"Polarity," said K.C.
"Sounded like porarity. "
"The train is rifted off the guideway, and froats. Rinier synchronous motor provide forward propursion. "
"Boy, this is way over my head," Melvis lamented. "I'm hearin' words I never did hear before."
K.C. slapped him on the top of the head. Melvis grinned. He liked his women playful.
"We go now," the intercom voice said.
At the last moment, before the doors could shut, two familiar figures jumped aboard.
"Well looky, K.C. gal. There's our good buddies."
"Hi, y'all," K.C. said.
"Sorry there ain't a seat," Melvis said. "Everybody seems to be goin' our way."
"We don't mind standing," said Remo.
"Surprised to see you astride this beast, old-timer," Melvis told Chiun.
"Hush," said Chiun. "I am attempting to think like an elephant."
"Is that a fact?"
Melvis noticed Remo seemed to be doing the same thing.
They closed their eyes. And with a whine, the maglev train engaged.
They felt the lift. A forward bump. And crash! the car dropped back into the guideway. Smoke began pouring from floor vents. Somewhere an electrical short began sparking.
"What happened?" K.C. wailed.
"Off train. Off train," the suddenly frantic intercom voice said. "Marfunction. Off train, prease."
They evacuated the car the way salt leaves a shaker.
White-faced Nishitsu technicians scrambled into the car, wielding dry-chemical extinguishers. They began throwing foam and white chemical everywhere in their panic.
"What happened?" K.C. said, aghast. "Why didn't it go?"
Melvis looked over to Remo and Chiun.
Chiun winked. Melvis winked back.
"If I were writing that up, gal, I'd call it an act of God. Pure and simple."
K.C. melted into tears.
Melvis saw this and, taking her by the shoulders, turned her around. He lifted her head up by the chin.
"Gal, you gotta get this maglev stuff out of your pretty head. Maybe maglev will get going someday. Maybe not. But I know one thing. I hanker to hitch my caboose to your train."
"You think we're gauge-compatible?"
"If we ain't, we'll make some changes. I plumb adore you, and that's that. What do you say to a lashup?"
K.C. threw her arms around his neck, crying, "Melvis, when you talk that way, my boiler gets cooking like something unnatural. I am yours forever and ever!"
"K.C., you and me are a-goin' to honeymoon on the Texas beer train, riding over some of the most traction-motorfryin', coupler-knuckle-bustin' track in all of creation."
"Shucks, I ain't never made it on a train before."
"Your first time's always special."
Suddenly remembering they weren't alone, Melvis turned and gathered up a great big grin on his face. "You fellers hear? We're gettin' hitched."
But there was no sign of the pair.
"Well, four's company, anyhow," said Melvis. "Let's go feast our eyes on some real US. of A. locomotives."
On their way out they noticed a ruckus at the front of the maglev engine.
Someone had plunged a sword and a battle-ax into the nose of the engine-right through the four-moon Nishitsu corporate symbol.
Melvis recognized the ebony handle of the sword.
Flashing his NTSB ID card, he bulled his way through and took possession of the sword saying, "Nice of them boys to remember this here tanaka's NTSB evidence."
And tucking it under one arm, he offered K.C. the other and they strode off into the rest of their lives, grinning.
BACK AT FOLCROFT the Master of Sinanju surrendered the Nishitsu ronin's helmet with great ceremony.
"The dread foe is no more, O Emperor."
"Er, thank you," said Smith, gingerly examining the helmet for its expected contents. Finding none, he looked up quizzically.
"Chiun tossed it into a Dumpster," said Remo.
"The honor of my House is restored," Chiun said stiffly.
"Where is the rest of the samurai?" Remo asked.
Chiun flared. "Ronin! I give you the correct term, and you throw it away like the peel of a banana."