Perhaps he could.
Loghain walked quietly across the room, mindful of the fact that there were soldiers sleeping in the hall right outside. They had so few tents left, and no energy remaining to erect them. Most of their men collapsed out of exhaustion wherever they could, trying to get what little sleep they might. Most of them were still hungry. Tomorrow would bring only more of the same.
“Maric, we need to talk,” he said gravely.
Maric looked up from his most recent letter, his eyes red and bleary from fatigue. There was a look in them that Loghain didn’t like, a nervous energy that Maric possessed ever since they had emerged from the Deep Roads and seen just how little of their fighting force had made it back to Gwaren.
Outside the rain continued to fall, lightning occasionally flashing across the night sky. It was a welcome deluge, scouring the air clean of the smoke. Except for the single candle on his desk, Maric had no light to write with. Finding a proper lantern might have been difficult, as the chevaliers had sacked the manor almost completely and left it short of everything, so naturally Maric elected to do without. Really, he should have retired to his bedchambers long ago, and Loghain half wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t demand that Maric get some rest.
But this discussion could not wait any longer.
“Talk?” Maric asked, blinking in confusion.
Loghain sat on the edge of the table, crossing his arms as he considered his words. “About Katriel.”
Maric snorted, waving his hand angrily. “This again?” He picked up his quill to return to his writing. “I thought we settled this in the Deep Roads. I don’t want to discuss it any more.”
Loghain moved the parchment away from Maric. In response, Maric looked up at him in irritation. “Nevertheless, we’re going to,” Loghain stated evenly.
“So it appears.”
“Maric, what are you doing?”
Now the other brow joined the first, and Maric looked surprised. “What am I doing about what?”
Loghain sighed heavily, and rubbed his forehead in agitation. “You love her. I understand that, better than you think. But why? How is it that this woman, who showed up out of nowhere, can have you wrapped around her finger?”
Maric looked vaguely offended. “Is it so wrong that I love her?”
“Do you intend to make her your Queen?”
“Maybe.” Maric looked away, avoiding Loghain’s eyes. “What does it matter, anyhow? Who knows if I’ll ever sit on the throne? Does it always have to be about the future?”
Loghain scowled, and glared at Maric until he reluctantly looked back. The fact that he could barely meet Loghain’s gaze said plenty. “Arl Rendorn is dead.” The words came out reluctantly, but Loghain said them anyway. “Rowan has no reason to keep your betrothal. Are you truly going to let her get away?”
Maric looked down. “She’s already gotten away,” he said gravely. “Do you think I don’t know?” The words hung between them until Maric looked back up, and their eyes met. Of course he knew, Loghain thought bitterly. How could he not?
Loghain put a hand on Maric’s shoulder. “Go after her, Maric.”
Maric angrily jumped up from his chair, sending it skittering back along the floor, and stormed away from Loghain. When he looked back, his face was frustrated and contemptuous. “How can you ask me that?” he demanded. “How can you ask me that?”
“She is your Queen,” Loghain stated firmly. “I have always known that.”
“My Queen,” he said the words distastefully. “How long ago was that decided for us? I don’t know that’s something she even wanted.”
“She still loves you.”
Maric turned away, distressed and shaking his head in exasperation. He turned back and started to say something, but then thought better of it, regret playing across his face. He looked up at Loghain accusingly. An awkward silence developed, neither of them knowing quite what to say next. Lightning flared once again outside in the night sky.
“You want to know why I love Katriel?” Maric spoke with a clipped, furious tone. “She sees me as a man. This gorgeous creature, an elf, she looks at me and she doesn’t see the son of the Rebel Queen. She doesn’t see me as awkward Maric, or the fellow who can’t quite stay in his saddle or hold a sword.”
“You aren’t any of those things any longer, Maric. . . .”
“When I went to her rescue, she didn’t doubt that I could save her. When she came to me in my tent that night, she wanted me. Me.” He held out his hands to Loghain as if pleading with him to understand. “No one . . . no one’s ever looked at me like that. Certainly not Rowan.” He looked pained thinking of her, his eyes drifting off. “I . . . I know she loves me. But when she looks at me, she sees Maric. She sees the boy she grew up with. When Katriel looks at me, she sees a man. She sees a prince.”
Loghain frowned. “A lot of people see that. A lot of women, too.” He snorted. “You must see the way they look at you, Maric. You can’t be that big an idiot.”
“Katriel is special. Have you ever seen someone like her? She’s saved us, she guided us down in the Deep Roads, she’s fought at our side.” Maric pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, shaking his head. “Why can’t you see that? I don’t know that she’ll be my Qnueen, but would that be so wrong?”
“She’s an elf. Do you think your people would accept an elven queen?”
“Maybe they’ll have to.”
“Maric, be serious.”
“I am serious!” Maric stormed about the study, his ire building. “Why is everyone so set on telling me what decisions I have to make? How am I ever going to be a king if I don’t make any of my own decisions?”
“You think this is a kingly decision, do you?”
“Why not?” Maric asked acidly. “Suddenly you’re an expert on being a king?” Then he immediately regretted his words, holding up his hands. “Wait, I didn’t—”
“You’re going to need to make some hard decisions, Maric,” Loghain interrupted, his icy blue eyes narrowing. “Ones you’ve been avoiding. You have an enemy to defeat, and while I may not know much about being a king, I do know what it takes to win a fight. The question is, do you want to win or not?”
Maric said nothing, glaring at Loghain incredulously.
Loghain nodded slowly. “I see.” Part of him didn’t want to continue. He felt his heart constricting, and wondered how it was that he had come to this point. A few years ago he had been content to let his father lead the outlaws. His own decisions didn’t affect anyone outside of himself, and he preferred it that way. Then Maric brought him into this world, and into the rebel army. Now with Arl Rendorn dead, there was no one else; the rebels lived or died based on everything they did. If they didn’t make the right decisions now, the Orlesians won. The usurper won.
“Then there is something you must know,” he said reluctantly.
“Not about Katriel, I hope.”
“I had her followed.” Loghain got up from the table and paced to the far side of the room. He felt uneasy. “She didn’t go to Amaranthine, Maric. She went north. To Denerim.”
Maric’s eyes narrowed. “You had her followed?”
“Not easily. Maric, she went to the palace.”
It took a moment for the implication to sink in. Loghain could see the connections being formed, even as Maric shook his head in denial. “No, it can’t be true,” he protested. “What are you saying?”
“Think about it, Maric,” Loghain insisted. “Who could have destroyed us so completely at West Hill? After all the efforts we made to prevent the nobles here from getting word out, who could have arranged the trap so neatly? Who had your trust?”
“But . . .”
“Why did Arl Byron never mention such a skilled spy? He told us about others, Maric, and then he conveniently died, along with everyone in his command. Anyone who could have confirmed who she was.”
Maric held up a hand, incensed. “Maker’s breath, Loghain! We already went over this. Katriel saved our lives. If she’d wanted to kill me, don’t you think she could have done that?”