What happens when you win
There s no winning this battle. But also no losing it, because for the Enemy, for the shadow that stalks this darkness, there s no winning the fight, either.
For the first time, the knight moved, lifting his head up into the light. There was no telling how she knew it, but Nita knew that inside the helmet, the knight was smiling. All the darkness sang with the force of his resolve, and with his amusement a grim but good-natured cheerfulness that seemed very strange when taken together with what he d just said.
That good cheer in the face of what sounded like a hopeless situation struck a chord somewhere in Nita, even in her sleep.The sense got stronger and stronger in the dark air around her of a great strength being hoarded in this place for the oncoming battle, of an unusual bravery.Valor : That was the word that described what she felt seeping into this space from the glittering form at its center. It made her feel like she had to dosomething to be of use. Are yousure there s nothing I can do to help you Nita said.
The silence that followed stretched out much longer than the other two had.
Tell what fights the Enemy thatIt will be held here, the knight said. ThatIt will have to fight here, again and again. But thatIt won t pass. And again Nita could feel the fierce, amused smile inside the armor.
I can t stay, Nita said. That was one of the only drawbacks to lucid dreaming: Even when reinforced by wizardry, a dream s duration was very limited. But I know where this place is now. I can come back if you need help, or I can bring someone else with me who can help you better
No help will avail here, the knight said, kindly enough, but sternly, too. This fight must happen only as it has happened, or it will be lost. And if it s lost, everything else will be
Without warning, darkness fell. Nita, uncertain where she was or what had happened, tried to see, but in that complete blackness, there was no way to see anything at all. Briefly, she heard the sound of laughter, challenging and cheerful, and the ringing scrape of a sword being drawn
And then Nita was sitting up in her bed, open-eyed and startled in the less unnerving darkness of her own bedroom. She wasn t frightened, even though she d caught a taste, in the dream s last moments, of what had been coming toward the knight out of the newly fallen blackness. She knew that Enemy too well to be shocked byIts appearance anymore. But the thought of leaving that glad, tough presence to fight all by itself irked her. And though she d at least been able to make out what it was saying this time, that wasn t the same asunderstanding it.
She glanced over at the hands of her bedside clock glowing in the darkness. They said two-thirty. Nita sighed and lay down again, feeling more determined than ever to figure out what was going on. In fact, she felt more determined than she had about anything for weeks.
Tell what fights the Enemy thatIt will be held here
Eventually Nita fell asleep again, and down the corridors of dream, she heard the sword come scraping out of its sheath again, and again, and again
Quandaries
When her alarm went off at about a quarter after six, Nita dragged herself out of bed, showered, and got ready for school with that fierce, small sword-sound still repeating itself in her memory. When she woke her dad up, it was still very much on her mind. She found him a little later in the kitchen, having the coffee she d made for him when she d finished dressing, and saw him looking thoughtfully at her manual, which Nita had carried into the kitchen with her earlier and had left open and facedown on the counter.
I thought you seemed a little distracted this morning, he said, pouring milk into his coffee. You look like you re working hard on something.Harder than usual.
He means, harder than usuallately, Nita thought. Yeah, she said. First-contact problem.
As in first contact with an alien species
I thinkso , Nita said. We ve been having some trouble communicating.
Her dad shook his head. I should get you to talk to my cut-flower distributor, he said. If you can get through to something from another planet, maybe you could even get through to him.
Nita had heard enough stories about her dad s troubles with this particular supplier in the past couple of years to make her uncertain. I might need more power than I ve got at the moment, she said.
I wouldn t be too sure about that, her dad said. What exactly did you do to your sister yesterday
Nita raised her eyebrows. I got her to see sense, she said.
Nita s dad gave her a loving but skeptical look. Using what kind of nuclear weapon he said. Just so I know when the government calls.
Humor, she thought.When was the last time I heard Daddy make a joke Since well.Sincethen.
