The diner ran out of pancakes shortly before Thor arrived. It always ran out of pancakes. All things considered, it was a pretty terrible diner. Thor wasn’t sure why he kept going there. Well, other than convenience, laziness, and steel-reinforced walls.
“The guy next to me got pancakes,” said Thor. “And he ordered after me. I think the waitress might be lying to me.”
“Give it a rest, Thor,” said Catrina.
“Excuse me, miss?” he said, flagging down the waitress.
“Christ…”
“Yes?” said the waitress.
“Are you sure you’re out of pancakes?” asked Thor.
“Yes.”
“But that guy got pancakes.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“He’s eating them right now. Look. He’s got maple syrup on his chin.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Thor stared at the woman. The woman stared back. She had a powerful gaze. Thor felt like she was staring right through him. Her eyes flicked red and Thor heard a motorized humming coming from the waitress’s skull. She was staring right through him. That bitch.
“Can you at least look at me while you’re denying me breakfast?”
“No.”
“Seriously, lady? What’d I ever do to you?”
“What haven’t you and your people done to…”
“Really? My people?”
“Three years ago I was revered! I was feared! Back before your kind…”
“Ha!” said Thor, pointing a finger at the waitress. “I’ve only been on this plane of existence for two years! I didn’t do shit to you! Now give me my damn pancakes.”
“No.”
“That does it.”
Thor reached up and plucked the waitress’s left eye out of its socket. There was a mild shock, but nothing the former God of Thunder wasn’t used to. The waitress didn’t even blink.
“What the fuck, sir?”
“You get your eye back when I get my pancakes.”
“Fine.”
The waitress walked away.
“Fuck, man,” said Thor. “Fucking cyborgs. Fucking Oklahoma Treaty. Just because the robots decided they didn’t want you anymore and the humans wouldn’t take you back is no reason to give me shit. Especially about my damn dinner.”
“Wow,” said Catrina. “Now who’s a racist?”
“I was under duress.”
“I’m pretty sure a lack of pancakes doesn’t equal duress.”
“I’m pretty sure it does.”
“You took her damn eye, Thor.”
“I’ll give it back.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“It’s a lot heavier than it looks.”
“She’s an older model.”
“Warm, too.”
“It’s probably radioactive or something,” said Catrina, swatting Thor’s hand. “Stop playing with it.”
“It’s just radiation.”
“Radiation equals bad.”
“They wouldn’t let her near food if she was radioactive.”
“She’s probably got dampers in her head or something,” replied Catrina, swatting his hand again. “Seriously, Thor, stop it. You’re gonna break it.”
The waitress returned with their food.
“Your pancakes, sir.”
“And your eye. As promised.”
The waitress took the eye from Thor’s outstretched hand and placed it into her skull.
“Damn it,” she said, blinking furiously. “It’s all smudged.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Don’t lie about my pancakes.”
“Fuck you.”
“Now you’re only getting a ten percent tip.”