Something was seriously wrong here. My heart began pounding, I was sure he could hear it. It echoed in my chest and my ears. I looked out the window but it had become so dark suddenly that all I could see was my own worried reflection. I looked down at my lap where my hands rested quietly, aching terribly for Garreth’s.
Perhaps if I…
I slid my left hand over and placed it on top of his, forcing him to abandon the wheel. His dark eyes gleamed with surprise and he took my hand firmly, sending a dark tremor through me.
His hand was like ice.
“Your hand’s freezing.” It was the first thing out of my mouth. My heart’s heavy thumping was nearly uncontrollable now.
I reached out to crank up the heat, seeking normalcy in the situation but got confusion instead as I stared at all the buttons and dials. As foreign as this car and its controls were to me, the complexity of the dashboard wasn’t. Now that I was staring more intently at it, it reminded me of the stereo in Claire’s… I mean, my car.
My emotions were a gnarled mess. I was afraid of where I was, that I was with Hadrian, of what had become of Garreth, what was to become of me… Yet, through it all, an unfamiliar part of me wanted to stay. I had to stay.
There was no hiding the hesitancy in my voice. “Wow, what a system. So this is why these cars are so expensive.” Perhaps if I tried to act in a normal way, I could get myself out of this.
“Actually, it came with a different one, but I switched it out,” he answered.
“You switched it? Why?”
“Does that matter? It wasn’t what I wanted.”
I looked at him long and hard for a moment.
“What? Don’t you like the stereo?” Hadrian asked, playing along with my little game.
“It’s um…” What was the word I was looking for? “It’s a bit…ostentatious.”
“That’s how I like things. Ostentatious.” His smooth, cold hand gestured to the electronic monstrosity.
The car slowed to a stop and I saw we were parked on a barren stretch of road alongside thick woods.
Hadrian turned to me and light from the dashboard splashed across his face so that only the deep intensity of his eyes was visible to me.
“Haven’t you ever wanted something else? Something that perhaps isn’t quite up to your standards, something you can bend and shape into what you want?” He leaned closer now. Close enough that I could smell him.
He smelled of something dangerous, something strong that mixed with earth and pine, as if the line of trees next to us were growing right alongside us in the car.
“We’re not talking about the stereo anymore, are we?” I whispered, shivering beneath his stare.
I felt my insides turn to jelly; my limbs had forged with the black leather seat beneath me and refused to move. The car, the road, the trees no longer existed, only his unfathomable eyes fixed on mine. I felt him breathing me in, and without any regard I leaned in closer to him, unable to stop myself.
“You’re what I want, Teagan.” I felt the strength of his whisper beneath my skin. “You tip the scales when I’m with you. All I thought I wanted means nothing now that I know you exist.” His breath was on my neck, his lips devouring my skin.
I heard something tapping against the roof of the car. It was raining. A streak of white flashed across my eyelids, which were uncontrollably fluttering. Lightning.
A second streak invaded the dark, making me open my eyes as he grabbed my wrist. The light flashed across his eyes, blacker than the night and shining with conviction. He was just as mesmerizing as the moment I first laid eyes on him, but I was quickly recovering.
“No!” I pulled away but he held tight. With fear, I realized part of me wanted to stay and my wanting him repulsed me. “You’re dead!”
“I’m very real, thanks to you.”
“But I killed you.”
“Transformed would be more appropriate. You cannot kill a Guardian, merely alter one.”
I shook my head. This couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.
Reality was hitting hard. I needed to get out of there, but Hadrian’s firm hand anchored me.
“Before you judge me, please listen to me.”
I trembled, inches away from my greatest enemy, as the darkness from beyond the window softly crept into my head. I was dizzy, woozy, and I had no choice but to stay.
I woke up as if from a vivid nightmare. I was lying on the floor, watching streaks of light play and mingle with the colored triangles of stained glass. I rolled over.
Hadrian was lighting a red candle, his back turned to me. I could hear rain falling steadily outside the chapel but it did not fall through the open roof above me. I looked up into the dark, waiting to be splashed in the face. I remembered the tower that once stood there, stretching high into the sky, the tower Hadrian and I had floated up into…floating…spiraling… I closed my eyes for a second, seeing two faces: Hadrian’s and Garreth’s. The spinning sensation came back to me, dizzying me. I sighed in agreement. My life was spiraling out of control.
“You’re supposed to dead.” My chest rattled with the breath I drew in too quickly.
Hadrian turned immediately at the sound of my voice and walked over to me, slowly, stopping just before I would feel he was too close.
“Haven’t you learned that death is a beginning?
Besides, I already told you, you can’t kill what isn’t human.” He crouched down and gently took my hand, opening it to reveal my palm. “You have this power, and still you are unclear as to what it means.”
He was so different now, not as menacing as in the car.
But, of course, my own fear played a large role in how he appeared to me. He spoke with tenderness and his eyes were full of warmth, though something lingered there…misunderstanding and hurt and I felt too tired to fight or even fear him. My hand was open in front of me, my mark displayed. The etching had become deeper and more pronounced. Daily, it was becoming a permanent part of me.
“I have known you your entire life, Teagan.” He gently traced the outline of my mark with his finger. “Close your eyes and you can make it disappear.”
“I can’t do that! You just want me to get rid of it so I’m powerless against…”
“Just try it. You control your mark.”
He was smiling at me and I had no choice but to try it. I squeezed my hand shut and then opened it. It was gone! I opened and closed my hand over and over but it was truly gone.
I looked up at Hadrian, anger surfacing. “I want it back.”
“Then wish it so.”
I expected him to fight me on this, saying it was too late and gone for good. It confused me that perhaps he was simply giving me a lesson. With all my heart I wished for it, and as soon as I opened my hand, it was there again. Relief swept through me. I wanted to cry.
My heart was pounding. “I don’t understand.”
“You have the power to make things happen.” He took my chin in his hand and tilted it up toward the light of the candles. “My feet have worn a path I no longer wish to follow, but that path cannot be erased and I will forever pay for my actions. You sliced the octagram in half, dividing me. For the longest time, I couldn’t see who I was because something else was always covering it, and I, too, feared what I couldn’t see. You broke that in me. Don’t you see, Teagan? That is your power. You are the key to truth. The truth of what is in each and every one of us.”