Eirik Gumeny is not ashamed to admit that he’s from New Jersey. He started writing at the tender age of five, when someone told him he had to, probably. He is the proud owner of an English degree from Montclair State University, which has opened many doors for him. Mostly at call centers. He’s also been employed as an ice cream counter jockey, a video store clerk, a copy writer for dollar bin kung-fu flicks, and actually once attempted to sell completely ephemeral credit card processing contracts to bodegas in a predominately Spanish neighborhood despite the fact that he does not speak Spanish. He was told it wasn’t a pyramid scheme, but he has his doubts.
Eirik has often been told his work is most likely influenced by drugs, an excessive intake of coffee, or a lack of sleep, but he’d prefer to blame Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, and Warren Zevon. Eirik’s stories and poems have been published in a number of online literary journals, including “Boy Meets Girl” at Thieves Jargon, “The Astrophysicist” at the late Saucyvox, “Storybook Romance” at the equally as late Green Muse, “Caffeine” and “Hector & Sheila & Kevin” at Defenestration, “Bagel” at Monkeybicycle, and “Last Exit in New Jersey” at Mud Luscious, among others.
Eirik has never been awarded a Pushcart, nor has he been nominated for one. He’s also never won a Nobel Prize, a Pulitzer, an Olympic medal, or the NFC East. He did win a camera at work once, though. When Eirik is not writing or daydreaming about being on his book tour with his girlfriend, he’s probably asleep and actually dreaming about it. Or in his living room playing video games.
For more of Eirik’s writing go to your computer and navigate your way to http://egumeny.blogspot.com. To offer him huge sums of money as an advance on his next novel, email him at eirik.gumeny@gmail.com.