Walking down the street in a skimpy, every-curve-revealed swimsuit was an attention grabber. Despite misconceptions about sunny California, bikinis before summer are not common. And a busty figure like Leah’s was hard to ignore. When I passed a woman watering her garden, her hose trailed off and sprayed a car tire while her mouth puckered with disapproval.
On the next street, a paunchy, balding man backing his sports car out of a driveway smiled appreciatively. This was such a nice change from the puckered woman that I smiled back. But the smile died fast when we passed a house with a basketball hoop and some college-aged guys, shooting hoops, made obscene hoots and wolf whistles.
“Assholes. Ignore it,” Eli said, glowering at them.
“This is all so weird,” I admitted. “Should I be flattered or insulted?”
“There’s nothing flattering about those guys disrespecting you. I don’t know how Chad puts up with it. Guys are always that way with Leah.”
“It’s okay.” But I wasn’t sure. I walked faster, wrapping my arms around myself. I used to envy the pretty girls who attracted this kind of attention. But being reduced to a body, not a person, was embarrassing. Still, the analytical part of me flared with curiosity, so I asked, “When guys call out to Leah, how does she usually respond?”
“Different ways,” Eli answered. “I’ve seen her flirt back and blow kisses. Once she lifted her top for a quick flash. But another time she freaked out and chased after the guys, swearing she was going to kill them. Chad and I had to pull her back, and a few minutes later she was smiling like nothing had happened.”
So Leah had a dark side? Not a big surprise, considering her suicide attempt. Everything I’d learned about her so far proved she’d been troubled. I wanted to know more, to understand her motivations. It was like I watched from outside this body, studying and learning. For my own survival, I needed to discover Leah’s secrets.
“Only one more block,” Eli said apologetically. “Sorry I don’t have a car to drive you around. Chad would never make you walk anywhere. He’s had some kind of vehicle ever since he got his permit — several cars, and now a motorcycle. He thinks I’m nuts to refuse Dad’s offer of a new car from his dealership.”
“So why did you refuse?”
“I wanted to save up and earn my first car on my own. Not a handout my father chose for me. Besides, I knew the offer was a bribe to join the family business and work for him selling cars — which I’d hate. Still, a car would sure come in handy now.”
“That’s okay. I don’t have my own car, either.”
“Sure you do … oh, that’s Leah’s car.”
“I would have borrowed it if Mr. Montgomery hadn’t taken the keys.”
“Well, I know where Dad keeps his keys, so we can borrow one of his cars. He always has a few extra in our garage. We’re almost to my house.”
“What if Chad’s there?” I asked uneasily.
“Not today. The real Leah complained about his obsession with golf because he wouldn’t miss a lesson even to go out with her.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s into golf.”
Eli tensed. “I thought you didn’t know Chad.”
“I’ve met him, but I don’t really know him,” I said cautiously. Would Eli change his mind about me if he knew it was Chad who’d taken me to the hospital yesterday?
Being with Eli when I was supposed to be Chad’s girlfriend could get seriously awkward. If I was with both of them together, I’d trip over my own lies. Besides, what if Chad wanted to kiss me again? I couldn’t do that, not in front of Eli.
So I had to avoid Chad. Kissing him once had been nice in an experimental kind of way — something to file under the category of New Experiences. In the book Grab Life with Both Hands, there was a list of a hundred things you should try at least once, and kissing someone you didn’t love was in the top twenty — along with climbing a snowy mountain, bungee jumping off a bridge and spending a day at a nudist colony.
But now it was Eli I wanted to grab with both hands. And the idea of kissing someone as randomly as sampling free food at Costco seemed sleazy. When Eli and I kissed — if it ever happened — it would be for all the right reasons.
I glanced up and caught Eli gazing at me with an unfathomable expression. Was he thinking about me like I was thinking about him? Before I worked up the courage to ask, we arrived at his house.
It wasn’t as huge as Leah’s, but it was still about three times the size of my home.
Eli retrieved a small electronic remote, and the garage door lifted up. “This way,” he said, glancing around furtively. We moved past two shadowy cars, but Eli told me that his parents’ cars were gone. “All clear,” he murmured
He led me through a side garage door into the kitchen, then down a hallway. We passed a family room with a huge, flat screen TV, an L-shaped leather sectional, and several recliners arranged around a fireplace. Eli gestured for me to follow him down another hallway.
“I’ll find something you can wear,” he said. “You can’t go to a hospital like that.”
“Thanks, it would be good to get out of this wet suit. But if the same security guard is on duty, I won’t be able to get into the hospital no matter what I’m wearing. ”
“If my sister still lived here, you could borrow something of hers. But Sharayah moved into a dorm and doesn’t even bother to visit anymore.”
“Why not?” I asked, noticing his bitterness.
“She says she’s too busy. But I think she’s just being selfish. Oh well … she’s the one missing out.”
And you miss her, I thought, with sad understanding. Missing the people you loved hurt even more than physical pain. I tried not to think of my own parents and family.
“Wait in my room,” Eli said as he opened a black door painted with glittery stars. “I’ll check Mom’s closet.”
