"Okay," Remo said lightly, reaching down and grasping the base of the formstone. He straightened.
The pyramid was lifted off the squatting form of Barry Black, like a witch's hat coming off her head. Remo kept it high.
Barry Black, Junior sat in a lotus position on a tatami mat, his hands loose on his knees and his eyes closed. His brow was furrowed in concentration.
"Come out, come out," Remo called.
Barry Black opened his eyes. He seemed surprised to see Remo.
"You don't look like a Secret Service agent," he said meekly.
"I'm in disguise," Remo told him.
"Show me some ID."
"My hands are full right now," Remo pointed out, indicating with a tilt of his chin the pyramid suspended over Barry Black's graying head by Remo's bare, ramrod-straight arms.
Barry Black looked up. His chipmunk face grew worried. "Don't drop that. It's imported from Ceylon."
"Says 'Made in Mexico' on the base here," Remo said.
"Oh my God!" Barry Black squealed in horror. "I've been hiding in a counterfeit pyramid! I could have been killed!"
Remo set the pyramid down. It cracked in three places, and the apex fell in like the crown of a broken tooth.
"Now that we know the awful truth," Remo said lightly, "it's time to come clean."
"It is?"
"I know all about it."
"What 'it'?"
"Every it," Remo said. "You don't think you can hide this kinda stuff from the Secret Service, do you?"
"Just because I'm bucking the establishment doesn't give you Washington insiders the right to harass me," Barry Black said in an indignant tone.
"Who's harassing? I'm just saying that the jig is up."
Barry Black, Junior folded his arms. "Then its up. So what? You can't prove anything."
"Wanna bet?"
"Until I announce, you can't prove anything."
"Announce what?"
Barry Black, Junior compressed his lips and said, "For all I know you're wired for sound. I will not incriminate myself."
"Okay," Remo told him. "Then by the powers vested in me by the President of the United States, your Secret Service protection is hereby revoked."
Barry Black looked stricken. "It is?"
Remo nodded firmly. "I quit."
And to make sure the point was driven home, Remo gave the formstone pyramid a careless kick. It collapsed in a clatter of rubble.
Barry Black, Junior, seeing this, lost his composure.
"I'll do anything!" he said. "I don't care anymore! The voter anger out there is more than I can stand!"
"The truth," Remo prompted.
"It's true. Just as you suspected. I have a secret scam-I mean, plan. Once I'm elected, I'm switching back."
Remo blinked. "Switching what back?"
"Is that a trick question?" asked Barry Black, Junior.
"Yes, and you'd better answer it truthfully."
"Switching back to the Democrats. I knew I couldn't get elected as a Democrat, so I switched to the Republican party, even though they wouldn't have me on a popsicle stick. Once I'm elected, I'll just switch back."
"That's crazy," Remo said.
"It worked for Buddy Roemer in Louisiana."
"Buddy Roemer had his head handed to him," Remo pointed out. "He got trounced in the primaries."
"That was Louisiana. This is California. People understand creative politics out here."
"And that's it? You're running as a Republican, but you're not?"
"Brilliant, isn't it?"
"In a goofball kind of way, I suppose. What about the attempts on your life? Who's behind that?"
"I have no idea. Probably the Republicans."
"I doubt it," Remo said dryly.
"Then the Democrats. They probably see me as a traitor. "
"I think they're probably happy to be rid of you."
"Then I don't know who's trying to get me," Barry Black snapped.