“OK, guys,” said Mark. “There’s no easy way to say this…”
“Sheila’s pregnant!” guessed Thor.
“No.”
“You used to be a woman!”
“No.”
“You’re going to be a woman?”
“Amazingly, Thor, while not actually helping in anything even resembling a useful capacity, you are, in your own unique way, making it easier for me to continue.”
“Glad to help. Now stop running around in circles and tell us!”
“Catrina.”
Catrina smacked Thor upside the head.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” said Catrina.
“As I was saying,” continued Mark, “money was tight around here even before our most recent guests either left or were murdered in our lobby by equally as murdered employees. Between the cleaning bills and replacing the windows and you guys living here for free, we’ve actually lost more money this month than we made all of last year.”
“That doesn’t sound like profit,” said Thor.
“It’s not. It is, in fact, the exact opposite of profit. That’s why, effective three weeks ago, I’m no longer able to pay you.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” said Thor.
“How is that not fair?”
“It’s completely fair, Mark,” said Catrina. “Thor had a lot of sugar earlier and it tends to go straight to the idiot part of his brain.”
“That makes senses, given the proportions.”
“Yeah.”
“Damn right,” said Thor. “I’m… wait, hold on.”
“No,” said Mark, turning back to Catrina. “If he’s going to keep babbling like a moron, at least try and steer him toward figuring out a way to get us more customers. I don’t care how ridiculous his ideas are. I have no problem shooting them down for being stupid.”
“That’s good.”
Catrina turned to Thor, but Thor had walked into the break room. Mark looked at Catrina with a raised eyebrow. Catrina shrugged. Thor returned to the lobby carrying a shovel.
“What happened to the talking, man?” asked Mark. “We decided on talking about your stupid ideas!”
“Talk is for AM radio,” said Thor. “It’s time for action!”
“The AM wavelengths were obliterated before…”
“Don’t even bother trying to figure it out. He’s gone,” said Catrina. “I just hope he doesn’t maim someone.”
“Well, someone poor, anyway.”