"I'll try. Is the warhead alive?"
"Unfortunately, yes. It couldn't be deactivated on site. The damage to the missile precluded that. Remo, I don't have to tell you how serious this is. You'll have to find a way to bring Chiun back into this."
"I already have, Smitty," Remo said coolly.
"Good," said Smith, moving on to the next order of business. "You must locate the warhead as soon as possible. When you do, contact me immediately."
"Don't you want to know how I convinced Chiun to—"
"No," Smith said, and hung up.
"Those crazy flying saucer people have ripped off a live warhead," Remo informed Chiun.
"Yes, I believe they said something about ridding the world of those insane devices. I do not think that is so crazy."
"That depends on whether one goes off in their faces or not. They've been lucky so far. We've got to find them, and when we do we'll find that UFO, too."
"I will go put on an appropriate kimono," Chiun said.
When he returned, the Master of Sinanju wore a green ceremonial robe on which twin peacocks strutted. "Am I presentable?" he asked.
"Only if they're hiding at a circus," Remo said, but he smiled.
Chiun smiled back. Things were back to normal.
* * *
At Chiun's insistence Remo drove to FOES headquarters, even though he had been there earlier and found nothing.
"Emptiness is always temporary," Chiun pointed out.
The door was ajar when they got there, and sounds came from inside.
"Let's take him, whoever it is," Remo suggested.
"No," Chiun said. "We will wish to follow this person to our goal. Let us be unobtrusive."
"You'll have to leave the building for that," Remo remarked, eyeing the peacocks on Chiun's robe.
But they both melted into the shadows in time to avoid being seen by Pavel Zarnitsa, who was anxious to locate the farm of a certain Ethel Sump.
"Who was he?" Remo asked after he had gone.
"I did not recognize him," Chiun admitted. "He is not one of the group belonging to the blonde woman with the cavernous mouth."
"We'll follow him anyway. He's all we've got."
They let their quarry reach his rented car before they started theirs. Remo followed at a discreet distance, which was not a problem. The leading car gave off a noxious exhaust, which Remo's sensitive nostrils could follow from better than a mile.
"Good. He's going south, Chiun."
But the Master of Sinanju was too engrossed to reply. He was busy solving his Rubik's Cube for what Remo thought must have been the hundredth time.
"Haven't you gotten tired of that thing yet?" he complained.
"One does not tire of new challenges," Chiun sniffed.
"What new challenges?" Remo demanded. "You've already broken the record on that thing twice."
"But I have not solved the puzzle with my eyes closed."
"Hah! And you're not going to, either. I still haven't figured out how you do it, but no one can do it with their eyes closed."
"No?" Chiun inquired. "Watch."
And while Remo watched out of the corner of his eye, Chiun went through an elaborate series of motions like a magician proving that he had nothing hidden up his sleeve. Then he raised the cube from his lap and, tightly closing his eyes, solved the puzzle in a blur of colored squares and flying fingers.
"There. A new way. Perhaps I should go on television."
Remo bit his tongue and concentrated on the road ahead. The thick smell of exhaust fumes made him want to gag. Chiun, immensely pleased with himself, took a nap and promptly began snoring.
"Large hairy dog!"
Chiun snapped awake in mid-snore. "What is wrong, Remo? What is it?"
"Large hairy dog," Remo repeated triumphantly. "I've been trying to remember it for the last twenty minutes. Hopak Kay means 'large hairy dog' in Korean. This alien's name is Large Hairy Dog!"
Chiun's face assumed an embarrassed expression. "Do not make light of another's name. In the culture from which he comes, it is no doubt a proud and worthy name. You should take that into account."
"Since when are you so understanding of other cultures?"
"I have always been that way," Chiun insisted.
"Try to keep that in mind the next time you want me to grow Fu Manchu fingernails."
* * *
Pavel Zarnitsa found the farmhouse that should have belonged to Ethel Sump, drove well past it, and pulled off the road. He quietly assembled his plastic pistol and walked back in the direction of the farm, with its weeds and weatherbeaten barn.
He did not pay any attention to the car that shot past him, and so did not know that it, too, parked not far down the road.
The farm was so run-down, it made Pavel a little sick when he got to it. In Russia, such neglect was practically treasonous. How did they feed people with such waste? Thinking of food made Pavel's mouth water. He would enjoy a taco very much right about now. There was a light in one window, and Pavel went toward it in a sort of crouching run. He waited in the darkness until he was satisfied that his movements had gone unnoticed. And when he peered into the house, there was no sign of people except for the light, which showed a rather unkempt parlor.
Making a circuit of the place, Pavel discovered the van, which told him that someone had to be there. He was about to investigate the barn when a weird thing happened.
The barn began to glow.