"I heard him," Remo growled.
"Then why did you ask him to repeat himself?"
"Because I wanted him to say it again is all," Remo said.
"I see," Chiun said. "That makes it all clear." He rolled his eyes upward in his head and turned toward the window in the fourteenth floor suite in the Meadowlands Hilton. Across the narrow strip of the Hackensack River and a buffer zone of New Jersey meadowlands, he could see darkened Giants Stadium where other teams came in and did football to the Giants. Next to it was the brightly-lighted Meadowlands racetrack, its lights glowing in the dim foggy night like the radium smear in Madame Curie's saucer.
"Why?" Remo asked Smith. "If the Lippincotts need guarding, they got enough money to hire the Pinkertons. All the Pinkertons. Throw in the FBI too, for good measure."
Smith shook his head. He was used to these complaints. "We don't know that, Remo," he said.
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"Why not?"
"Because we don't know who is behind this attempt to kill the Lippincotts. If there is one."
"You better start at the top," Remo said. "You're confusing me more than you usually do." "I find it perfectly clear," Chiun said. Smith said, "One of the Lippincotts dove out a window in Tokyo. Nobody knows it but he was there on a special trade mission for the President. The President got word that someone was going to kill all the Lippincotts, using animals somehow. We don't know what that was about." "You know a lot," Remo said. Smith continued. "It's just possible that a foreign government may be trying to do in the Lippincott family so they can't perform this special mission for the President. We don't know but we can't take chances. That's why we need you."
"What's this big special mission the Lippincotts were on?" Remo asked.
"It has to do with currency and the dollar abroad," Smith said.
"No more," Remo said. "I hate economics." ' "I find it very interesting," said Chiun, turning back to the room. "You may tell me."
"You would find it interesting," Remo said. Smith nodded and began explaining to Chiun about the declining value of the dollar and how it raised the prices Americans paid for imports and how these higher prices brought about higher prices on American goods. These higher prices brought about higher wages, with no increase in productivity, and this caused inflation and inflation, through a se-
52
ries of steps, caused joblessness and joblessness threatened to cause depression.
As he spoke, Remo sat down on the edge of the couch and with his hands, spun the cylinder of an imaginary revolver, opened it, inserted an imaginary bullet, closed the cylinder, spun it again, put the imaginary gun to his head, cocked the hammer and squeezed the trigger, blowing his imaginary brains out. His head slumped off to one side. Smith stared at him.
Chiun said to Smith, "Ignore him. He was not allowed outside for recess today."
Remo sat there, his head lolling to one side like a dead man, until Smith had finished.
"I see," said Chiun. "We will guard the Lippincotts because this is very important." Remo sat upright. "We will, huh? Who says so?" "Ruby Gonzalez said you'd be glad to take the assignment," Smith said.
"Well, Ruby's playing with a half a deck," Remo said. "I'm not afraid of her anymore." He reached into his pocket and brought out two little cones of soft surgical rubber. "See these? Earplugs. The next time I see her, I'm just going to slip them in and she can yell all she wants for all I care and it won't do her any good. Where is Ruby anyway?"
"She's working on this same case," Smith said. "She's trying to track down the person who wrote that letter to the President about the Lippincotts." "But where?" asked Remo.
"In New York," Smith said. He waved in the general direction of New York City, only four miles away from the hotel where they sat.
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Remo opened a side window and stuck his head out.
"Ruby," he shouted hito the night. "I'm not afraid of you anymore."
He cocked his head, as if listening, then came back into the room.
"She said she didn't find out anything yet."
"I didn't hear anything," Smith said.
"It's only four miles," Remo said. "Ruby's whisper can carry four miles."
"But she is a nice lady," Chiun said. "She will give you wonderful children."
"Not on your life, Chiun," said Remo.
"That's true," Chiun said. He confided to Smith in a stage whisper, "Ruby will not have him. She has told me many times ¿at she considers Remo too ugly to father her child."
"Yeah?" said Remo.
"Ruby said something else," said Smith. "Let me get this just right. She said to tell the turkey that she would find out what this is all about before he did."
"She did, huh?" demanded Remo. Smith nodded. "Elmer Lippincott Sr. is at his estate in White Plains. He is expecting you. He has been told that you are consultants with the government and are setting up new security procedures for the family. And if you keep in touch, I'll let you know what Ruby finds out."
"We won't need that," Remo said. "We'll have this cleaned up before she finds a place to park her car."
After Smith had left, Remo said to Chiun "I still think it's stupid, Little Father. Guarding the Lippia-
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cotts. We're not bodyguards. Let them hire their own."
"You're absolutely right," Chiun said.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Say that again," Remo said.
"You're absolutely right. Why say it again?"
"I wanted to savor it," said Remo. "If I'm absolutely right, why are we doing this?"
"It's very simple," Chiun said. "You heard Emperor Smith. If we do this, it will save America a lot of dollars. It seems only correct that if we save America many dollars, some of them should come to us."
"That's not what Smith meant when he was talking about saving the dollar," Remo said.
"It's not?" asked Chiun.
"No."
"Oh, the duplicity of the man," said Chiun. "Remo, through the course of history, the House of Sinanju has worked for many emperors, but this is the only one who never says what he means, and always means something different from what he says."