I held her tighter, wishing there was a way I could give her my strength or absorb her pain.
"It's a choice only you can make." I pulled Lena to her feet. "Look at what's happening. People you love are fighting for their lives right now. You can stop it. Only you."
"I don't know if I can."
"Why not?" I was shouting.
"Because I don't know what I am."
I looked into her eyes, and they had changed again. One was perfectly green, and one was perfectly gold.
"Look at me, Ethan. Am I Dark, or am I Light?"
I looked at her, and I knew what she was. The girl I loved. The girl I would always love.
Instinctively, I grabbed the gold book in my pocket. It was warm, as if some part of my mother was alive within it. I pressed the book into Lena's hand, feeling the warmth spread into her body. I willed her to feel it -- the kind of love within the book, the kind of love that never died.
"I know what you are, Lena. I know your heart. You can trust me. You can trust yourself."
Lena held the tiny book in her hand. It wasn't enough. "What if you're wrong, Ethan? How can you know?"
"I know because I know you."
I let go of her hand. I couldn't bear to think of anything happening to her, but I couldn't stop it from coming. "Lena, you have to do it. There's no other way. I wish there was, but there isn't."
We looked out over the cavern. Ridley looked up, and for a second I thought she saw us.
Lena looked at me. "I can't let Ridley die. I swear she's trying to change. I've already lost too much."
I already lost Uncle Macon.
"It was my fault." She clung to me, sobbing.
I wanted to tell her he was alive, but I remembered what Macon said. He was still Transitioning. There was a possibility he still had Darkness within him. If Lena knew he was alive and there was a chance she could lose him again, she would never choose to go Light. She wasn't capable of killing him a second time.
The moon was directly over Lena's head. Soon the Claiming would begin. There was only one decision left to make, and I was afraid she wasn't going to make it.
Ridley appeared at the top of the steps, breathless. She hugged Lena, taking her from me. She rubbed her face against Lena's wet cheek. They were sisters, for better or worse. They always had been. "Lena, listen to me. You have to choose." Lena looked away, pained. Ridley grabbed the side of her cousin's face, forcing Lena to look at her. Lena noticed right away. "What happened to your eyes?"
"It doesn't matter. You need to listen to me. Have I ever done anything noble? Have I ever let you sit in the front seat of the car a single time? Have I ever once saved you the last piece of cake, in sixteen years? Ever let you try on my shoes?"
"I always hated your shoes." A tear rolled down Lena's cheek.
"You loved my shoes." Ridley smiled and wiped Lena's face with her scraped and bloody hand.
"I don't care what you say. I'm not doing it." Their eyes were fixed on each other.
"I don't have a selfless bone in my body, Lena, and I'm telling you to do it."
"No."
"Trust me. It's better this way. If I still have some Darkness inside me somewhere, you'll be doing me a favor. I don't want to be Dark anymore, but I'm not cut out to be a Mortal. I'm a Siren."
I could see the recognition in Lena's eyes. "But if you're a Mortal, you won't --"
Ridley shook her head. "There's no way to know. Once there's Darkness in your blood, you know ..." Her voice broke off.
I remembered what Macon said. Darkness does not leave us as easily as we would hope.
Ridley hugged Lena tight. "Come on, what am I going to do with seventy or eighty more years? Can you really see me hanging around Gat-dung, making out with Link in the back of the Beater? Trying to figure out how the stove works?" She looked away, her voice faltering. "Can't even get decent Chinese in that crappy town."
Lena held tight to Ridley's hand, and Ridley squeezed it, then gently pulled her hand away, one finger at a time, and placed Lena's hand in mine.
"Take care of her for me, Short Straw." Ridley disappeared back down the steps before I could say a word.
I'm scared, Ethan.
I'm right here, L. I'm not going anywhere. You can make it through this.
Ethan --
You can, L. Claim yourself. No one has to show you the way. You know your own way.
Then another voice joined mine, from a great distance and also from within me.
My mother.
Together we told Lena, in the one stolen moment we had, not what to do but that she could do it.
Claim yourself , I said.
Claim yourself , my mother said.
I am myself , Lena said. I am.
Blinding light surged from the moon, like a sonic boom, shaking the rocks loose from the walls. I couldn't see anything but the moonlight. I felt Lena's fear and her pain, pouring over me like a wave. Every loss, every mistake, was seared into her soul, creating a different kind of tattoo. One made from rage and abandonment, heartbreak and tears.
Moonlight flooded the cave, pure and blinding. For a minute, I couldn't see or hear anything. Then I looked over at Lena, tears running down her cheeks and shining in her eyes, which were now their true colors.
One green, one gold.
She flung her head back to face the moon. Her body twisted, her feet hovering above the stone. Below her, the fighting stopped. No one spoke or moved. Every Caster and Demon in the room seemed to know what was happening, that their fates hung in the balance. Above her, the brightness of the moon began to vibrate, the light pulling, until the whole cave was one ball of light.
The moon continued to swell. Like a moment from a dream, the moon split into two halves, dividing in the sky directly over where Lena stood. The moonlight behind her seemed to form a giant, luminous butterfly, with two brilliant, glowing wings. One green, one gold.
A cracking sound echoed across the cave, and Lena screamed.