"I too have something more valuable than gold," said Kim Pyong II.
"Here we go. Dueling despots," groaned Remo.
"I will listen to both offers and choose," declared Chiun.
"Me first," said Kim Jong II. And stepping forward, he whispered into the receptive ears of the Master of Sinanju.
"This is an interesting offer," mused Chiun. Then, turning to the other Kim, he asked, "What is your offer?"
"I have no gold to offer, either, but rather information of inestimable importance to you."
"I cannot trade my services for information my ears have not heard nor my brain evaluated," returned Chiun stonily.
"When I reveal my information, it will sing to your ears and fire your spirit."
"I will listen and if this is true, I will respond accordingly."
Just then the air raid sirens wailed a song that froze the blood and brought the color of cold stone to the faces of the two Kims.
Kim Pyong II sucked in a deep breath. "I regret to inform the Master of Sinanju, guardian of our honor and fountain of our glory, that the hated Americans have targeted the Pearl of the Orient with their vicious missiles."
"Nice try," said Remo.
"Is this true?" Chiun demanded, cold of voice.
"You know it isn't true," Remo said.
"It's true," insisted Kim Pyong II. "Having lost Sinanju to the East, the reactionaries desire its destruction."
Chiun's wispy hair quivered delicately. "But Sinanju dwells not in my village, but in the heart of the Master."
"And his pupil," said Remo.
"Nevertheless, Master, it is so."
Chiun turned to Remo. "Could this be true? Would Smith be so foolish?"
"Maybe yes. Maybe no. Why don't we ask him?"
"He would never admit this."
"I do not know who Smith is," said Kim Pyong II, "but I have an official cable from Washington warning that this is so."
"Where is this cable?"
And the attending General Toksa proffered the cable. The Master of Sinanju took it. Remo read it over his shoulder.
"Looks authentic to me," Remo said.
"Why does it say Sinanju Scorpion?" wondered Chiun.
"I do not know," the premier of North Korea said, licking his pale lips.
"You lie!"
Eyes shifted guiltily.
"My information is correct and true," Kim Pyong II said stiffly, "and I must have your answer and allegiance."
"And I will give it when the full truth is revealed."
Eyes shifted again.
"He's hiding something," Kim Jong II said. "I know him. He's my little half brother, the weasel."
"You should talk," Remo grunted.
"Go on, tell the Master of Sinanju. Tell him the truth."
Remo stepped up and took Kim Pyong II by the back of the head, lifting him off his booted feet. "There are ways and there are ways."
"An announcement was made," Kim Pyong II said. "It was premature. We did send you an offer, did we not?"
"The House has come to Pyongyang, has it not?" Chiun countered.
"We announced to our enemies and the world that Sinanju again serves Korea. The true Korea. Yes?"
No one spoke. Chiun's eyes were chilling with every passing second.
"The hated enemies, loathsomely jealous, employed their sky spies to seek out the new seat of Korean power and, finding your village, placed it in the cross hairs of their thousand guns."
"They have threatened Sinanju?"
"You have read the cable yourself. Never before have they been so bold."
"This isn't like Smith," Remo said. "Or Washington, for that matter."
Chiun's glittering eyes fixed Kim Pyong II. "You have placed my village and its people in danger."
"No. I swear I did nothing deliberate. It was merely counterreactionary propaganda."
At that point Kim Jong II stepped up and said, "Kill him and I can get you out of this."
Chiun turned his head, fixing Jong with a steely eye. "How?"
And Kim Jong II whispered in the ear of the Master of Sinanju.