Seth bought a five-dollar phone card at Mr. Cho’s. By four thirty, the sun was sliding past the horizon and a cold drizzle replaced the snow, washing away the pristine blanket of white. Seth had only a dollar credit left on the card. He was still struggling to find a place to stay. A few friends offered to put up the cat who slept peacefully on the stoop. Lelani stood at a respectable distance from the deli payphone. Seth knew she wasn’t there for moral support.
“Hi Earl. I need a favor… can I crash with you tonight? No, Kevin’s still away on his honeymoon. Why not? She’s still pissed at me? Look, I’m in dire straits, man. My place burned down. I’ll sleep on the floor. C’mon, she’s not even your wife. You’re gonna pick a chick over your bud? Yeah, thanks a lot, man. Happy fucking holidays to you, too.” Seth slammed the pay phone. “Asshole.”
“He’s being unreasonable?” Lelani asked, breaking her silence.
Seth’s first instinct was to tell her to buzz off, but he realized her offer of shelter was the only option on the table at the moment. It was looking better with each call.
“No.”
“Then why would he not…?”
“I sold photos of his girlfriend to the amateur section of a few nude magazines-without permission. She got drunk at a party and stripped. Got off on my taking photos of her.”
“Hmmm?” Lelani murmured.
“I gave her half the money. She’s hot. It was a good way for me to get noticed at these publications. She needed the cash because she was about to get evicted from her apartment.”
“Clearly, she has no sense of gratitude. So you photograph nude women for cheap periodicals?”
Seth regretted bringing it up. He heard condescension creeping back into Lelani’s voice.
“I don’t photograph anything anymore. I’m out of business. My cameras, my archives, a thousand dollars’ worth of film, all gone. Even the graces of my employer… gone. I missed an important deadline today.”
Seth picked up the phone and dialed another number.
“No one will help you,” Lelani said.
“I’m getting that, yeah. Did you cast a spell on me?”
“You do not inspire loyalty within your circles.”
Once again Seth made his appeal on the phone, this time to an ex-girlfriend who always needed money. He offered to pay her rent and then heard the click of the disconnect.
“Why is this happening to me?” he wailed.
“You have disappointed these people once too often. They feel no allegiance to you.”
Again, Seth suppressed the urge to punch her out. He considered a homeless shelter, but knew he’d never make it out by morning with the few dollars he had left.
“These friends of yours, did they know your roommate as well?” she asked.
“Yeah, so?”
“You did not mention his death. Not even once.”
Seth realized she had a point. Concentrating on his own problems, he had neglected to mention Joe’s death to anyone. What was worse, he couldn’t undo it. His friends would be furious at him once they learned about it. The chasms he had just discovered expanded faster than his ability to bridge them. He had helped foster this shortage of goodwill toward him through the years. Joe probably put in a lot of effort on his behalf into soothing the rifts among their friends. Now his advocate was dead and he had yet to shed a tear. Add in a crazy woman’s accusation that he was partly responsible for Joe’s death-a case of mistaken identity-and his shame only deepened. He sat on the stoop in front of the deli stroking Hoshi’s neck. No progress had been made since his eighteenth birthday, he was still alone, and he couldn’t blame the fire this time.
“Come with me and you’ll have a place to sleep tonight,” Lelani offered. “Do it for the cat.”
“At this point,” Seth said, “I don’t have anything more to lose, right?”
Lelani remained quiet for a moment. Then she offered her hand and helped him off the stoop. “We’ll drop the cat off at my room, first,” she said.
“Uh-I don’t have anything more to lose, right…? ” Seth repeated.
“Certainly,” she answered-but would not look him in the eye.