When the count reached 1,600, Remo knew the ammunition would be spent in a matter of seconds. And when the silence finally came, Chiun's tiny figure stood knee-deep in the center of five perfectly formed piles of fired ammunition which, Remo knew, contained exactly 1,000 rounds each.
The tenants stared dumbfounded at the frail old Oriental. "He's a friend of yours, maybe?" Mrs. Miller asked sheepishly.
34
"Yes," Remo said. He turned to Chiun. "That was beautiful, Little Father."
"And how many did you catch?" Chiun asked.
"Well, see, I got kind of busy."
"How many?"
Remo remembered the one bullet he had retrieved from the thug in the basement after the man had shot his own.head off. He pulled it out of his pocket. It was gnarled and squashed. Pieces of drying brain tissue clung to it. "Uh, one," Remo said lamely.
"I see." Chiun's tone of voice could have frozen the Gobi Desert.
"I can explain."
"Did I ask for explanations?"
"No, but-"
"Remo, boychik," Mrs. Miller screamed. "Guess who just dropped by with a cake. Sheila!"
'Who?"
"Remember, my niece, such a cook? You want maybe I should introduce you?"
Past Mrs. Miller, Remo could see the hulking frame of a giantess in organdy. And even from where he was standing, he could see the mustache on Sheila's upper lip.
"I'm kind of busy, Mrs. Miller," he said. "But I'll send a friend."
With the woman's protests still within earshot, Remo pushed aside the bodies at the top of the stairwell leading to the basement where he had hidden Archie.
"It's all over, friend," Remo said.
Archie blinked at the sight of Chiun in full Oriental splendor behind Remo.
35
"I am Chiun," he said. "Greetings."
Archie smiled. "That's good, 'cause I thought mebbe I died, and you was God."
Outside, Mrs. Miller's shrieks were still audible. "I just want you to do something for me, Archie," Remo said. "I told Mrs. Miller I'd send a friend up to try some of her cake. Will you go?"
Archie slapped his forehead and groaned. "Do I have to?" he whined.
"Aw, come on. It's just a little cake."
"I've had Delphine's cake."
"Delphine?"
"Delphine Miller."
Remo caught his breath. "As in 'For a good time... '?"
Archie nodded. "Call Delphine. Anything to trap some poor slob into meeting that gorilla she's got for a niece."
Remo laughed. "Okay, I'll do it," Archie said. "For you. But I'm not going to like it."
As Archie shuffled off despairingly toward Mrs. Miller's screeches, the mayor's entourage of policemen, most of them carrying bags and boxes, reappeared. At the sight of the scattered bodies in the courtyard, the contingent rushed the mayor for cover.
"Murder," she screamed. "Right under my own nosel This is an outrage. The publicity will be terrible. Call a moving van immediately. I'm not staying in this pit one second longer."
"Yes, ma'am," one of the policemen said.
"Start some kind of investigation. Do whatever you want. Just get me the hell out of here!"
"Yes, ma'am."
36
"Who are those two men?" The mayor pointed at Remo and Chiun. "What are you doing here?"
"Just having a good time with Delphine," Remo said.
Outside the complex, Chiun looked at the one bullet Remo had saved and tossed it into the street. "Disgraceful," he muttered. "I come all this way to deliver a message to you, and what do I find? One brain-smeared boom dropping. I am shamed."
"What was the message?"
"Are you not interested in my shame?" the old man snapped.
"Sure, Little Father. But maybe you can tell me the message first. Then we'll have lots of time to talk about your shame."
"Disgraceful."
"The message?"
"The message is to come home, Tiome' being this cheap motel." With a sweep, he indicated the Forty-First Street Inn, advertising "Hot Water and Free Telivizion," which Remo guessed was something like television. "The Emperor has come to call."
"Smitty? Why didn't you both just wait for me?"
Chiun looked sideways at Remo. "Have you ever tried to sit alone in a room with Emperor Smith for a half-hour?"