“We need to have Mara’s seamstress make you a few new dresses. You have become horribly thin.” Ussay pulled the laces tight in the back of Kira’s dress, but left plenty of room to breathe. Thank goodness they didn’t have corsets in this world.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll put the weight back on.”
Ussay had been very generous with her forgiveness, especially since Kira helped clean up the water mess. She wasn’t, however, happy about Cade getting hurt. Again. Even though Ussay managed to hold her tongue, her short answers and occasional silent treatment made it obvious that the idea of Cade being hurt saving Kira upset her.
“So, what’s the story between you and Cade?”
“Story? What do you mean?”
“You like Cade. Does he like you?”
“No, he does not like me.” Ussay finished with the dress and switched her focus to Kira’s hair. “Would you like it in a braid today?”
“No, it’s fine down. You’re avoiding my question.”
Ussay blushed. “There is nothing between us.”
Kira sighed. “I thought you were to be betrothed. Did you change your mind?”
Ussay’s head shot up. “No. I am not good enough for him.” She lowered her eyes again. “I thought he had feelings for me. . and then. . he has no need for me. It is that simple.”
“Well, maybe we should plan an outing and invite Cade to come with us. Maybe if you two spent some time together, he’d change his mind. That is, when he’s feeling better.”
Ussay didn’t say anything at first, her fingers busy detangling Kira’s hair. “Do you think he would come?” she finally asked.
“Of course. After all, I need protection and you must stay with me at all times.”
She giggled and then curtsied. “As you wish, my lady.”
Kira stood and twirled around. “Well, how do I look?” But before she could answer, the door flew open and Arela ran in.
“Lady Kira,” she cried, trying to catch her breath. “Mother received word. Octavion and Luka are arriving in the courtyard.” Then she disappeared.
Kira looked at where the little girl’s mist quickly faded away. She couldn’t move. Every emotion she’d hidden for the past few days came flooding back at once. She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry, but she was pretty sure by the look on Ussay’s face, regardless of what emotion she decided to show, it would be expressed as they ran for the stairs. Ussay grabbed Kira’s hand and pulled her out the door. At the top of the stairs, she let go and continued her descent alone, leaving Kira to pause about half way down. She watched expectantly as Luka walked through the door, his mother and father trailing close behind him.
Her heart leapt into her throat, waiting for Octavion to follow. They all fussed over a wound on Luka’s arm even though he insisted he was fine. When Luka looked up and their eyes met, he took in a deep breath and pushed the others aside.
“Kira,” he said, but there was something different in his voice. Regret? No, not regret. Pain. Sorrow.
Octavion. Kira put her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. “No,” she whispered, as she collapsed onto the stairs and buried her face in her hands. “Al, he’s dead. He’s really dead.” The pressure living in her chest for days now caused her heart to race and she couldn’t breathe.
“Kira.” The voice unfamiliar, yet strong and kind.
She looked up to find Nestor and Luka on either side of her, concern in their eyes. All those days of not being able to cry and now she couldn’t stop. “I told him not to go. I pleaded with him.”
“Shh, Kira. He is not dead. Calm down and I will explain,” Luka said.
She tried to slow her breathing. “Then where is he?”
Luka took her hand. “He is fine. After we opened the doorway to our world, I stepped through. But Octavion thought he saw Shandira so he grabbed the journey stone and closed the portal.”
“You left him alone? You have to go back, she’ll kill him.”
“It will be all right, Kira. He told me he is finished fighting. Cael and Zerek are dead and so are her scouts. She is on her own now. We could have tracked her, but he wanted to come back to make sure you were all right.” He looked at his father and then back to Kira. “He had a horrible nightmare last night-woke screaming your name. He saw you take your own life. We would have come back then, but it is too dangerous to travel through the portal in darkness.”
Kira grabbed the front of his shirt. “You can’t just leave him there alone.”
“He will not fight her. I know him. He will leap from one place to another until he is certain she has not followed. Then he will open the doorway and step through.”
She tried to calm her racing heart by taking in a deep breath. “How long?”
