Kendall thinks maybe she knows a little better how Tiffany’s closest friends must have felt. She looks over to the sophomore section and catches the eye of Tiffany’s best friend, Jocelyn. The girl gives Kendall a sympathetic smile, and Kendall smiles gratefully in return.
Jacián, quiet all this time, but watching, points a finger toward the front of the classroom, where Ms.
Hinkler stands, trying to get the students’ attention. “You still need a tissue?” he asks gruffly. “I’ll get you one.”
“No, I’m okay,” Kendall says. “Thanks.”
Jacián nods as Eli goes back to his seat. Everyone settles in to try to concentrate.
For most of them the only way to get through it is by moving on.
Somehow she makes it through to lunch, when she gets a chance to straighten the curtain and the desks. She can’t stand to go outside to eat lunch in their spot. She can hardly stand to look at Nico’s desk. It’s so empty. So cold.
By afternoon she can no longer concentrate at all, and even Ms. Hinkler is giving her a free pass indefinitely to lay her head down and just try to get through it.
When school is over, there’s nothing Kendall wants more than to play some soccer. Get the whirlwind out of her head. Work out the grief and the anxiety. Think about something else for a change.
She suits up in the locker room, alone again without Marlena, and makes a little wish that Coach has found more players to join the team before they miss another game. Tomorrow is the next one scheduled in Bozeman. She runs out to the field and starts warming up. Counting to thirty for every stretch, counting her steps as she jogs in place. Slowly the others join her. She counts them, just to make sure.
Four seniors. One freshman. Only one sophomore now. Six.
Coach is late, and the team falls into a three-on-three scrimmage naturally, anxiously. Kendall feels naked without Nico there. They had so many plays together. So much nonverbal communication. Years of it. There’s no quick fix when you’re missing that.
Jacián is also looking a little bit lost for plays without Marlena. The two end up on the same team with
Brandon, and they fail miserably, like it’s their first game ever.
They scrimmage for twenty painful minutes before Coach shows up. When he strides onto the field, everybody comes to a standstill. He waves them all in.
“Guys,” he says. Kendall notices the wrinkles by his eyes for the first time. He looks tired. He waits for everybody to quiet, glancing at his clipboard, fingering the whistle around his neck.
“Hey, guys, gather up. It’s good to see you again.” He gives a grim smile. “Wish it were under better circumstances. We’ve lost two of our best at the moment. Update, Jacián?”
“She had a rough night, but she’s tough.” Jacián’s dark skin gleams with sweat in the afternoon sun.
“Doc says she won’t play this season at all, though.” He looks down. “Sorry, guys. She feels bad.”
Kendall looks at the grass.
“And you’ve all figured out by now that we’re down to six. Last year we played with nine and it was tough. This year with eight would have been already approaching impossible. It’s different with one game, but game after game for a whole season. .” Coach pauses. He shakes his head as if he doesn’t want to say what he has to say next.
“I made a dozen phone calls last night, people. And I don’t have a single possibility for new players. Not one. Not even one who hedged or wavered on a maybe. We’ve squeezed a third of our high school for our soccer sports program. That’s a ton more, percentage wise, than most other schools nationwide.
We’re maxed out.” He pauses. Sighs. “We’re done, guys. I’m sorry. This is the end of the road for us.”
The whole team stares at the ground, nobody daring to look up.
“To you seniors who played your last high school game as juniors,” Coach says, “I’m especially sorry.
This isn’t the way to end a career.”
He glances at Jacián and around the group. “Some of you have a lot of talent and have a chance of playing on a college team. I hope you give it a shot. Keep practicing on your own. Don’t give up.”
Coach pulls his baseball cap from his head, smoothes his cropped hair back, and replaces the cap.
“That’s it. I’m sorry. We did the best we could. I’ll be on the grounds for a bit if anybody wants to talk further.” He stands for a minute, almost unsure, and then he turns and walks back toward the school building.
The team stands in silent shock, realizing the season’s over, watching their coach walk away for the last time. For some of them their soccer career is over. It’s hard to swallow that.
A moment later Jacián walks away, not following the coach but going toward the locker room. Kendall watches as he enters, and then exits again with his backpack and his school clothes rolled up under his arm. He walks to the truck.
“Wait,” Kendall says under her breath. He’s her only ride if she doesn’t want to get arrested. What a crazy messed-up world.
She runs to the girls’ locker room and grabs her things. Says a little word of good-bye. This is it for her.
So many good things ending.
She jogs back out, and when she sees that Jacián is still sitting in the truck waiting for her, she slows to a walk. Gets into the truck. They both sit there. Jacián’s face is full of rage, but he doesn’t speak.
“Can you take me to your house, please?” she says in a dull voice. “I told your grandfather I’d come by today to see Marlena.”
Jacián doesn’t acknowledge her. A minute later he starts up the truck and peels out of the dirt lot onto the road, going way too fast. The truck fishtails on the loose gravel. Kendall closes her eyes and grips the door’s armrest. They hit rocket speed before he bottoms out in a few potholes and eases off the gas.
Out of the blue he slams his fist onto the steering wheel. “Fuck!” he yells at the top of his voice.
Kendall startles and slides closer to her door once again.
He slows the truck as he pulls into the ranch’s driveway, and takes a deep breath.
She glances at him. His face is even now. He drives carefully, deliberately.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that,” he says darkly. “The parentals don’t really give a shit that they’ve wrecked my life.”
Kendall regards him. “You know, maybe you should get some help with that. Anger management is a good idea,” she says.
He laughs bitterly. “You think? Now, where would I go for that? The general store, or maybe the Feed and Seed?”
Kendall ignores him. Looks out her window as Hector’s house comes into view. Says quietly, “Why do you have to be such a jerk?”
He pulls the truck into the big barn and doesn’t reply. He goes immediately to the corner of the barn and grabs a mesh net full of soccer balls. Heads out to the makeshift soccer field, not looking back.
Kendall goes to the house and knocks on the door.
Hector opens it wide. “Hello, Miss Kendall! How nice of you to come by again.”
Kendall smiles. “Nice of you to invite me,” she says.