"Attention Virginia-class submarine. This is a U.S. naval vessel under the command of Admiral Harvey Coombs. Please acknowledge."
There was a long pause. Then a sharp, hostile voice: "What is your vessel's call sign?"
"We have no call sign. This is a decommissioned ship salvaged for an emergency mission, code name SPAM. We have no official existence, our orders are classified, and we are operating under conditions of strict radio silence. This communication is a breach of operational security, so let's keep it short: If you represent the interests of the United States of America, then we are here to offer whatever assistance and support you may require."
There was no answer for long minutes, just a quiet wash of static.
Then the voice said, "You guys got any food over there?"
"We've got whatever you need," said Coombs. "Come and get it."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus."