She wasn’t much better at acting than I was. I knew she wanted to talk, but the idea of being away from Sage killed me.
“No worries,” I said. “I can bring the snacks to the guys’ room. We can watch there and let you sleep.”
“Great!” Ben said.
Rayna gaped, and in the space of ten seconds, she and I had a full conversation with only our eyes.
Rayna: “What the hell?”
Me: “I know! But I want to hang out with Sage.”
Rayna: “Are you insane?! You’ll be with him for the rest of your life. I’m only with you until morning!”
I couldn’t fight that one. She was right.
“Actually, I’m pretty tired too,” I said. I even forced a yawn, though judging from Sage’s smirk, it wasn’t terribly convincing.
“You sure?” Ben asked. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel X-rayed.
“Positive. Take some snacks, though. I got dark chocolate M&Ms and Fritos.”
“Sounds like a slumber party!” Rayna said.
“Absolutely,” Sage deadpanned. “Look out, Ben—I do a mean French braid.”
Ben paid no attention. He had moved closer and was looking at me suspiciously, like a dog whose owner comes home after playing with someone else’s pet. I almost thought he was going to smell me.
“G’night,” he said. He had to brush past Sage to get to the door, but he didn’t say a word to him. Sage raised an amused eyebrow to me.
“Good night, ladies,” he said, then turned and followed Ben out. It hurt to see him go, like someone had run an ice cream scoop through my core, but I knew that was melodramatic. I’d see him in the morning. We had our whole lives to be together. Tonight he could spend with Ben.
I laughed out loud, imagining the two of them actually chatting, snacking, and French braiding each other’s hair as they sat cross-legged on the bed.
Then a pillow smacked me in the side of the head.
“‘We can watch there and let you sleep’?” Rayna wailed. “Are you crazy?”
“I know! I’m sorry. I took it back, though, right?”
“You have two seconds to start talking, or I reload.”
Before now, if anyone had told me that I could have a night like tonight and not want to tell Rayna everything, I’d have thought they were crazy. But being with Sage was different. It felt perfectly round and complete. If I said anything about it, I felt like I’d be giving away a giant scoop of it that I couldn’t ever get back.
“It was really nice,” I said. “Thanks.”
Rayna picked up another pillow, then let it drop. She wasn’t happy, but she understood. She also knew I wasn’t thanking her just for asking, but for everything.
“Ready for bed?” she asked. “We have to beat the guys to breakfast so they don’t steal all the cinnamon rolls.”
I loved her like crazy.
We didn’t need to leave for the airport until around eleven in the morning, but I was awake by seven. For the first time in ages, I was completely well rested, but that wasn’t what had me so energized. I’d dreamed about last night with Sage—not some enhanced super version of it, but exactly the way it happened. It was perfect just the way it was.
I woke up aching to be with him, and I was so impatient about it that I couldn’t even lie still. I wondered if I could knock on his door and get him without waking Ben.
Could I use Rayna’s phone and text him? But Ben would be just as likely to hear the phone as Sage.
This was so frustrating! Sage could be awake and feeling exactly the same way, but we had no way of letting each other know.
I needed to get up and do something. A run would be perfect. I changed and slipped down to the tiny fitness room. I pushed out five miles, totally sweating out the worst of my anxious energy.
Rayna was still asleep when I got back to the room. I showered and sneaked down to the breakfast buffet. I hoped Sage might be there waiting for me, but when I didn’t see him, I grabbed a huge tray of cinnamon rolls, a coffee, and a tea, then carried them back to the room. Rayna hadn’t moved. I took a cinnamon roll and waved it under her nose.
“Mmmm,” she said, her eyes still closed. I waved it around some more, totally amused that I was messing with her dreams.
“AAAH!” I screamed as Rayna’s head zipped forward and she chomped down on the roll.
“Excellent!” she said, sitting up. “Thanks!”
“Rayna! You almost bit my finger off!”
“You asked for it.” She took another bite. “Mmmm. Oh my God, this is totally better than sex.” She looked at me pointedly. “Would you agree?”
“Whoa, subtle much?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She knew it was the right thing to say, but her eyes were so clearly dying to know that I laughed out loud. I actually wanted to talk about it now, just to keep it all alive in my head.
I told her everything. Watching her reactions was like watching a silent movie: Her face registered every detail in IMAX-size emotions.
“Am I allowed to have a moment of ‘ew’ for my poor deflowered passenger seat?” she asked when I was finished.
I winced and buried my head in my hands. “Um … yeah.”
“Thank you.” She paused a moment, then grinned and burst out, “Clea, oh my God!!”
“I know. I know.”
“So what happens now?”
“We go to Tokyo, just like we’d planned.”
“What about Ben?” she asked. “Are you going to tell Ben?”
I looked at her like she was crazy.
“Hello! Not like everything you told me, just—are you going to let him know you’re together?”