Judy and the other, suited scientists hung in the middle of the air, clutching their own throats and gasping out vague apologies.
“And that,” said Chester A. Arthur XVII, “is good enough for me. I believe them.”
“OK, Timmy,” said Phil. “You can… let them down now.”
“Do I have to?” replied the squirrel, speaking telepathically to everyone. “They are scientists, after all.”
“Yes,” said Catrina, “but they’re not your scientists. This is a whole other group of incompetent scientists. While they are clearly, and very, stupid, they’re not exactly evil. They don’t deserve to be choked to death.”
“Are you sure?” asked Thor.
“How is that helpful?”
“I’m just saying, they did nearly kill us.”
“Thor.”
“That thing? With the giant werewolf? Remember?”
Catrina shot Thor a look that would have killed a lesser man. Seriously. Dude would’ve burst into flames right there.
“OK, fine,” replied Thor, rolling his eyes.
Thor knelt before Timmy and put both of his hands on the squirrel’s tiny shoulders. He took a deep breath and looked Timmy squarely in his rodent eyes.
“Timmy,” he said, “please do not kill these scientists. We apparently need them for some reason, maybe. More importantly, though, they are not very good at being scientists. They will undoubtedly find some way to kill themselves in a hilarious fashion shortly.”
Timmy returned Thor’s gaze, hesitation apparent in his eyes.
“Trust me,” said Thor.
Timmy took a deep breath.
“OK,” replied the caped super-squirrel, releasing the scientists from his telekinetic stranglehold. They fell to the ground with a variety of thuds.
“Alright, well, with that out of the way, I guess it’s time to start talking renegade Aztec gods,” said Queen Victoria XXX.
“Makes sense,” said Chester A. Arthur XVII. “What do you know, Phil?”
“You guys alright?” asked William H. Taft XLII, offering his hand to Judy.
“Oh my god,” said Judy. “I am so turned on.”
“Wait, what?”
“Well, I only met him for the first time… a couple weeks ago,” said Phil.
Judy turned to her scientist companions saying, “Someone needs to do me, right the fuck now.”
She grabbed one by the arm and began pulling him toward the helicopter.
“You, let’s go.”
“He was… different then than he is now,” continued the philosopher.
Judy shoved the scientist into the helicopter, climbed in on top of him, and slid the door shut.
“The wings are new, for one.”
“Seriously, guys,” said William H. Taft XLII, “did nobody else just see that?”
“The tail, as well.”
“It just seems really inappropriate is all,” continued the former president, scratching the back of his head. “And, you know, kinda creepy.”