“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit”
“Oh my god, why won’t it die? Why won’t it die?!”
Dr. Meola and Dr. Ramos ran through the hallways of the research facility, desperate for an exit and, hopefully, an extension on their lives.
“The door’s locked. The door’s locked!”
Things were not going well.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit”
The roar of the atomic werewolf echoed throughout the building. Dr. Meola wet his pants.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit”
“Alright, OK, alright,” said Dr. Ramos, his back against the locked door and his pants still dry, “we’re scientists, damn it, we can figure a way out of this.”
The wolfman roared again.
“No, no, we are going to die. We are absolutely going to die.”
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit”
The beast’s roar was momentarily interrupted by the sound of a shotgun firing.
The shotgun went off again. And again. This was followed by a short silence and then another, significantly louder roar. Windows rattled. The shotgun fired one more time, and was quickly followed by a large number of high-volume obscenities.
George Saint, the facility’s janitor and appointed executioner, appeared at the end of the hall opposite the doctors.
Well, parts of him anyway.
Dr. Ramos’ pants ceased to be dry.
“I don’t want to die. Oh god, I don’t want to die.”
The escaped werewolf appeared at the end of the hallway, holding various pieces of George Saint. The beast reared up on its hind legs, its shoulders brushing against the ceiling.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit”
The atomic wolfman growled and charged at the doctors.
“Ohgodohgodohgodohfuckohgodfuckshitfuck”
The doctors closed their eyes and clutched each other in a damp and terrified embrace.
“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck”
They could hear the beast racing towards them. There may have been defecating.
“FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK”
There was a loud crash, wood cracking and glass shattering, and then silence. As near as the doctors could diagnose, there had been no further dismemberment. They were also pretty certain they were still breathing, albeit rapidly.
“What the hell?”
The doctors looked around. The door that had been impeding their flight was no longer in existence. There was a large hole and some splinters in its place. Beyond that, nothing but the vast, swampy expanse of the New Jersey Meadowlands.
“You know,” said Dr. Ramos, still clutching Dr. Meola and more than slightly confused as to why he wasn’t in little, itty-bitty chunks, “I really can’t imagine this ending well.”