Night portended to be a much more peaceful event when experienced within the considerably safer confines of an occupied tribal longhouse. Even so, the environs still demanded a number of adjustments by Janus in order for him to attain a semblance of comfort. It was not an entirely easy task, lying atop cornhusk mats and animal skins spread upon the hard, rough surface of the wooden sleeping platform underneath him.
The air itself was thick to breathe, hindered as it was by very low circulation and ventilation within the domestic chamber. The smoke hole, set directly above the hearth used by both sides of the chamber, was far from effective in filtering out the dense airs of the compartment.
Janus could only imagine how much more ponderous breathing was in the depths of a cold winter, when larger fires had to be lit within the chamber for warmth. He had no doubts that the chamber confines that he was now quartered within could become very congested, if not stifling, rather quickly.
At the moment, no fires were lit within the longhouse compartment. A full stack of firewood lay idle in the storage space set to one side of the sleeping platform. Another such pile rose from the ground in the corresponding space across the chamber, by the other sleeping platform. It was much too warm inside the compartment to even consider putting the wood to use.
Adding to the general discomfort, Janus was beginning to feel the effects from the sheer accumulation of bug bites, though he had not yet given in to applying the grease to his skin that the tribal people used so generously upon their own bodies. At the moment, he was still willing to tough out the irritations brought about by the numerous insects that shared the interior of the longhouse.
Weariness having overridden discomfort, Janus had already slept for several hours, and he did not currently feel like going back to sleep. He lay still within the shadowy darkness, staring upwards at the narrow elm-bark boards comprising the underside of the upper platform. Spanning the full length of the compartment, the higher level was used as a type of garret for storing a number of various items; including the additional pelts which Janus now considered procuring to pad his sleeping space even further.
After a few more moments of consideration and calculation, he thought better of the idea, surmising that the additional effort would not result in very much of an alteration to his current state. Fumbling about in the darkness, he would also risk injury, as well as likely aggravating his slumbering and deeply exhausted companions.
He let out a quiet sigh, while taking in the strong scents of smoke and other odors prominent within the longhouse interior. His thoughts slowly drifted towards the two tribal families that were living in one of the chambers immediately adjacent to the compartment that he and his companions were in.
He had learned that one of the families was a newly wed couple, the woman from the Place of Far Seeing and the man from another Onan village. They had just recently arrived to live in the longhouse of the bride’s mother.
Though the new groom was amiable enough, Janus could sense from his brief interactions with him that the man was feeling more than a little awkward. It was very understandable, as the young man was living away from his own family and village for the first time in his entire life.
The other family sharing the compartment was also a fairly young couple. They had one small female child, and appeared to be much more settled, having already lived in the longhouse for a considerable amount of time.
The two families, as were all the families living within the longhouse, were of Ayenwatha’s own clan. His was the clan symbolized by the strange, predatory forest cat, whose fascinating likeness was proudly displayed over the longhouse’s entrances.
Janus had been as intrigued as he was daunted by the image that he had seen rendered upon the elm-bark panel. He had since learned that the six-legged, cat-like beast was called a Firaken. It was one of the most feared and respected creatures dwelling within the sprawling forests that blanketed the lands of the Five Realms.
As intrigued as he was by the utterly strange beast, the issue was similar to that of the Licanthers witnessed by his companions, the sabre-toothed beasts seen with the army beyond the forest’s edge. Janus was not altogether sure that he ever wanted to see a living and breathing Firaken, and certainly not as of just yet.
As far as he was concerned, he had been more than satisfied to experience an entirely mundane evening, wholly uneventful and spent in shelter and relative protection. The calm, uninterrupted night had finally bequeathed to him some solitary time for reflection.
Unfortunately, the tranquility had also proved quickly to be a double-edged sword. In a brief span of time, Janus had found himself nearly overwhelmed with resurgent feelings of loneliness. They had been there all the time. It was just that ever since his arrival within the new world, Janus had been kept far too busy and wary to dwell upon his own inner thoughts for very long. In light of the wrenching sorrows that had continually been tearing at him from within, the pressures and stresses of the unexpected foray into the new world had actually turned out to be a bit of a blessing.
