“You fucking cocksucker,” said Queen Victoria XXX.
“Yeah, that’ll help, honey,” replied Quetzalcoatl, still leaning over the trio. “Maybe you should try to think of something a little more family-friendly for your epitaph.”
Queen Victoria XXX, her legs still pinned beneath Quetzalcoatl’s tail, pulled the cement spike out of her gut.
"OK, um,” said Quetzalcoatl, his menacing glare momentarily replaced by a look of confusion, “I wasn’t aware anyone else here had any special powers."
"I don’t,” replied Queen Victoria XXX. “I’m bleeding to death and it hurts like a motherfucking bitch. But, powers or no…”
“…she is a vessel of fury and rage the likes of which you have never seen,” continued Chester A. Arthur XVII, with far too smug a look on his face for someone with a giant snake resting on his chest.
Queen Victoria XXX stabbed Quetzalcoatl in the eye with the sidewalk splinter, bringing her arm around with enough force to shove the spike through the back of his skull.
Quetzalcoatl screamed and reeled backward, freeing the president, the queen, and the girl.
"Holy… FUCK, that fucking hurts,” said Quetzalcoatl, absently grabbing at the concrete shard. “I really hope you don’t have the HIV."
“Me too,” said Thor, smacking Quetzalcoatl upside the head with a sledgehammer.
“Fucking fuck, man!” exclaimed Quetzalcoatl. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“Convention let out early. Steve the electrician says ‘hi.’”
Thor swung the sledgehammer upward, catching Quetzalcoatl by the chin and knocking him backward.
“Thor!” said Catrina, running up and embracing him.
“Catrina,” said Thor. “How we doing?”
“Vicky’s bleeding to death and Chester’s not quite as pretty as he was, oh, and Timmy’s an astronaut now, but, otherwise pretty good.”
“Your definition of good leaves a lot to be desired,” said Quetzalcoatl, regaining his ground and taking a swing at Thor.
Thor shielded Catrina and ducked out of the way. Chester A. Arthur XVII hit Quetzalcoatl across the face with a slab of sidewalk, sending him reeling backward.
“Nobody gives a shit what you have to say,” said Chester A. Arthur XVII, bringing the piece of sidewalk down over Quetzalcoatl’s head, “bitch.”
“Hey, that is kind of fun,” he added.
“Told you,” said Thor.