Lorraine: My name's Lorraine, Lorraine Baines.
Marty: Yeah, but you're uh, you're so, you're so thin.
Lorraine: Just relax now Calvin, you've got a big bruise on you're head.
Marty lifts up the sheet - his jeans are gone!
Marty: Ah, where're my pants?
Lorraine: Over there, on my hope chest. I've never seen purple underwear before, Calvin.
Marty: Calvin, why do you keep calling me Calvin?
Lorraine: Well that's your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear.
She tries to pull the sheet up to show him, but he stops her.
Lorraine: Oh, I guess they call you Cal, huh?
Marty: Actually, people call me Marty.
Lorraine: Oh, pleased to meet you, Calvin Marty Klein. Do you mind if I sit here?
Marty: (uneasy) No, fine, no, good, fine, good.
Lorraine: That's a big bruise you have there.
Marty: Ah.
Stella: (o.s) Lorraine, are you up there?
Lorraine: My God, it's my mother. Put your pants back on.
She throws Marty's pants to him. He tries to put them on, but trips. Cut to the dining room. Marty, now fully dressed, walks with Lorraine down the stairs. STELLA BAINES is setting the table.
Stella: So tell me, Marty, how long have you been in port?
Marty: Excuse me?
Stella: Yeah, I guessed you're a sailor, aren't you, that's why you wear that life preserver.
Marty: Uh, coast guard.
Sam enters.
Stella: Sam, here's the young man you hit with your car out there. He's all right, thank God.
Sam: What were you doing in the middle of the street, a kid your age?
Stella: (To Marty) Don't pay any attention to him, he's in one of his moods. (To Sam) Sam, quit fiddling with that thing, come in here to dinner.
Everyone is at the table.
Stella: (To Marty) Now let's see, you already know Lorraine, this is Milton, this is Sally, that's Toby, and over there in the playpen is little baby Joey.
Marty looks at Joey.
Marty: (Quietly, to Joey) So you're my Uncle Joey. Better get used to these bars, kid.
Stella: (babytalk) Yes, Joey just loves being in his playpen. (normally) He cries whenever we take him out so we just leave him in there all the time. Well Marty, I hope you like meatloaf.
Marty: Well, uh, listen, uh, I really-
Lorraine pulls up a chair next to her place at the table.
Lorraine: Sit here, Marty.
Sam is fiddling with a TV set. Stella calls to him.
Stella: Sam, quit fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat your dinner.
Sam pulls the TV to the table, where everyone can see it.
Sam: Ho ho ho, look at it roll. Now we could watch Jackie Gleason while we eat.
Lorraine: (to Marty) Our first television set, Dad just picked it up today. Do you have a television?
Marty: Well yeah, you know we have two of them.
Milton: (impressed) Wow, you must be rich.
Stella: Oh honey, he's teasing you, nobody has two television sets.
Marty: Hey, hey, I've seen this one, I've seen this one. This is a classic, this is where Ralph dresses up as the man from space.
The others look on at him, confused.
Milton: What do you mean you've seen this, it's brand new!
Marty: Yeah well, I saw it on a rerun.
The family are even more confused!
Milton: What's a rerun?
Marty: You'll find out.