Wounds were opened anew in the silence as Janus slowly succumbed to the onerous weight of his deeply abiding sorrows and fears. His mind drifted to darker places as he thought of the cold and murky road that he had taken ever since his father had so suddenly passed away, into the depths of the unknown. Janus had walked along that icy road shrouded with a stark sense of futility and helplessness, both of which had swiftly taken root and ripened within him.
The shock and anguish had brought the full weight of many other previous sorrows around to bear, forming them all into a bludgeoning amalgam of uncertainty and heartache. Having coalesced so many other older sorrows and fears into one thunderous blow, the nightmare had changed everything about Janus’ world. It had tipped him over the edge, shaken his ability to cope, and had shaped and tinted every last perspective of his ever since.
Not even a change of entire worlds could alter it. No matter what emergency might distract him, the wellsprings of sorrow would simply lay in wait to surface again at the nearest opportunity.
He knew all of that for certain, as he felt the weight of it all pressing upon him again, encompassing him with its gray and dampening malaise.
The uglier truth was that this new world had merely served to increase the strains and worries piling up further upon his sorely burdened spirit.
A part of Janus was frightened by the increasing dilemmas that he and his companions were being forced to face. Though he fully recognized the inherently good nature of the people of the Five Realms, he knew that he was still within an unfamiliar world fraught with unknown and terrible dangers.
His mind also wandered back to the deeply troubling thoughts of how, or even if, he would ever get back to the world from which he had come. His mother and sister were now beyond the reach of time and space, effectively as separated from Janus as he was from his deceased father. That thought was enough to shake him to the very core, and he knew that he had to do everything that he could to stop his mind from venturing down that hazardous path.
There was no longer any question of the reality of his new existence. As much as he wished that it were otherwise, it was not a matter of simply needing to wake up from the depths of a very bad, lucid dream.
He would have to come to terms with everything, but a certain irony was also haunting him now.
Janus had always been deeply bothered with the fundamental nature of the world that he had come from. In truth, he often loathed it passionately, with all of its attendant sorrows and tragedies that seemed to rain down so indiscriminately upon its hapless occupants. He had often wished with all his heart that he could somehow find his way to a fresh chance in a brand new world. Now, when he actually had such a chance right before him, the idea was not nearly as attractive as it had been before.
Then again, the fundamental nature of the world that he now found himself in was not really any different from that of his previous one. It was one of the main areas in which this world was much the same as his former one.
Death still reigned with ultimate dominion over all forms of life, the gaping, abyssal maw where all roads of life converged. Sorrow, fear, and grave danger still plagued human life with a relentless, and pitiless, onslaught. The walk to the village with Ayenwatha had made that abundantly clear, as the current plight of the tribal people had been revealed during the conversations that had taken place along the route.
Janus breathed deeply, suddenly catching himself with every last vestige of willpower as he felt his spirit sinking even lower. His spirit already dense and heavy, he knew that he could not weigh himself down much further. The sheer force of negative thoughts was threatening once again to get the best of him, taking him to the threshold of hopelessness.
Quietly, Janus willed himself to action, rousing himself and crawling carefully over the sleeping form of Antonio. He delicately made his way over to the edge of the platform, swung down over the side, and set his feet down onto the hard dirt floor.
Janus paused a few moments in the darkness to stretch his limbs, hearing a couple of faint cracks as his joints and vertebrae responded to the pressure. He listened to the rhythmic breathing of his companions, both those just behind him as well as those on the sleeping platform directly across the cold hearth, on the other side of the chamber.
Taking ginger steps so as not to disturb anyone, he moved slowly across the dirt floor. One by one, he passed through the openings in the walls separating the chambers in the extended sequence of living compartments.
