“Well, I’m no different from them. I don’t know what to think either.”
We walked slowly, in silence, past the orange lockers to the bench under a large glass window at the far end of the hall. I had a free period coming up next and I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to spend it. I kept myself focused on the window instead of the people we were passing, until I was filled with sudden rage. It came on so quickly that it nearly stopped my breath.
Then I realized why.
“Are you okay?”
Garreth’s perfectly sculptured face twisted awkwardly with concern. His serene blue eyes followed my line of vision and then he understood.
He touched my arm gently, as though holding me back.
“That might not be such a good idea, Teagan.”
“Oh, it’s a very good idea.”
As if they had a mind of their own, my feet pulled the rest of my body in the direction of an open locker and firmly planted themselves in front of a very irritated Ryan. Apparently, my fear of him from the other night was completely gone.
“Teagan.”
He regarded me icily, as Kid Rock seeped from his earbuds. I noticed the circles under his eyes as he tried to shrug me off. A voice I didn’t recognize snarled out of my throat, causing me to jump when I realized it was my own. “How could you?”
Ryan stared at me blankly then turned back to face the inside of his locker. Smugness I could handle, but ignoring me was the wrong move.
“I had nothing to do with it,” he said cold-heartedly.
Deception rolled off of him in waves, pretending to be worn down with grief.
“Liar.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means. I saw how you changed, how you acted. Just tell me what Brynn has to do with this and I’ll piece together the rest.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Teagan. I’m just as hurt as you are. I loved Claire.”
“You are so full of it,” I spat. A small semicircle of kids had started to gather behind us but that didn’t stop me from lashing out at him. “Why weren’t you at her memorial service last night?”
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t handle funerals very well.”
“Her funeral is tomorrow,” I shot back.
I knew what I was about to do was an act of desperation. I grabbed Ryan’s hand, prying his cool fingers open, looking for some sort of proof that he was being manipulated by Hadrian. Of course, there was no octagram, no mark of a dark angel. Ryan was like me. Human. Although how he appeared to me at the rave made that questionable.
“What the hell, Teagan?” Ryan yanked his arm, pulling his hand away from my grasp. “You are a freak.”
He stared at me, his eyes darkening at what I had just done, with what I was accusing him of, then his face was covered in shadow as Garreth stood behind me.
In that very practiced, very controlled voice, the same I had heard that fateful night in the woods, he began his take on what had happened that night at the rave.
“Brynn was trying to dance with me at the rave, and Claire got a little pissed off. It was crazy. You know, we were having a good time. The music was loud. The place was wild. By the time I turned around Claire was outta there.”
“Where did she go?” I heard the chatter of the kids behind me, wondering what we were talking about.
“She was headed up the back steps to the roof. Some other kids were following her, thinking it was a cool idea — especially since it was off limits. By the time I reached her, she was standing right on the edge. Right on the edge. Freaked me out. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy shit, but Claire balancing on the edge of a four-story building? I never expected that to make my list.”
Ryan got a dark look in his eyes as he stared out across the hallway, lost in the memory of that night.
Then he looked me straight in the eye.
“There’s a lot I don’t remember about that night. But I won’t forget what I saw. No one would forget that.”
For a second, I began to doubt the boy I had seen in the woods.
“What did you see, Ryan?” I prompted him.
“Claire was just standing there. Her arms were outstretched at her sides. Her back was facing us. She was so still. I remember taking a step closer to her. I wanted to grab her arm and pull her away from the edge but this kid stopped me. And then, it was like she was levitating — right there in front of everyone. Like someone had lifted her up, holding her out for the world to see. It was…it was like she was flying. And then she went over the side.”
I couldn’t speak. I stared silently at Ryan, hearing his words echo in my head, even though he wasn’t saying them anymore. In my mind I could picture her. I could see Claire as if I was witnessing the entire thing…no, as if I were Claire. The Claire from my dream.
Then I felt the warmth of Garreth’s hand on my arm.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
I snapped out of it and instantly felt a confrontation brewing. Reality was crushing the dream I wanted to see again in my head.
“Hey, back off!” Ryan slammed his locker shut and the hall fell silent again. “Anyway, what does it matter? No one will ever know why she jumped.”
I felt my skin freeze inch by inch with tiny stabs of ice that worked their way down my neck and arms. I jumped as Ryan’s arm shoved sharply into Garreth’s shoulder as he pushed his way past us. Without another word he disappeared down the hall to his next class. My feet had rooted themselves to the floor in front of his locker and I felt as though I was sinking right through the tiles into the bowels of the school.
“Teagan?”
The voice of my angel brought me back. Someone was whispering.
“Come on, I’m taking you home.”
I felt myself moving, being led forward by a magical pull I had no control over. Garreth led me down the hall, through the strange, silent cloud that still hovered overhead, past the confused faces of those who had witnessed the showdown between Ryan and me. Past everything. And, if I had eyes in the back of my head I would have seen Brynn Hanson cast a hateful stare in my direction.
We were just outside the main office when I felt my knees go weak and Garreth had to catch me. He opened the door but I pushed it back, closing it against the smell of ink and paper. I could tell he was worried.
“Garreth, my mom spoke to Claire’s mom. Claire slipped and fell. No one said anything about her jumping. Claire wouldn’t do that.” My voice was urgent and fearful.
“You shouldn’t be here today. I’m going to ask if you can be excused.”
“No. If he’s here, then I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
”