“There is no way to tell and we cannot risk asking him. She will hear his thoughts. It could be soon or. . a day or more. He will not take the chance of Shandira entering our world. It is better to keep her there.”
Goose bumps rose on her arms as Kira thought of Shandira being turned loose on Ophira. Everything they’d gone through, including Lydia’s death, would be in vain.
“When you saw me downstairs. .” she swallowed hard. “Why did you look at me with so much sadness, like. . he was dead? I don’t think I read your expression wrong.”
He smiled. “Because I thought you were dead, not Octavion. When I saw you, my heart slammed against my chest and I thought it might stop.” He put his hand on the side of her face. “My cousin will be very happy when he returns.”
She nodded. “He won’t be the only one.”
Luka opened his arms for comfort and she leaned into them. His warmth felt good against her face, but her arms longed for another.
“Perhaps I should hope he stays on the other side. I could grow accustomed to this.”
Nestor growled.
Kira pulled away and slapped Luka on the arm-his wounded arm.
“Aaah. Again with the abuse. Perhaps I should seriously consider the armor.”
Nestor smiled, but remained silent.
“And maybe I should tell Octavion you’re hitting on me.” She braced herself on Luka’s shoulder and stood, trying her wobbly legs. They would do. “Will you need stitches in that arm?”
“Yes,” Nestor said.
“No,” Luka argued. “I will not have. .”
Nestor’s glare cut him off.
“Yes, father.”
Kira chuckled as she walked past them and went back to her room. Once she was sure everyone had cleared out of the entry she went to the courtyard to wait. She sat near the fountain until the sun rose directly above the castle. Both Ussay and Arela tried several times to distract her, but she graciously refused, promising Arela she’d spend time with her and the other children later. When Ussay brought an afternoon meal, she accepted it. She’d eaten very little over the past few days and her stomach punished her with its churning.
Ussay peeled something that looked like a banana, except for the bright yellow fruit inside. “You are getting too much sun. Perhaps we should wait in the garden. There is plenty of shade there.”
“Maybe when we’re finished eating.” Kira watched as she finished removing the peel. “What is that?”
Ussay smiled, but didn’t answer. “Would you like some?” She broke off a small piece and handed it to her.
Kira eagerly took a bite. It tasted like strawberries covered in whipped cream. “Why haven’t you given me this before?” She reached for another piece so Ussay gave her the whole fruit. She took a huge bite and scarfed it down.
“I did. You refused it.”
Kira stopped eating long enough to dispute her claim. “I would have remembered tasting this. What is it called?”
She picked another one from her basket, peeled it quickly and took a big bite. “Koostai,” she mumbled.
“Koostai? You’re lying. That stuff you tried to feed me that smelled like dirty socks?”
Ussay nodded and then took another bite.
“But it was gray.”
“It turns that color when it is cooked and mashed. It also smells bad, but it retains its sweet flavor.” She seemed pleased with herself.
“Well, you can feed me this anytime you want.” They both laughed.
When they’d finished with their meal, Kira helped Ussay clean up and found a shady place in the garden. She welcomed the flower’s fragrance, a drastic change to the stables on the other side of the courtyard. She’d only been there a few minutes when Luka came through the glass doors sporting a white linen bandage on his arm.
“Shall I try to get sympathy from the ladies?” he teased.
“Maybe you should try picking one and being faithful.” She’d been joking, but judging by the look on his face, she’d struck a cord.
“My heart has already chosen.” He sat next to her on the stone bench. “It is not easy when circumstances prevent a union.”
Kira sighed. “I’m sorry, Luka. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Not to worry, Kira.” He gently laid his hand on hers. “It is a rare gift to have someone who feels as you do toward Octavion. True love does not come easy in our world.”
Luka tensed, dropping her hand.
“What is it?” she asked.
He smiled. “I believe my cousin is jealous. I enjoyed our visit, even though it was cut short.” He stood and walked away.
“Wait. What are you talking about?” But he didn’t answer. He walked through the glass doors of the castle and disappeared from her view.
