowned as he considered this information.
"What do you suppose he's doing down there?" he mused aloud.
Unscissoring his folded legs, Chiun rose to his feet like a puff of fussy steam. "A mystery we must leave to another time," the old man announced. He turned to the Luzu chief. "Though this attempt on your life has failed, I fear it will not be the last," he said seriously. "While your highness prepares your warriors, I will confer with my son. Perhaps he has learned something from your enemies that could be of value to us."
Batubizee nodded grimly. With Bubu's aid, he struggled up from his mound of pillows. Gathering his robes up from around his ankles, he ducked out the hut door, guard in tow.
"It's about time," Remo said, standing to face his teacher. "It looked like you were gonna sit there all night."
"It would have served you right," Chiun replied thinly. He shook his head. "There is no reason, Remo, to behave as rudely as you did to the chief. Master's disease or not, a client should always be treated with respect."
"Some client," Remo scoffed. "This whole tribe looks like it doesn't have a pot to piss in. He probably paid you with a sockful of his own subjects' gold teeth. Which, by the way, it looks like they don't need anyway."
At the mention of payment, Remo completely missed the downward-darting eyes of the Master of Sinanju.
"And I didn't come all the way out here to kiss up to Batubizee." Remo's tone grew worried. "Something weird's going on, Little Father. Weirder than I can get a handle on. I need you with me right now, not traipsing around the outback with King Hungry-Hungry Hippo."
The pleading in his pupil's eyes gave Chiun cause for concern. Pursing his lips, he shook his eggshell head.
"I cannot leave, my son," he said softly. "Until Batubizee says otherwise, my place right now is at his side. There are obligations we of Sinanju have to these people." He took a deep breath, exhaling thoughtfully. "I have not yet told you the full story of Master Nuk, he who discovered the Luzu." And the way he stood made it seem as if the burden of his responsibilities was almost too great for his frail form to bear.
Remo's shoulders sank. When he spoke, it was with no animosity. Merely somber acceptance. "All right. Stay here," he said quietly. "But if I have to sit through the entire story of Master Nuk and how Sinanju became tangled up with the Luzus, I vote you tell me the tale of the Master Who Never Was first."
He watched for Chiun's reaction, assuming he'd elicit some surprise for even knowing anything at all about the young ghost boy who had been dogging him the past few days. But it was Remo who was surprised.
Chiun's papery skin failed to flinch. Only one quizzical eyebrow rose slightly.