"Excuse me," Remo said. "I didn't see you." He started to walk around her.
Shifting, she got in his way again. "You look bored," she said.
"That's me," admitted Remo.
She looked him dead in the eye. "Fine. Marry me. "
Remo said, "What?"
She waved a ticket. "Look, I just won the lottery. Mass Millions."
"Good for you."
"And I quit my job."
"Congratulations."
"But I'm bored."
"It's a long line," said Remo, "and I was ahead of you."
She got in his way and fixed him with her striking eyes, which were growing steely. "Did you hear anything I just said?" she demanded.
"I have stuff on my mind."
"I just won seven million dollars and I'm free as a bird." She smiled. "And you look like my kind of bird."
"Sorry. I fly alone."
"Don't tell me I'm not your type. I know different."
Remo decided she was crazy and turned on his heel, walking the other way. She followed along, growing more insistent. She had the slightly husky voice of a former smoker. That was a strike against her in Remo's eyes. He didn't care for smokers.
"I don't have a type," said Remo, wondering if the shark effect was wearing off. He found if he ate shark every other day, it quenched his powerful pheromones.
"Look, I'm not kidding about winning the lottery. It happened last week. See, this is the winning ticket. I'm afraid to turn it in. So I come here and try to think. Aren't you even slightly impressed?"
"I have my own problems," said Remo.
"Look, if you won't marry me, how about a date?"
Remo blinked. He stopped in his tracks. A cunning gleam grew in his deep-set dark eyes.
"I gotta take you home to meet someone first," he said quickly.
Her voice took on an edge. "If it's your wife, I withdraw the offer."
"No. Come on."
They walked back to Castle Sinanju. She told Remo her name was Jean and she had six kids and one grandson. "No two alike," she added.
"You don't look that old," he said.
"I'm not. I was just testing your nerve. How is it?"
"Holding up."
"You're doing better than most guys I meet. For some reason, guys are intimidated by me. Puts a big damper on my love life." Her smile turned sly. "By the way, how's yours?"
"Ever hear of astral sex?"
Her eyes bloomed. "You can do astral sex? I thought I was the only one who knew that stuff."
"I just read about it," Remo lied. "What's it like?"
"You lie in separate beds, sometimes separate homes. You never touch in the physical sense. But your souls mate."
"Is it good?"
"It's transcendent. Did I ask you your name?"
"Remo."
"I'm half-Italian, so we should get along just fine. Assuming you believe in prenuptial agreements."
"I wouldn't ask the woman I was going to marry to sign one," said Remo.
"You got it backward. I'm the one who hit Mass Millions."
"Oh. Right."
"Anyone ever tell you that you're a little slow sometimes, Remo?"
Remo nodded. "You'll meet him."
Grandma Mulberry met them at the door, took one look at Jean and said, "Do not fall for his act. He is a faggot."
Jean burst out laughing. "She's cute."
"She's not the one I want you to meet," Remo growled.
"Oh, I think she was."
They found Chiun in the bell-tower meditation room. The Master of Sinanju looked rested and bright of eye on his reed mat. Without skipping a beat, he said to Jean, "You are very beautiful."
"Thank you."