“Have you found another, so soon?” A deep voice came from behind her. She turned to find Octavion leaning against a tree, sporting his dimples. “Perhaps I should leave again.”
“Don’t you dare.” She jumped to her feet, took two steps and leapt into his arms. He barely had time to catch her.
As he pulled her close she felt his heart pounding inside his chest. He leaned down, buried his face in her hair and took in her scent. “I want to take you someplace. Will you go with me?”
“Anywhere,” she whispered.
He scooped her up in his arms and looked into her eyes. “May I kiss you?”
For some reason, his words pricked at her heart strings. He’d never asked permission to kiss her before she’d been attacked-before she’d become barren. Maybe things were different. She avoided his eyes, hiding the tears that burned them. For just an instant, she wanted to crawl back into her shell.
“Did I say something wrong?”
She looked back into his deep blue eyes. “No, these are happy tears. And yes, you can kiss me.”
Octavion’s brow furrowed as he held her gaze. “I will never leave you like that again, Kira-never.”
She closed her eyes as he pressed his lips to hers. His warm breath rushed over her like a summer breeze as he continued kissing her face and neck. She reacted by arching back slightly. His whole body tensed and he pulled away. She opened her eyes to find his face cringing with pain. He adjusted his hold on her.
“Close your eyes, Kira.” He flashed his dimples.
“Wait. Are you hurt?” But before he could answer, a flash of light almost blinded her and the garden began to spin. She closed her eyes in time to avoid the disorienting effects of the leap. When she opened them again they stood in the forest. He gently lowered her to the ground.
“No, I am not hurt.” But he cringed again when she lightly touched his left side.
“Octavion, let me see that.” She pulled his tunic up enough to expose a purple and black bruise over his ribs the exact size of a man’s boot. “Who did this?”
“Kira, it is nothing. I will be fine.”
“Are they broken?”
“No, I believe they are only bruised.” He brushed her hand away and pulled down his shirt. “Now will you let me show you why I brought you here?” He spun her around, pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Then he pointed.
At first she only saw trees and bushes, but then looked closer. A small stone chimney jutted out of the greenery-a billowing cloud of smoke making its way up through the trees. Beneath it she could barely make out an old weathered piece of wood-a door to a small structure completely overgrown with ivy.
“Who lives here?” she asked.
“It is mine. I used to come here as a young boy. I spent more time here than in my chambers. It suited me better than the castle. When I grew older and began to hunt, I came here when the moons were new.”
“Who started the fire?”
“I did. I opened the portal here so I could wash up and change before I came for you.” He released her and took her hand. “Come. I want you to see the inside.”
“Is this where you went the other night?”
“Yes.” He walked her to the door, turned the latch and led her inside. “It is a mess. I have not had time to clean.”
The glow from the fire made the room warm and inviting. She’d spent so much time in his chambers at the castle that she hadn’t given much thought to the fact that it held no personal effects except for a few books and clothes. Now she knew why. This place screamed Octavion. The rich woodsy aroma of musk and leather filled her senses as he coaxed her further into the room.
“Do you like it?” he said as he closed the door behind them, the rusted hinges groaning and squeaking from lack of use.
“I never want to leave. It’s. . home.” The bed shoved against the wall in the far corner had posts and rails made of tree branches-their bark removed and rubbed smooth. The thick and lumpy mattress was covered with several worn blankets while the pillow cases appeared to have once been fine linen, but were also worn with tattered edges.
Bookshelves lined the opposite corner of the room, filled with old books, glass bottles and metal vials intermingled with wooden boxes, stacks of papers and a glass jar holding paint brushes. In front of the shelves sat an overstuffed chair that had seen better days and a small wooden bench used as a foot stool. She could visualize Octavion sitting there reading or enjoying the warmth of the fire.
To her left, the cobblestone fireplace stretched to the ceiling adorned with a large hand carved mantle that ran the entire width. A simple hearth raised up from the floor just enough to provide more seating, especially on cold nights. The pelt of a black bear-like creature covered the floor beneath it.
