“Go to sleep, Matilda,” I murmured in groggy voice.
I was awake enough where I could feel the movement. It wasn’t actually a rustling that had woken me, because the movement was almost soundless. But there was something - almost like an electric breeze - moving about the room. When I realized that someone was in the room with me, I tried not to let on that I was awake and just listen to what was happening. There was silence, and then this shadowy movement that I couldn’t explain.
“Matilda?” I whispered hoarsely.
By now, I knew it wasn’t her, but I wanted to play along with the game. Someone was in my room, and I wanted to alert Jack without letting anyone know I was alerting him. My heart had started panic, but I wasn’t sure if he would pick up on that if he was asleep.
“Mattie?” I repeated.
This time, I sat up, my eyes searching the darkness. I hoped to see her massive white shape lurking somewhere, but it was too dark for me to really make out anything. The night light from the bathroom cast very little light, but when it moved this time, I saw a glimpse of a shadow rush in front of it.
Before I could yell for anyone, the bed moved, and whoever it was had gotten on the bed with me. I could scream, but by the time anyone heard, it would be too late for them to do anything. So I just sat in the darkness and waited for whatever came next.
“Jeez, Alice, settle down,” a voice chuckled in the dark, only a few inches from my face. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.”
“What? Who’s there?” I demanded nervously, feeling around in the dark like a blind person. The voice sounded familiar and he seemed to know who I was, but I couldn’t place it, so it did little ease my fears.
“Shame on you,” he said with a mock disapproval. “You don’t even recognize your own brother?”
“Milo?” I asked incredulously, and then scrambled to turn on the bedside lamp.
As soon as I saw him, I gasped. He looked like my brother, but not. The baby fat had been chiseled away to cheek bones and a strong jaw. His skin, while it had never been scarred by acne, was even smoother and more flawless. The changed had aged him, too, but in a good way.
He no longer looked like a boy teetering on puberty but rather a man in his late teens who had never struggled through anything. His massive, beautiful brown eyes had some gotten even more amazing, but his crooked, unsure grin remained the same.
“Milo?” I repeated, trying to decipher how my little brother had become this rather stunning young man before me.
“The one and only,” Milo tried to keep his tone playful, but I knew my reaction made him nervous.
His voice still sounded much like his own, but it was deeper and more velvet. It lacked the squeaky insecure quality that had once been so distinctly him.
Before I could think to stop myself, I reached out and touched his face. His skin felt soft and temperate, but before I could register anything more, something flicked across his face and he jumped back from my touch.
“What? Did I do something?”
“I’m just not strong enough yet.” Milo shook his head and back closer to the wall, but stayed in my room, bathed in the soft lamp glow that I’m sure didn’t do his new features justice.
“For what?” I asked quizzically.
“You’re the first… human I’ve been around.” His face contorted, looking confused and torn. “I could smell you when I was in my room, and I thought I had a handle on that. But I wasn’t prepared for how your pulse would feel on my skin…” He looked guilty at finding me tasty, so I hurried to erase it.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve known better. I’m always doing the same things to Jack, and you think I would’ve learned by now.” I forced a smile at him, but his expression only got more sour. “What?”
“So… you know?” Milo asked quietly, and I wasn’t sure how to answer it.
“You mean… that they’re vampires?” I replied carefully.
“I knew that you must.” He looked passed me, staring into the darkness as he tried to figure things out.
“As soon as I could start to understand what was happening, and Mae started to explain to me…
She told me that you knew, and I knew that you must. But still, I guess I didn’t really believe until I heard you say it.”
“Why wouldn’t you believe it?” I furrowed my brow, trying to understand what he was getting at. If he could believe that he was becoming a vampire, how would it be a stretch to believe that I had known about them?
“How could you not tell me about this?” Milo sounded more angry and hurt that I had ever heard him before, and I flinched. At first, I didn’t understand, but then I remembered what Jack had said and what I had just read in Peter’s book.
When vampires first turn, all their emotions are right at the surface. Everything is so much intense then it used to be before, making it harder to control. Admittedly, self-control had always been Milo’s strong suit, but that’s probably how he was able to even be in the same room with me after being so newly turned. It had been less than 72-hours since he drank Jack’s blood, and Ezra had claimed the change would take several days. Everything was really moving so quickly.
“I-I didn’t know how to tell you,” I stuttered. “I even tried to once. But… you would’ve just thought I was crazy.”
“You should’ve tried harder!” Milo snapped, his voice harder than I had even known it was capable of being.
I stared at my brother, at the new exquisite hard contours of his face, and I couldn’t distinguish how I felt about him. There was an immense sense of relief and love, but there was this feeling that I didn’t really recognize the boy - man, really - who was glowering at me from the shadows of the room. I imagined this was how the dad felt when that creepy little boy came back from the Pet Semetary. As soon as the thought popped in my head, it was followed by the thick Maine drawl saying, “Sometimes, dead is better,” but I did my best to stifle the chill running over me.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized earnestly. “I should’ve. You’re right. But believe me, it was so hard to keep this all from you. I never wanted to keep anything from you. I just…” I sighed and shook my head. “It was a hard decision. Just like this one.”
“What one?” Milo’s eyes flashed with confusion, and I wondered nervously how much Mae had told him. Maybe he didn’t know that it had been my choice to turn him, and maybe he would hate me for it.
“The one… to turn you,” I swallowed hard and studied his face for his reaction. His eyes were hard, then dropped from mine, and he softened. “Did they tell you what happened?”
“Jack did,” Milo nodded grimly. “He said it was his fault, and I was dying. So you asked him to turn me. To save me.”
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Tears stung my eyes, but I didn’t know why. Milo was alive and he was fine, or something close to it, but just remembering how close I had come to losing him made me want to sob.
“I’m not angry with you,” Milo absolved me gently. “I’m sure I would’ve done the same thing in your situation. I just wish there had been some kind of heads up about what was going on around here.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, blinking back tears.
Milo shifted against the wall, and I noticed for the first time the way his clothes fit against his body. Even in that simple movement, I could see the way the muscles moved subtly underneath his shirt. He had never been fat before, but he’d never been trim either. Soft would be a good way to describe him, but now he looked a like jungle cat recoiled before an attack.
“You’re a vampire,” I announced breathlessly. To know something is entirely different than to see it so obviously in front of me. Everything about him had changed, and only time could tell how much of him was still my brother.
“I am,” Milo agreed with a wry smile.
“How do you feel?”
“Pretty amazing actually.” His smile widened and his stance broadened, making him look proud of this achievement. “At first, it hurt like hell and I was sure I was going to die. Or at least I hoped I would. But now… it feels better than I’ve ever felt.”
“Really?” I asked hopefully.
Naturally, I wanted him to feel good and be happy. But more than that, I wanted to know what was in store for me. With him turning, my own change had to be in the very near future. There was nothing holding me back anymore. I had been waiting through his turn to make sure that he got through it okay, and he had. So it was my turn next.
“Yeah.” Milo nodded, but his smile faltered. “Well, except for the hunger. It’s hard to get used to, but eating… Wow. There aren’t even words for it.”
“So… you’re eating?” I felt cautious, even though I knew the answer. It was still too weird of a thought to completely reconcile, though.