"You can still eat real food." I make my way through the intersection, slowly picking up speed. "But you won't always want to, since the elixir pretty much fills you up and provides all the nutrients you need. But still, in public anyway, it's important to keep up appearances, so you have to at least pretend like you're eating."
"Oh, like you?" She looks at me, brow arced, lip curled into a smirk. "You know, how you sit there at lunch, tearing your sandwich to shreds and crumbling your potato chips into tiny little bits and thinking no one notices? Is that what you've been doing all this time? Keeping up appearances? Cuz Miles and I just thought you had an eating disorder."
I take a deep breath and focus on driving, keeping my speed light, refusing to let her get to me. Like the karma Damen's always going on about-claiming that all of our actions cause a reaction-this is where my action has led me.
Besides, even if I could go back and do it over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd make the exact same choice as before. Because no matter how awkward this moment may be, it's still better than attending her funeral, any day of the week.
"Omigod!" She looks at me, her mouth dropping, eyes going wide, voice all high and squeaky when she says, "I think-I think I heard that!"
My eyes meet hers, and despite the fact that the top is down, despite the fact that the Southern California summer sun is beating straight down on us, my skin goes instantly chilled.
This is not good. Not good at all.
"Your thoughts! You were thinking something about being glad you didn't have to go to my funeral, right? I mean, I actually heard your words in my head. That is so cool!"
I immediately raise my shield, barring all access to my mind, my energy, everything, all of it. More than a little freaked by the fact that she was able to do that when I can't read hers, and I haven't even had a chance to show her how to shield herself yet.
"So you guys weren't kidding, were you? About the whole telepathy thing? You and Damen really do read each other's minds."
I nod, slowly, reluctantly, as she surveys me with eyes that shine brighter than ever. What was once your everyday, basic shade of brown, often hidden by crazy-colored contacts, is now a brilliant swirl of gold, topaz, and bronze-yet another immortality side effect.
"I always knew you guys were weird-but this takes it to a whole new level. And now I can do it too! Jeez, I wish Miles was here."
I close my eyes and shake my head, striving for patience and wondering how many more times I'll have to repeat this, when I brake for a pedestrian and say, "But you can't tell Miles-remember? We've already been over that."
She shrugs, my words glancing right off her, as she twirls a chunk of glossy brown hair around and around her index finger, smiling as a black Bentley pulls up right beside us with some kid from our school behind the wheel.
"Fine. Fine! Seriously, I won't tell him. Chillax already, would ya?" She zeros in on our classmate, smiling and flirting and waving, even going so far as to blow a series of air kisses at him, and then laughing when he does a double take. "The secret's safe. I'm just used to telling him when exciting stuff happens, that's all. It's a habit. I'm sure I'll get over it. But still, you gotta admit, it's pretty dang cool, right? I mean, how'd you react when you first found out? Weren't you totally psyched?"
She looks at me, smiling when she adds, "No pun intended."
I frown, pushing the gas harder than I meant to, the car lurching forward as my mind travels back to that very first day-or, at least the first time Damen tried to break the life-altering news out in the parking lot at school. But I wasn't up for listening then. And I was pretty much as far from excited as it gets. Then, the second time he insisted on explaining our long and tangled past, I was still on the fence. I mean, on the one hand I thought it was pretty cool that we could finally be together after centuries of being kept apart. But on the other, it was a lot to take in. A lot to give up.
And while at first we thought the choice was all mine-that I could continue to drink the elixir and embrace my immortality-or ignore it completely, live out my life, and succumb to my death at some point in the far distant future-now we know better.
Now we know the truth about an immortal's demise.
Now we know about the Shadowland.
The infinite void.
The eternal abyss.
The place where immortals linger-soulless-isolated-for all of eternity.
A place we need to steer clear of.
"Um, hel-lo-earth to Ever?" She laughs.
But I just shrug. It's the only answer I plan to give.
Which only prompts her to lean toward me and say, "Excuse me, but I so don't get you." Her eyes rake over me. "This is like the best day of my entire life and all you want to do is focus on the negatives. I mean, hel-lo? Psychic powers, physical prowess, ageless youth, and beauty-does it mean nothing to you?"
