7
"I've got your diagnosis already," said the clerk after Richie had explained what had been happening.
Richie wanted to wipe that smug grin off his pimply face—preferably with a barbed-wire washcloth. His white coat hung loose on his narrow shoulders; he had a shaved head and lots of earrings. Lots. Richie stopped counting at six.
"Yeah? What?"
"Your computer caught a cold."
What was this asshole up to? "How do you know that? You ain't even hooked it up yet."
A wider smile as the geek hooked his thumb under the name tag of the white coat. It said Dr. Marty.
"The doctor knows. And you've come to the right place. Where better to take a computer with a virus than to the Computer Doctor?"
"Virus?" Richie had heard of those. "How'd I get that?"
"Do you have antivirus software?"
"No."
Dr. Marty rolled his eyes. "Do you go on the Internet?"
"Well, yeah." This clown better not ask where.
"Ever download anything—programs, patches, files?"
"Yeah, sometimes."
Lots of times. Richie didn't know what a patch was, but he'd downloaded a ton of picture files of tight young bodies going hot and heavy at—
"Then that's where you probably picked it up. That or through e-mail."
"So it doesn't mean someone came into my office and put this in my machine?"
"You mean physically uploading it into your machine?" Dr. Marty laughed. "Hardly! This is the twenty-first century! You opened your computer's door and it breezed right in off the Internet."
Well, that was a relief. Sort of.
Dr. Marty then went on to explain something called the HYRTBU virus that causes exactly what had happened to Richie's machine.
"Can you fix it?"
"Of course. I'll install some antivirus software and run a diagnostic."
"How long's that gonna take?"
"Give me a couple of hours. Leave your number and I'll call when it's cleaned up." He shook his head. "Won't be able to retrieve any of your files, though. They're dead and gone. HYRTBU takes no prisoners."
"That's okay. I've got backup."
Dr. Marty gave him a thumbs-up. "My man!"
"Hey, no chance of this HYRTBU thing messing up my backup?"
"Can't. Not if you're backed up on CD. That's ROM and you can't—"
Richie had heard all he needed to hear.
"Great. I'll be waiting for your call."