He felt other eyes fall upon him in the darkness, coming from either side, and he heard the sounds of bodies shifting on the bark-panel sleeping platforms. Yet nobody spoke to him, or otherwise moved to halt his progress, as he kept his attention fixed squarely ahead. He concentrated on keeping his step light, though his short, careful strides resulted in many shuffles on the earthen surface underfoot.
Though the litany of similarly arrayed chambers seemed to be endless, he finally crossed through the storage vestibule that marked the culmination of the longhouse structure. Janus pushed aside the hide covering draped over the entryway, and emerged into the open night air.
The air that washed over Janus was refreshingly cool and crisp. It was an instant salve to his body, bringing a welcome relief from the cramped conditions, low circulation, and pungent environment of the chambers; not to mention the collective body heat of the longhouse’s numerous occupants.
The night seemed to be lingering idly at the boundary to dawn, passively awaiting the first rays of the new sun to finally drive it away. There was a very faint lightening to the blue-black canopy on the far edge of the horizon, visible from the favorable vantage afforded by the hill-top village.
Janus walked a short distance away from the end of the longhouse, and sat down cross-legged upon the flat ground. He looked out over the elongated, dark forms of the other longhouses occupying the village interior.
He settled himself in and stared away towards the horizons, looking at nothing in particular, content to await the rise of the sun. At the very least, the ascending sun carried with it an uplifting sense of renewal as it ushered in a new day.
“You do not look very happy,” a young voice announced softly to Janus.
The calmly voiced words might as well have been shouted out. Janus head jolted upright in complete surprise at the unexpected intrusion of his solitude, his heart immediately leaping up to his throat.
Rapidly turning his head towards the abrupt sound, he beheld a young boy of perhaps twelve years old, crouched down about five feet away. Arms wrapped about his knees, with his smooth hands clasped lightly in between, the youth looked upon Janus with a keen interest.
The child was clad in the typical fashions of the tribe’s more matured youth, not far removed from the attire of an adult, wearing leggings, a hide-kilt, and moccasins. The bare skin of his arms and lean upper body was as of yet unblemished by the tattoos so abundant on the adult males of the tribe.
The youth’s long black hair flowed freely over his shoulders, and the surface of his large, dark eyes appeared to gleam within the dim ambience of the pre-dawn.
He patiently awaited a response to his inquiry from Janus.
“No, I guess that I am not very happy,” Janus replied at last to the youth with a rueful grin, relaxing slightly from his initial shock. His tone lightened as his nerves gradually settled back down. “What brings you out here so early?”
The youth just smiled and shrugged, offering no verbal answer.
“Ah, a mystery,” Janus remarked with a slight smile.
“What is wrong?” the youth innocently inquired. He then repeated his initial observation, “You do not look very happy.”
Janus gazed upon the child for a long pause.
“I suppose it is because I recently lost a very, very close friend
… my father,” Janus commented in a weary voice, his eyes lowering as he stared towards the shadow-draped ground.
He did not know how to begin to explain his current situation to the young boy. It seemed to be an insurmountable proposition when he could not really grasp it himself.
“And I also suppose there is more to it now,” Janus continued. “I do not know your lands, and I do not know how to get back to my own lands. I am just very sad, and I have much to worry about. I guess that is why I don’t look happy.”
The child’s beaming face dimmed. “I understand sadness. And it is not good to feel lost. It is not good to lose friends… or fathers. But I have something that might help you.”
Before Janus could get another word in, the child sprung up, and abruptly bounded off into the depths of the darkness. Though the child was quickly out of sight, Janus could hear the boy giggling in mirth, and wondered what the spirited youth could possibly be up to. His curiosity piqued, Janus looked around after the boy, but it was several minutes before the youth finally returned into sight.
“Here he is,” the young boy announced to Janus, striding up and gesturing to his right side.
Though Janus looked closely, he perceived nothing at the child’s side. Only empty space occupied the area that the boy was so fervently indicating. Janus said nothing, not quite sure how to respond and having no inclination of what the boy expected of him.
