It sounded so lame in my head—“But he said he loved me”—like the ultimate naive-girl reaction to Mr. He’s Just Not That Into You, but this was different. I wasn’t being dreamy and romantic—I had evidence.
The three of us stayed at the breakfast buffet until we had to grab our bags and leave for the airport. When we walked out the front door, there was Sage, leaning against the outside of the hotel, his hands shoved deep into his front pockets.
He didn’t even look at me.
I wanted to scream. I felt like every cell in my body was reaching out to him, desperate to get his attention, but he wouldn’t even glance my way.
“Hey,” he said, nodding, as he fell into step with us, but he didn’t say it to me. It was like I didn’t exist for him.
“Where have you been?” Rayna asked pointedly.
“Went for a walk,” he said.
I specifically went for the backseat of Rayna’s car, thinking Sage might sit next to me and I could at least find some way to get his attention … but he grabbed the shotgun door.
“Ooh, I was hoping Ben would sit there,” Rayna said. “I always get turned around going to the airport. He gives the best directions.”
She was good.
“My legs are longer,” Sage said. “I’m more comfortable here.”
Wow. He wasn’t even being subtle about it. He was going out of his way to avoid me. He settled into the seat—where he and I were just last night—and stared out the window. Incredible. He wouldn’t even risk meeting my eyes in the mirror.
I felt like I was choking.
Ben looked from me to Sage and back again, and his mouth set into a straight line. I could only imagine what he was thinking. The car was way too small for all the tension inside it—I felt like it was screaming out all my secrets. I needed to get out and breathe.
Finally Rayna pulled up to the airport curb and let us out. I had been concentrating on Sage so hard the whole ride that I was shocked to see Rayna had tears in her eyes. I hugged her tightly, and when we pulled back, we didn’t let go.
“Call me,” she said. “Let me know you’re okay … with everything. I’ll worry, and I’m not good at worrying. I don’t do it a lot.”
I leaned close, touching our foreheads together and looking her straight in the eyes. “I will be fine,” I said. “You will never lose me.”
I didn’t know if I believed it, but it was her line, and I knew she’d appreciate that I was turning it around for her. We hugged again, then she grabbed Ben’s arm and whispered in his ear, “Look out for her, okay?” Ben promised he would. Rayna gave Sage a cold stare. She walked back to her car and drove away.
Inside, none of us spoke as Sage bought our tickets and we went through security, then walked to our gate. Sage sat first. I wondered if he’d actually get up and move away if I tried to sit next to him.
Ben moved close to me and lowered his voice. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “Want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah.”
I wondered if Sage bothered to look at me as we walked away. I wouldn’t turn back and check. It would be too awful if he didn’t even care enough to look. How had everything changed so much in just one night?
Ben waited until we’d put some distance behind us before he spoke.
“I totally respect that you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t have to. At all. I just want to know … did he hurt you?”
“Ben …”
“Just tell me—did he hurt you?” The words scratched out of Ben’s throat. I realized his whole body had tensed, and his hands had balled into fists.
Yes, he did. Horribly. In this life and probably all the others.
“No,” I said. “He didn’t. I’m fine. I promise.”
It was the biggest lie I could possibly ever tell. I sold it hard. I even smiled and squeezed Ben’s hand to prove it was true.
In a long breath, Ben let out all his tension. “Okay, good.”
How had I ever doubted that Ben loved me? It seemed so obvious now. I wondered if things would have been different if I’d known it a year ago, before I ever saw Sage. If I’d spent a year loving Ben, would the pictures of Sage have had the same effect on me? Would I have even noticed him? Would he have even been in the pictures, or would he have dissolved away, our connection broken because I’d found someone else?
I could make that choice now, I realized. I could block out every memory of the seismic activity Sage inspired in me and instead commit to concentrating on everything sweet, easy, and wonderful I felt about Ben. Even if I didn’t love Ben quite in the same way he loved me, I did love him. Wasn’t that enough? Ben would never torture me the way Sage was. He’d be good to me forever. All I’d have to do was kiss him, right now.
I imagined myself doing it. Standing on tiptoe, wrapping my arms around his neck as I tilted my lips to his, and with that single kiss promising to be as faithful to him as he always had been to me, no matter what else happened.
Instead I checked my watch. “We still have lots of time. Want to get some magazines?”
“How about I buy you a coffee? I saw a store with a gingerbread mocha. You love ginger—you’ll go crazy for it.”
“Never going to happen, Ben. Never,” I lilted as I walked off, officially stepping away from the rapids and back into the simple currents of our friendship.
Sage still hadn’t moved by the time we got back to the gate. He didn’t look up, either.
I felt a small flicker of anger leap into my chest.
Yes. That was better. That made me feel stronger.
How dare he? After what we did last night, how the hell dare he?
If he was my soulmate, my soul needed to develop better taste.
I strode toward him and sat next to him. He didn’t get up and leave. He also didn’t look my way.
I wasn’t letting him get away with it anymore.
“Look at me, Sage.”
I saw his jaw muscle working. He didn’t move.
“Into my eyes. Look at me.”
He did. As always, I saw the truth there. His feelings hadn’t changed from last night, but something had.
“Don’t play games with me. I deserve better than that. If you want to leave me, just leave. I don’t need you to find the Elixir or my dad.”