And with equal emotion, buried under a practiced veneer of cold rationality, Anna Chutesov nodded sharply.
Chapter 15
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It was Remo who finally broke the silence. "You're dead," he insisted.
"Obviously not," Anna replied. She shot an uncomfortable glance at the Master of Sinanju.
"Oh, no," Remo snapped. "No. You're not gonna worm out of this one. I saw you dead."
"Impossible," Anna said. "What you should ask yourself is, did you see me die?"
Remo opened his mouth to speak, his finger raised authoritatively. Sudden memory made him hesitate. "You see?" Anna said, nodding. "You remember. You did not see me die, nor could you have, because it is apparent that I did not."
"A situation easily remedied," offered the Master of Sinanju thinly.
"Back off, Chiun," Remo snapped. He was regaining his senses. The shock of seeing Anna Chutesov after so many years was worse than any physical blow. "But Mr. Gordons killed you," he said to Anna, some of the fight draining from him. "He was wearing your face when I kicked his mechanical ass years ago."
"Gordons," Anna nodded. "The android that was programmed by your space agency to take any form that would aid in its survival. He looked like me, you say?"
"He was you by way of Xerox and Lockheed-Martin," Remo said. "But, yeah, he looked like you when we zapped him."
"I suspected as much," Anna said, pleased with her deduction. "It determined that mine was a form that would aid its survival. It hoped to confuse you, a plan that I gather failed, given the fact that you both still live."
"Maybe it didn't fail," Remo said, suddenly cautious. "I took out its central processor." He took a step back.
"You did not," Chiun sniffed. "It was I who slew the mandroid that time."
"No, it was the amusement park that time, Little Father," Remo said. With narrowed eyes he studied Anna.
"I know where it was," Chiun said haughtily. "And we were not amused."
"No matter which one of us whacked the robot that time, we still met up with him twice. since then," Remo pointed out. "He's like the wind-up version of Freddy Krueger. He keeps coming back with a new Roman numeral tacked to his caboose. Who's to say this isn't him again?"
Chiun shook his head. "The machine man is dead," he said firmly.
"Yes, Remo," Anna begged. "Do not complicate this any further. I tried to shoot Gordons. When that had no effect, I determined that there was only one prudent course of action available to me."
"Which was?"
Anna shrugged. "I ran."
"And Gordons didn't follow?" Remo said skeptically.
"You were its enemy, not me," Anna said logically. "After I fled, it must have decided that since we were allies, it would muddy the waters by transforming itself into my likeness." She nodded appreciatively. "A strategy that I would probably take under the same circumstances."
"My point exactly," Remo said. "How do I know you're not wearing a set of tin-plated long johns under that Captain Marvel cape?"
Anna considered but a moment. When she lunged at Remo an instant later, he braced for an attack. He arrested the forward lethal movement of his own hand when-instead of striking him-Anna grabbed him by the shoulders and planted her lips firmly on his.
Remo tensed. After a few seconds he relaxed. A moment later his arms fell limp at his sides. Beside them the Master of Sinanju's wrinkled face tightened into a tangle of disgust.
"Stop that this instant," he snapped. "I endured my fill of this vulgar exhibitionism back when I did not have a heart condition." Though they were harsh, there was a worried undertone to his words.
Anna and Remo unlocked lips. Despite her best efforts, the Russian agent's pale cheeks were flushed.
"Okay, no android kisses like that," Remo admitted.
Embarrassed by her lack of physical control, Anna looked down, brushing wrinkles from her long, dark cloak.
"I am sorry to hear about your heart problem," she muttered to Chiun.
"He doesn't have anything wrong with his heart," Remo said. He was still staring at Anna in disbelief.
"Yes, I do, O heartless one," Chiun disagreed. "And it is aggravated by proximity to aging Russian harlots. Go this instant," he instructed Anna, "lest your presence alone causes me to drop dead on this very street corner."
He pulled open Anna's car door. Remo slapped it shut.
"A clone," Remo announced. "Maybe the Russians grew another you in a test tube."
"Now you are being ridiculous." Anna scowled.
"Yes," Chiun agreed. "Russia has always produced more than sufficient numbers of prostitutes without having to resort to unholy means."
Anna pointedly ignored the old man.
"If I tell you something only I would know, would that satisfy you?" she asked Remo.
"I guess," he replied reluctantly.
Anna leaned in close to him. Her breath was warm on his ear as she spoke in a barely audible whisper. "Stop shouting," Chiun groused.
When Anna finished, this time it was Remo's face that was flushed. His ears burned red.
"Anna," he said, his voice soft with incredulity. Until that moment he hadn't permitted himself to fully believe. He looked at her now with new eyes.
The Russian nodded sharply. She tugged off the big black poncho she'd been wearing since arriving in Barkley that morning, tossing it through the open window of her car.
"It is a wonder the two of you got any work done at all, with all of your groping and grunting," Chiun huffed. He turned a stern eye on his pupil. "Remo, I have always kept to myself my opinions about the way you fritter your life away. Though presented with opportunities to criticize that were more numerous than the stars in the sky, always have I held my tongue. I have allowed you to stumble and bumble and rut like a mad donkey with every debauched hussy who invited you to share her bed. Never did I scold or complain or offer even a single sharp opinion."
Remo gave the old man a heavy-lidded stare. "Don't make me start doubting you're you," he said flatly.
Chiun pointed a long-nailed finger at Anna Chutesov.
"I never liked this woman," the old man insisted. He folded his arms angrily. "There. I have said it. And to speak this truth, I have been forced to break my steadfast and ironclad rule against meddling. Her fault, again."
The Master of Sinanju's words were like white noise. Numbly, Remo turned back to Anna.