“I shouldn’t have left her!”
I looked at my mother but it wasn’t her face I was seeing. It was Claire’s with her vacant stare.
My mother sat down on the edge of my bed slowly, as if not to upset me further. “How did you get home then?”
“Claire wouldn’t leave so I sort of found my own way home with someone from school.”
I don’t think she noticed the quiver in my voice and she didn’t press for more. For now, all was safe as far as Garreth was concerned.
Except for Claire.
All was not safe for her.
A tear escaped down my cheek as tiny pieces of my dream began trickling in, the numbness wearing off.
My mother wanted to console me but I insisted I wanted to be alone.
It was all starting to become a little more clear.
Hadrian. My father. Claire.
The connections were there, piecing themselves together, and finally tears rolled down my cheeks as I mentally tallied who would be next.
I can’t let this happen.
I wrapped my arms around my body and for the first time in years, I prayed for someone other than my family.
I prayed for Garreth.
Feeling a presence, I turned to find my angel standing silently in the corner near my dresser. He had a strange look on his face, as if he was seeing me for the first time.
“What is it?” I asked quietly.
“No one’s ever prayed for me before.”
I held my arms out to him and he crossed the floor to sit with me.
“I’ve always heard your prayers. You prayed for me to come to you when you had a bad dream. I even heard you pray for a perfect, selfless, superwonderful boy to fall in love with. But I’ve never heard you pray for me.”
I couldn’t erase the thoughts stirring in my head.
“Maybe it’s about time someone did.”
“Why?” he asked.
“You said Guardians become vulnerable when they are protecting their human. I’m making matters worse.”
“Don’t even go there, Teagan. Nothing is going to happen to us. Everything will be all right.”
He was reassuring, in a defiant sort of way, as if worries like this surfaced all the time. Nonetheless, I was responsible for placing him in the direct line of danger from Hadrian, and living with this sinking feeling was not at all pleasant.
Without a word, he gently wiped away my tears, soothing me into a calm sleep.
When I awoke, he was gone and I was full of the strangest sensation I could ever imagine. My mind flickered back to Claire. My dream. My mother waking me in the night to tell me the horrible truth that I somehow already knew. Claire was dead. Not missing from my life because she was still angry at me. Not missing because she was still in the woods where I left her.
She was gone.
Dead.
Somehow I accepted it but I couldn’t comprehend it.
I reached for my phone. The inbox was empty, as I should have known. Its silence screamed the ugly truth.
I wanted to check my e-mail but Claire never e-mailed me. I wanted to look out my window and see her waiting in her car at the curb.
I couldn’t stop myself from imagining the normal.
Claire, checking her face in the mirror and singing along to her music in an awkward voice.
Claire, reporting the latest gossip on someone, anyone, anyone worth gossiping about except…she wasn’t.
She wasn’t.
I felt myself sink to the floor but didn’t feel myself hit it. I felt wetness on my face. If I hadn’t left with Garreth, would I be dead too? Was that what this was all about?
Either way I looked at it, it didn’t make any sense. So I stopped looking at it. It hurt too much.
I pulled my hair into a ponytail and looked at myself in the mirror with a blank expression. The smell of bacon wafted up the steps as I walked down. I found my mother at the stove, preparing a meal she knew I would never eat, but like the good mother she was, that didn’t stop her from going through the motions. I sat down in silence at the table and flicked at the curled edges of the morning’s newspaper with my finger.
She shot me a look of motherly concern and turned back to the bacon. “I’m glad you slept. That’s the best thing for you right now.” She placed a plate of warm, crispy fat in front of me. I just stared at it.
“If Garreth hadn’t shown up to bring me home I would…I might be…” She looked at me with a tender expression and I saw her eyes begin to fill up with tears. I couldn’t finish. I didn’t have to.
“Garreth. That’s an unusual name. I’d like to thank him for bringing you home safely. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you have a guardian angel.” She turned back to the spattering fat in the pan and I felt myself blush.
If she only knew.
I guess I always assumed she would be protective but it surprised me how easy this was. A smile appeared without even trying as I thought of her meeting Garreth and approving, but that smile soon faded.
“I heard that Claire’s boyfriend is an emotional wreck,” she said cautiously. “He told the police he tried to stop her. I just don’t understand how a couple of kids could sneak up to the roof unseen.”
“Roof?”
Mom sat down across from me and nudged my untouched plate, urging me to eat.
“That building is very dilapidated and should have been shut down years ago, but it never stopped kids from flocking to it.” She reached out and took my hand.