“Can you not see him?” the young boy asked with enthusiasm, smiling luminously.
He looked down to his side again, and shook his head, as if in sheer disbelief towards Janus’ lack of reaction and perception.
The boy said matter-of-factly, as he pointed again, “He is right there.”
“See what?” Janus inquired at last of the insistent youth, becoming more than a little confused by the strange proceedings.
“A dog for you. Not like the village dogs. One with really long ears. One who will watch over you, and make sure that you have a companion to help you… even here, in these lands that are new to you,” the youth exclaimed brightly.
The words froze Janus for a moment. They nearly brought tears to his eyes, dredging up a deeper sorrow, one of those older floodwaters that had been fully released by his father’s passing.
On pure impulse, Janus felt that he wanted to scream out that his pain was nothing to make light of, or to play games with. Raw emotion had been poured over raw emotion often enough. Yet even in the strained moment, his heart and mind somehow won out over his immediate, passionate instincts.
He knew that the child had meant well enough, and did not know anything about all of his painful losses. Janus surmised that the imaginative child, in his own way, was just trying to make Janus feel better.
He then decided somewhat grudgingly to play along with the game, at least for the imaginative youth’s sake.
“Is it your dog?” Janus asked a little more firmly, acting as if he saw the dog at the boy’s side.
The child nodded, and then shook his head vigorously. To Janus, it was an odd response, but the child quickly explained, “Yes… but he is also yours. He is our dog. But I think that you need this friend with you now.”
Janus’ resistance could not hold everything back indefinitely, as the thoughts poured vividly into his head of older, lost friends. His eyes welled up at the thoughts of his precious hounds, and a few tears escaped and trickled slowly down his cheeks.
The child noticed the change in Janus, and his expression swiftly became saddened. “Do not cry. You did not lose your friends forever.”
Something strange seized upon Janus for a brief moment at the child’s words, giving him immediate pause. Janus wondered whether he had heard the child correctly, even if he knew in the fullness of his heart that his ears had not lied.
“This dog is one friend to you. There are others, one like him, another that is not,” the child then added.
The unexpected words pierced Janus through.
He looked down again at the ground, as the deep-seeded pains within him roared up again furiously, nearly choking him in their vice-like grasp. How badly he wanted to believe the young child, or at least what his mind could imagine that the child was referring to. Yet he did not think that there was any way of proving any relation to his own world within the youth’s mysterious, penetrating words.
It was just another trying episode, painfully reminding Janus of times that had left yet more scars on him that would never truly heal.
“Do not be sad,” he then heard the young boy say. The clear presence of conviction within the boy’s voice was not lost on Janus. “Sometimes, you just have to look with different eyes… eyes that see beyond the things of this world.”
Janus fought back his tears, as he recognized a sudden and peculiar change in the boy’s tone. Lying underneath the boy’s words was the presence of a deeper, resonant wisdom that did not seem quite normal for a boy of twelve.
Raising his head slowly, he brought his eyes up to meet those of the strange youth.
There was no one there.
Swiftly looking about in all directions, all that Janus beheld were the silent pools of shadows, the slumbering longhouses, and the upright stakes of the outer palisade. There were no sounds within the stillness, other than those from the light, whispering breezes gracing the hilltop village.
Janus had heard no footsteps, and he could not believe how quickly the youth had disappeared from sight. He chided himself for being so slow and unaware, and began to wonder if the whole episode was just a mere creation of his imagination, a figment given life by his own powerful sorrows. If it was such, it was likely the first indication that he was truly starting to lose his own grip on sanity.
As before, he found himself entirely alone.
With a brief, exasperated sigh, and a couple of deep breaths, he slowly got back up to his feet. Even though the horizon had grown noticeably lighter, Janus meandered back towards the sheltered porch at the entryway into the longhouse of Ayenwatha’s Firaken clan.
Janus no longer had any interest in watching the sun rise.