“Its after ten on a Tuesday. How much do you really think is open?” I asked dryly.
“We’ll find something,” Mae insisted. “We’ll make do.”
We made do with a Wal-Mart that was open 24-hours, a Denny’s where she watched me eat, and a Blockbuster. Then we went back to my apartment, even though the whole point of the evening was supposed to be to get me out of the house. Mae had never been inside before, but she ooed and awed over all our secondhand junk like it was astounding. Then she painted my nails and played with my hair while we watched Silence of the Lambs. It was one of my favorite movies because it was so terrible, and I felt better knowing that I was forcing her to watch something so terrible. And despite my best attempts to hate everything about the night, she did manage to cheer me up a little bit. Of course, that went away completely when she left, when I was alone again.
I wanted to run out and throw my arms around him. I couldn’t get out to his car fast enough.
When Jack texted me the next day and asked to hang out with me, I hated myself for getting so excited about it. Even though I felt rather ridiculous, I couldn’t help but spend an hour preening. If the Titanic were sinking, I’d be making sure the deck chairs all looked lovely.
I did really miss him, but I had spent the last few days being completely bored out of my mind and spending every waking moment imagining the worst case scenarios of my life. (Hint: They all ended with me alone knitting afghans and dying alone, where my corpse was eating by my hundreds of pet cats.) I like to jump to conclusions. I can’t help it, or even if I can, I like doing it too much to stop.
When I finally did rush outside, Jack was sitting in the Jetta, grinning broadly. Pat Benetar, of all things, was blasted loudly at me when I opened the door. He turned it down when I hopped in, but I barely even cared.
Nobody else was in the car. We were alone together for the first time in what felt like forever.
There was nobody to growl at me or to chastise us for being too close. I could just talk to him and be with him and not worry about anything.
“Hey,” Jack smiled.
“I don’t wanna go to your house,” I announced quickly.
“Why not?” He cocked an eyebrow, but he looked intrigued and amused.
“Because.” I pulled my knee up to my chest and just looked at him, refusing to elaborate on my answer.
I expected him to drive away or press me further, but he just looked at me for a moment and nodded.
“Okay,” he smirked. “Where do you wanna go?”
“I don’t care where. Just drive.”
“You got it.” His eyes glinted mischievously and he sped away form my apartment.
The buildings were a blur of lights beside us, and he had this weird ability to hit every green light and weave through openings in traffic that weren’t even there. Jack had this insane driver’s intuition, and I didn’t understand how he ever managed to roll the Jeep before. He must’ve been really distracted by me, and I wondered dully if I still had the same effect on him.
“So… how’s life with Milo?” I asked cautiously. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know, but I definitely needed to know. Partially because I wanted to make sure that Milo was doing okay, but also because I wanted to hear how Jack felt about everything.
“Good,” Jack shrugged noncommittally. “I like your brother. I like having him around.”
“Mmm,” I murmured. He hadn’t really given away anything, so neither was I.
“He’s already much better. Pretty soon you’ll be able to be around all the time. And I’m sure it will be all the time. He really misses you too.” Jack looked over to see if I believed him, and I wasn’t sure that I did. “He talks about you a lot. He just isn’t always thrilled when I talk about you.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow curiously. “You guys talk about me? What do you say?”
“I don’t know,” Jack laughed. As soon as the sound filled the car, I realized how long it had been since I heard that sound. My heart flipped happily, and I settled deeper into the seat. “Nothing bad, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I just wonder what you say about me when I’m not around,” I teased.
“What do you say about me when I’m not around?” Jack countered, grinning happily.
“Hasn’t Milo told you?” I was only half-joking. I figured that by now, Milo had spilled everything, and I wanted to get a read on what effect that had on Jack.
“Yeah, he has, because apparently, you’ve only said like three things about me. All you ever tell him is that you’re not interested in me.” He tried to play it off with a smile, but I saw the hurt behind his eyes. “So yeah. I got all the juicy details.”
“That’s not all I say.” But that really was about all I said to Milo. A lot of times I felt like my feelings were too obvious, and my best way of dealing with that was just to say the exact opposite of what I felt.
“So then what do you say?” Jack pressed, looking at me from the corner of his eyes.
“That you’re the most dashing, handsome stranger I’ve ever met,” I said with a dramatic Southern drawl and batted my eyes at him. He laughed again, and I smiled at him. “No, I don’t know. I try not say anything about you.”
“Why not?” Jack asked.
“Cause.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to talk about you.”
“How is it hard?” Jack furrowed his brow when he turned to me.
“Well… what am I supposed to say about you?” I squirmed uncomfortably.
“You’re supposed to say whatever you want,” he pointed out reasonably.
“Things are a little too complicated for me to say what I want,” I explained finally.
Truthfully, I didn’t know exactly what I felt for Jack because I wouldn’t let myself think about it. To quantify it as something, that would put expectations and shatter things. I liked being around him and I missed him when he wasn’t there, and that was as far as I was willing to admit.
“Fair enough.” Jack sighed and ran a hand through his sandy hair.
He turned to me, looking like he might say more, but then his phone began to ring in his pocket.
Cursing softly under his breath, he reluctantly pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open.
“Hello?” Jack answered. “Yeah. Yeah…. I’m with her now…. Yeah… Yes… Okay… Yes…. I get it… I got it…. No. I’m fine….Yep… Okay…. Okay… Bye.” He sighed heavily and then shoved his phone in his pocket.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“We’re going to my house,” Jack replied simply.
“What? Why? Who was that?” Reflexively, I had tensed up at the thought of going to his house. It suddenly felt like so much drama.
“Milo.” He pursed his lips, debating on telling me more. “He wants to see you.”
“Does he really? Or is he just against he idea of us being alone together in a car?”
“Both, probably,” Jack replied honestly.
“You know, I’m a little offended actually,” I said, watching out the window as the scenery changed as Jack switched directions towards his house. “Peter never got this jealous over the time we spent together.”