"Haven, it's not all fun and games, it's-" "Yeah, yeah." She rolls her eyes and slams back in her seat, pulling her knees to her chest as she wraps her arms tightly around them. "There are rules-a downside. Roger that, loud and clear." She frowns, gathering her hair to the side and twisting it around and around into a glossy brown coil. "But jeez, don't you ever get tired of it? Of always being so burdened, so weighted down by the world? It's like, you have the best life ever. You're blond, blue-eyed, tall, fit, gifted, oh, and to top it all off, the sexiest guy on the planet just happens to be madly in love with you." She sighs, wondering how I can possibly be so blind to her truth. "I mean, let's face it, you've got the kind of life other people can only dream of-and yet, you make it look like the road to Suck City. And honestly, I'm sorry to say it, but I think that's crazy. Cuz the truth is, I feel fantastic! Electrified! Like a lightning bolt's surging through my body from my head to my toes! And no way am I joining you on your journey to Sad Land. No way am I slinking around campus in fugly hoodies and sunglasses with an iPod practically implanted in my head like you used to do. I mean, at least now I know why you did it, to avoid all the voices and thoughts, right? But still, no fugging way am I living like that. I plan to embrace it-with both arms. I also plan to kick some serious Stacia, Honor, and Craig butt if they so much as bother me or my friends!" She leans forward, elbows on her knees as she narrows her gaze. "When I think of all the crap they put you through and how you just rolled over and took it-" She purses her lips. "I don't get it."
I look at her, knowing I can just lower my shield, think the answer, and she'd hear the words in my head, but knowing it'll resonate a lot more if it's spoken out loud, I say, "I guess because it all came at such a high price-the loss of my family-never getting to cross-" I pause, halting the words from escape. Not quite ready to explain about Summerland, that glorious mystical dimension between the dimensions, or the bridge that takes all mortals to the other side-or at least not just yet anyway. One thing at a time. "It's just that I'll always be here. I'll never get to cross over and see my family again-" I shake my head. "And, well, for me anyway, that feels like a pretty big penalty."
She reaches toward me, her sad puppy dog look displayed on her face, before quickly pulling away. "Oops, sorry! Forgot how you hate to be touched." She crinkles her nose as she tucks a windblown chunk of hair behind her multipierced ear.
"I don't hate to be touched." I shrug. "It's just sometimes-well, it can be pretty revealing, that's all."
"Will it be like that for me too?"
I look at her, having no idea what gifts she has in store.
She's already so far ahead of the curve, on just one bottle of elixir, who knows what a full case will bring?
"I don't know." I shrug. "Some of it happened because I died and went to-" Her eyes narrow, straining to read my thoughts but not getting very far, thanks to the shield that I built.
"Well, let's just say I had a near-death experience. It tends to change things." I pull onto her street.
She looks at me, gaze fixed, intense, fingers idly picking at a small tear in her leggings as she says, "Seems like you're kind of cherry-picking the things you want me to know." She raises her brow, daring me to deny it.
But I don't. I don't do anything but close my eyes and nod.
So tired of lying and covering up all the time. It feels good to admit to a few things for a change.
"Can I ask why?"
I lift my shoulders and take a deep breath, forcing my gaze to meet hers. "It's a lot to take in all at once. Some of it needs to be experienced to understand-while other stuff-well, a lot of it can wait. Though there are still a couple things you need to know."
I park on her drive and fumble through my bag, handing over a small silk pouch, just like the one Damen gave me.
"What's this?" She pulls the strings and digs her finger inside, coming away with a small cluster of colorful stones, held together by thin gold strands, and hanging from a black silk cord.
"It's an amulet." I nod "It's-it's important you wear it all the time. Pretty much every day from now on."
She squints, swinging it back and forth, watching as the stones catch and reflect in the sunlight.
"I have one too." I pull mine out from under my tee, revealing my own cluster of stones.
"How come mine's different?" She glances between them, comparing, contrasting, trying to decide which is better.
"Because no two are the same-we all have different-needs. And wearing these will keep us safe."
She looks at me.