I moved her bedroom furniture around, Nita said. Did a couple of other things nothing life-threatening. She looked at her dad over the rim of her mug of tea as she took a drink. Not that I didn t think about it.
Her dad sighed. You wouldn t have been the first one, he said, rinsing out his coffee cup. He got his coat off the hook by the door and shrugged into it. Keep an eye on her, though, will you
Sure, Daddy.
Her dad came over and gave her a hug that lingered for a moment. He put his chin down on the top of her head, something else he hadn t done for a while, and said, You ve been the one holding everything together.
And that s not fair to you. I feel like I haven t been doing everything I could
Nita shook her head. I m not sure I see it that way, Daddy, she said, and that was all she could get out.
He squeezed her, let her go. The shop s open late tonight, he said. I won t be home till nine. You have anything planned
Nita shook her head. I need to do some research, she said. If I have to go out, it won t be for long, and nowhere far.
Okay. Bye
She leaned against the counter again, leafing through her manual, while the sound of her dad s car faded off down the road. She thought she knew how he felt: as if he was the weak link in the family. But she often felt that way herself, and she knewDairine did, too and they couldn tall be right. This was something that had come up in one of her earliest talks with Mr.Millman , a simple piece of logic that had completely eluded Nita until then probably her first sign thatMillman was not just some good idea wished on her by the school, but was someone genuinely worth listening to. Nita knew now that all you could do was try to let the sense of inadequacy pass over you, or the other person, and dissipate. Arguing too hard about it was likely to make the other person think you were trying to hide the truth from them.
She sighed and turned another page. The size of her manual s linguistics section had nearly tripled since she got up with the day s research in mind, and she was left now with the realization that her own knowledge of the Speech was even more basic than she d thought it was.I can t believe how dumb I ve been about this , she thought. The quick vocabulary test she d taken before her dad came down for his coffee had suggested that Nita was readily familiar with about 650 terms in the Speech out of a possible 750,000. And more words were being rediscovered or coined every day by wizards of every species. There were even regional dialects and variants, alternaterecensions used by species whose physiologies or brain structure, or sometimes even the structure of their home universe, meant that the most basic forms of the Speech had to be altered to make sense.I ve been treating this like it was a dead language , Nita thought.But it s alive.It s the language of Life Itself: How could it notbe
And then, no matter how many of the words you might know, there was always the question of context the way a species used the Speech. Some species understood it clearly, but meant very different things by their usage of it than other species did. Some members of other species, too, whether wizards or not, might have only a beginner s acquaintance with the Speech, a most basic understanding of how to use it.Like it looks like I have , Nita thought, turning the manual s pages ruefully.
So the question is: Was I the one being incompetent the other day, or was the robot Or the clown Because of the way she felt lately, Nita thought the incompetence was a lot more likely to have been on her side.And how come I got so little from the knight Nita rememberedDairine s line about the robot, about howthe species contacting Nita seemed to have no plurals, possibly even no personal pronouns. What she d heard last night seemed to confirm the idea.He never said we , she thought.But then, he never said I, either. There was something so I don t know ...solimitedabout the way he was expressing himself. Was that just because I was having trouble dealing with the way he used the Speech Or was he hiding something
And why
She leaned there on her folded arms for a while, looking rather glumly at the manual, and didn t even bother looking up whenDairinecame padding in wearing one of their dad s T-shirts, hunting her breakfast. Morning.
Yeah, Nita said, turning over another page covered with necessary vocabulary that she didn t know.
Dairinestuck her head in the refrigerator. My bedcreaks now, she said.
It s always creaked, Nita said asDairine came out with the milk. That s because you jump on it.
I think it s because it just spent the better part of a day down a crevasse full of liquid nitrogen, Dairine said, getting a bowl for her cereal.
If it spent any time in liquid nitrogen, it wouldn t just creak, Nita said. It d shatter.
Yeah, well, I m thinking your wizardry wasn t temperature-tight, Dairine said, pouring first cereal and then milk. I think you dropped a variable.
No, I didn t.
I bet you did.
Didn t.