His room had dark green walls, which were the background for movie posters, and a ceiling covered with glazed puzzles of fantasy scenes. Walking underneath the dragons, turreted castles, and flying wizards was like entering a fantasy world.
“Uh … you’re probably wondering about the puzzles,” Eli added self-consciously. “Chad says they’re childish. I guess I should take them down.”
“Don’t. I like them.”
“Really? Thanks. I started putting them together with Sharayah when I was little. She lost interest, but I didn’t.” He gestured for me to sit down. “I’ll be right back.”
Except for the colorful puzzles, Eli’s room was bland: a computer desk, a four-drawer bureau, shelves, an end table. There were no piles of dirty clothes or discarded shoes. His closet was partially open, and I saw shoes stacked in a metal rack. His shirts and pants hung in an orderly way, but cords and a karaoke microphone were tangled in a corner. Math, puzzles, and karaoke — Eli continued to surprise me.
I paced his room, pausing to study photographs arranged on a wall. There was one of a bald baby (Eli?), another of Eli in a soccer uniform posing with a ball, and a formal framed portrait of his family. His father looked exactly like Chad, while Eli had his mother’s kind eyes and lopsided smile. Sharayah was posed in the middle, with dark hair curling above her shoulders, intelligent blue eyes, and a shy smile. She didn’t look wild or irresponsible, but the picture was from a few years ago. I wondered if I’d ever get the chance to meet her.
Lifting my gaze to the ceiling, I played a game of guessing the movies and books that matched the puzzles. Some were super easy, like the hobbit wearing a gold ring, the sword-wielding rider astride a sapphire blue dragon, and the Quidditch players flying on brooms. But I was still trying to guess the dark-haired girl riding an armored polar bear when Eli returned.
“Here.” He tossed me a tie-dyed T-shirt, like something from the seventies, and a pair of flared jeans.
I started to say, “No way are these skinny jeans gonna fit,” but then I remembered who I looked like. No surprise — the jeans not only fit, they were baggy.
“You can turn around now,” I told Eli. “I’m decent.”
“Words I never expected to hear from Leah’s lips,” he teased, then grew serious. “It’s still so freaky how you look like her. We hate each other, so I avoid her.”
“No avoiding allowed,” I teased. “This may be Leah’s body, but she’s not home.”
“Got it … but what’s the deal with Leah?” His forehead puckered. “Where is she?”
“I honestly don’t know. But I’m hoping she’s in my body waiting for me to show up so we can switch back. That why I’m desperate to get to the hospital.”
“I’ll drive you there.”
“Thanks, but it won’t be easy.” I explained to him about Dark Lifers. “The glowing-energy thing should have almost worn off me, but I don’t want to get near that creepy security guard again. He’s probably still guarding the elevators.”
“I’ll distract him.” Eli sat in his computer chair and swiveled to face me. “And if you can’t use the elevators, try the stairs.”
“Good idea — but I’ll still have to get past the nurses and into the room.” I flipped Leah’s long hair over my shoulder as I sighed. “It’ll never work. I always have such high expectations, but then things never turn out like they should. I can’t screw up again or it’s all over.”
“What do you mean?”
“My body will die. It’s so hopeless, like I’m doomed to fail.”
Instead of sympathy, Eli frowned at me. “Are you always this dramatic?”
“Well … not always,” I admitted. “I just get overly emotional sometimes. Sorry. One of Alyce’s nicknames for me is a mix of drama and Amber: Dramber.”
“That’s too drab and very depressing. How about ‘Amberama’?”
“I like that — and I know Alyce would, too.” I sighed. “I miss her so much. And Dustin, too. They could come up with an amazing plan to get me into the hospital.”
“Dustin Cole?”
“You know him?”
Eli nodded. “He’s in my science class. Cool dude but terminally opinionated. He can’t just listen in class, he gets in arguments with the teacher.”
“That’s Dustin all right.” I smiled sadly. “When he has a strong opinion, you’re gonna hear about it or read it online. He goes after anyone abusing power. When he puts his mind to a project, nothing can stop him.”
“Sounds like the guy to help us. Should we visit him?”
“I can’t … not looking like this.”
“Yeah, you’re so ugly,” he joked.
“That’s not what I mean. I know what Leah looks like. But this isn’t me, and Dustin would never understand.”
“Give the guy a chance. I believed you, didn’t I? Show him who you really are and he’ll believe you, too.”
I bit my lip, considering this. As much as I longed to see Dustin, I was terrified about him seeing me. How could I face Dustin with this face? Alyce’s nickname for him was “Dustspicious,” because he distrusted everything until he had documented proof, video, or fingerprints. And it would take more proof than I could offer to convince him I was now residing in Leah Montgomery’s body.
Miserably, I shook my head. “There isn’t time to ask him or anyone else for help. Let’s just figure out how to get into the hospital room. I have no idea how.”
“I do.”
“What?” I gave him a curious look.
“It’s an extreme, risky idea.” Eli tilted his head with a sudden change of expression. “But if you’re up to the challenge, it might just work.”
Then he told me to take off my clothes.