“Kira, are you all right? You are so quiet.” She hadn’t notice he sat on the edge of the bed. He patted the mattress beside him, releasing a small poof of dust. “Care to sit with me?”
“Sure.” But instead of sitting on the edge like he had, she hiked up her dress and climbed into the middle of the bed to sit cross legged. He smiled and turned to face her. The flicker of the fire made his eyes glow. Although they were the deepest blue, she could see hints of gold hiding inside. He studied her eyes as well and she wondered if their darkness bothered him. His silence made her uncomfortable, so she looked down at her hands.
“I had a dream last night,” he finally said.
Kira nodded. “Luka told me.”
He sighed. “Then you know how terrified I was that I had lost you.” He put his finger under her chin and gently raised her face so their eyes met again. “I am glad it was only a dream.”
“I never would have jumped,” she lied.
A deep crease formed between his eyes. “I did not tell Luka how I saw you die, only that you took your own life.”
Kira cringed. “I. .” Nothing came. She didn’t want to think about how close she came to not only taking her life, but Altaria’s and Cade’s as well.
“Kira. What did you do?”
“Don’t be mad. I didn’t go out there to kill myself. I just needed to feel something. I felt so numb about what had happened to me and heartbroken about Lydia. . and Altaria. I thought you were never coming back. And then Cade showed up and Arela saw me. I tried to get down off the rock, but my foot slipped. I didn’t. . jump, I. . slipped.” She pushed away the burning in her eyes. She was sick of crying. “Cade went in after me. He got hurt, and it’s all my fault.”
Octavion pulled her into his arms and held her there for a moment. His chest heaved and his breathing deepened. “Kira,” he said, his voice deep and throaty. She wondered what she’d said to make him transform, but when he pushed her back and looked into her eyes, they weren’t yellow, but wet. He took her face in his hands. “Never again, do you understand me? My life would end as well.” He shook his head. “You must never think your life. . is worth nothing.”
“I didn’t jump.” She pulled his hands away from her face. She couldn’t tell him the real reason she wanted to take her life-to rejoin Altaria and Lydia’s spirits. “Cade was there-ask him. He’ll tell you I slipped.”
He straightened. “Cade saw the whole thing?”
“Yes. Arela saw me go out there and called him.”
He took his hands back and stood. “Then I shall have him show me.”
“Show?”
He stepped to the fireplace and stirred the coals with a section of rod iron he’d retrieved from a hook at the end of the mantle. “We all have gifts. Cade can send his thoughts, but he is also able to send images of things he’s seen. Like when you shared your memories with Lydia.”
Her stomach swelled into her throat. She had to swallow to keep from getting sick. “You mean you’ll see me. . when I fell?”
He slowly turned to face her. “Yes.”
“Octavion, you don’t have to do. .”
He put his hand up to cut her off. “I need to see it.” He closed his eyes, his face wrinkled in concentration. A few moments passed before his expression changed and she knew he was there, seeing her step closer to the edge of the cliff. She could almost tell what part of the night he watched by his body language and the way his brow furrowed. She knew the exact moment she slipped off the rock-he sucked in a quick breath, then stopped breathing altogether. A few seconds passed and his eyes opened. He looked at her, but said nothing else until he’d returned to her side.
“Cade. . is fine,” he managed. Then he took in a deep breath and turned to face her. Rage flicked around the edges of his eyes. “You lied to me, Kira. You said you did not go out there to take your life. And how long have you been sharing thoughts with Altaria?”
“What? I’m not. I mean. . I didn’t go out there to kill myself. I just wanted to feel the rain on my face, to feel something-anything. I was so numb I couldn’t even cry. But then. . I thought about Lydia.” Her tears flowed freely now, despite her efforts to hold them back. How could she explain this? The very thought of his sister’s spirits spending eternity apart would crush him. And how would he treat Kira if he knew? Even kissing her would be different knowing Altaria saw and heard everything Kira did. But then she’d promised not to keep anything from him. No secrets between them. “Um. . I can’t hear Altaria’s thoughts. But. . I speak to her all the time and. . I can feel her.”
