"That is right. Alvin is married to my daughter. He is my nephew."
"Son-in-law," Remo corrected, with an uncomfortable smile.
"He's just a kid. He can't be married to anybody," said the guard.
"Why are you being difficult?" Chiun asked. "I come here to see my close relative… what is his name again, Remo?"
"Alvin."
"I come here to see my very close relative, Alvin, the husband of my daughter, and you give me difficulty."
"Yeah? Well, let me tell you something. You'd be amazed at the perverts we get hanging around here, because of these little kids. Now I think you better get out of here before I call the cops. You want to see Alvin, you come tomorrow."
"Remo. Reason with him."
When the guard was asleep, Remo took his keys and Chiun led the way to the elevator.
"Perhaps it is your haircut," Chiun said.
"Perhaps what is my haircut?"
"The reason that person thought you might be a pervert. Perhaps you should see about getting a haircut."
The elevator opened onto a long corridor at the end of which sat another uniformed guard.
"Now let me handle this," Chiun said.
"Fine," said Remo. "But clean up your own bodies."
"There will be no bodies. I will trick him."
Chiun walked gently up to the desk, with Remo behind him. In back of the desk, the guard rolled away slightly in his swivel chair to free his gun hand. He was reading a copy of Amazing Detective stories.
"Hi, fella," said Chiun with a smile. "I gave up my Monday night football to come here to visit with my close relative, Alvin something."
"This is Wednesday," said the guard. "Who let you up here?"
"The kindly gentleman downstairs," Chiun said.
"Rocco? Rocco let you up here?"
"He did not tell me his name. Did he tell you his name, Remo?"
"No. But he looked like Rocco."
"Where's your pass?" said the guard.
"Remo, give him our pass."
"Yeah. Right. The pass."
When the second guard had joined Rocco in repose, Remo asked Chiun if he had any other clever schemes in mind.
"No. Everything seems to have gone along nicely. As I told you, there is no need to difficultize problems,"
"There's no such word as 'difficultize.' "
"There should be."
On the wall next to the sleeping guard were long rows of shelves with papers, forms, office supplies, towels, sheets, pillowcases, and light blue uniforms. Remo took two of the sheets.
Alvin Dewar had had no trouble falling asleep. He slept the blissful sleep of a guiltless child, flat on his back, arms up over his head, sipping air through his slightly opened mouth.
"Alvinnnn. Oooooooh."
Alvin sat up on the hard-mattressed cot in the large single cell at the far end of the building, and looked toward the bars of his cell.
There were two figures there, two white swirls standing outside the bars, barely visible in the dim light from the end of the corridor.
"Alvinnnnn. Oooooohhhhh," came the call again.
Alvin rubbed the sleepers from the corners of his eyes and looked again at the bars. The two figures were still there, stark white on the side near the light, black on the shadowed side away from the light.
"Who are you?" asked Alvin uncertainly.
"We are the ghosts of the men you have killed."
"How come two ghosts when I only killed one guy?" asked Alvin.
"Errrr, the spirit is divided into two parts. We are both parts."
"That's crazy," said Alvin. "Look. You want to talk to me, see my lawyer. I've got to get some sleep. There's a shrink coming tomorrow to look me over, and I want to be at the top of my form."
"We are here to give you a chance to repent of your sins."
"Hey, buddy," said Alvin. "Why don't you take your sheet and go back to the laundry? Leave me alone or I'll call a guard. I'm tired." Alvin Dewar lay back down and rolled onto his right side so he was facing the wall. He had been warned. The cops might resort to anything to get him to talk.
"Last chance, Alvin," came the voice.
"Piss off, will you?"
Alvin shook his head in disgust. Now the two dopes outside the cell were arguing.
"No such thing as a bad kid, huh?"
"He is not bad. Merely misguided." That was a funny voice, a sing-song like the Kung-fu show he used to like to watch.