“Hi, this is room 218. Can I get a few extra pillows sent up?”
“Why? Were the pillows missing?”
“What? No. I’d just like a few more.”
“There’re four on a bed, and it looks like you have two beds.”
“So?”
“That’s eight pillows.”
“So?”
“So you’re alone. I saw you come in. Alone.”
“What the hell does that matter? You guys rationing out your pillows?”
“I’m just saying that eight pillows is a lot of pillows. Especially for just one person.”
“Jesus, man, I’ve got a sleeping disorder, alright? It’s better for me if I sleep upright.”
“There is an armchair in every room.”
“What? Are you fucking serious?”
“Yes. It’s the thing that looks like an armchair.”
“Don’t get smart with me.”
“You’re making that exceedingly difficult, sir.”
“Look, you son of a bitch, just send up the damn pillows or I’m talking to your manager and getting your ass fired.”
“Fine.”
Thor hung up the phone and looked around the lobby.
“Where’s Paulo?”
“On break,” said his co-worker, Catrina.
“He just took a break.”
“Well, now he took another one.”
“That doesn’t seem right.”
“Just bring the pillows up yourself.”
“It’s demeaning.”
“It’s your job.”
“It’s Paulo’s job.”
“And it’s your job to do his job when he doesn’t.”
“How does that work?”
“Just fucking do it, Thor.”
“This is bullshit,” he muttered as he walked out from behind the service desk.
Thor opened the door to the second floor linen closet and sighed. He grabbed three pillows and started down the hallway, stopping in front of room 218 before sighing again.
Thor raised his hand to knock, but thought better of it. Well, not really “better.”
Thor let two of the pillows fall to the ground and pulled open the pillowcase on the third. He held it up to his ass and farted mightily, pulling the pillowcase closed again as quickly as he could. He rolled the end up tight and repeated the ritual for the other two pillows.
Thor knocked on the door.
“Your pillows, sir.”