Confusion washed over Octavion’s face. “What do you mean by feel her?”
Kira scooted to the edge of the bed and stood. It was pretty obvious what Altaria wanted. The ache in Kira’s chest was so severe, she could hardly breathe. She wanted out. “Stop it,” she whispered, pressing against the pain.
“Kira, you need to tell me what is going on. Are you hearing Altaria’s thoughts? And why are you grabbing at your chest? Is it your heart again, like when you healed?”
“No, it’s not my heart.” She walked to the little window and tried to peek outside through the ivy that covered it. She turned to face him. “I should have told you, but I promised Lydia I’d keep it a secret, and then when I found out she died, I thought about how upset you would be and. .”
Octavion jumped to his feet, crossed the room and took Kira by the shoulders. “Tell me what?”
“It’s Altaria. She’s not dead. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.” She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.
Octavion dropped his hands to his side. “Kira, there are things. .” He groaned. “You need to tell me everything-from the beginning.”
Kira nodded. “It happened in the canyon, right before you came back. Remember? You asked me if Shandira bit me and I told you that it was Altaria, but it wasn’t her fault.”
He pulled the chair from under the desk and motioned for her to sit, then sat across from her on the hearth. “I remember, but what does that have to do with thinking she is alive?”
“I’m not sure what happened exactly. I just know that when I cut my hand to heal Altaria, the smell of my blood made her transform and she wanted to kill me. Lydia must have known that and the only way she could think to save my life was to force Altaria’s spirit to leave her body. . and. .” She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat before opening them again. “She gave her to me.”
“What? What are you saying?”
“I’m saying Altaria’s spirit is locked inside me. She’s stuck, Octavion, and she’s so mad.” Kira’s heart raced and the pain was almost unbearable.
Octavion’s face suddenly lost all its color. “Altaria. . is inside you?”
“Yeah, and she’s really pissed.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, stood and began pacing. “And you are certain? You hear her? Feel her?”
“Not exactly. It’s like she’s living inside my heart or something. I ask her questions and she makes my heart race or my blood flow faster which warms me. I think she has control of your blood-the Royal inside me-but that’s it. She hasn’t been able to control anything else. At least I don’t think she has.”
This time Octavion knelt in front of her. “So she can hear me now?”
Kira’s heart skipped a beat. She smiled. “Yeah. She can hear me speak and see what I see, but we can’t share thoughts.”
She hadn’t noticed until then, that Octavion’s eyes were filled with tears-which was a complete contrast to the smile that slowly crept across his face. He took her hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I brought you hear to tell you something-to tell both you and Altaria. Promise me you will hear me out before you get angry.”
Kira straightened. So he’d kept secrets too. “Tell me what?”
“Promise first.”
She withdrew her hands and folded her arms. “I promise.”
He sat back on his heels. “Before I left, Luka and I fought because I was angry with him for not telling me about the Royals who attacked you, but then he reminded me that I was the one keeping a secret. The night I brought Lydia home I had to leave her in my father’s arms. My hunger was so strong I could not help him with her. My thoughts were on feeding-nothing else-not even you.”
“Ussay told me about what happened-about Luka and the old man.”
He nodded. “Good, then I will leave that part out.” He rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Two days passed before I returned to the castle. After checking on you, I went straight to Lydia’s side to find her wound mending, but she would not wake. She was so weak and now I know why. Without Altaria. .”
“She died,” Kira finished.
Octavion wiped a tear from Kira’s face. “No. That is the truth I kept from you.”
“I don’t understand.”
He smiled. “I am sorry Kira. I gave an oath to my father-my king. I would rather die than go against that. I only tell you so you understand that what I am about to say could bring a heavy price.”
Kira felt her blood boiling insider her. Maybe Altaria had figured his secret out before she had. “Tell me what?”
“Lydia. . did not die.”
Kira pressed her hand to her racing heart. “She didn’t die the day before I arrived?”
He didn’t answer at first, just gazed into her eyes. Then he gently caressed the side of her face and smiled. “No, my love. She is still alive.”