cards with another player.
and in one moment she found herself with a handful of completely different cards. It wasn't Jack's turn, or hers -- he just felt like playing it.
In a moment, though, she saw why. Douglas had landed on a square whose pigpath -- the line connecting it to the pigpen -- had only three dots on it. Jack played one of her former Release-the-Pigs cards, and they all whooped and hollered and lined up the baby pigs at the head of the pigpath, with Momma Pig last in line.
"This is pointless," said Douglas. "I'm still primordial ooze. I can't regress any farther than that."
"I want you in hell," said Jack.
"But I won't go to hell. I don't have any karma at all yet."
"You personally released the pigs on me twice last time. Tonight you're never going to be reincarnated."
"Grudge-holding is beneath you, Jack."
Jack burst into a country-music song.
If I can't hold me a woman, Then a grudge will have to do. The woman I'd hold against myself, But the grudge I'll hold against you.
Rainie had never heard the song before, so she figured he had made it up. The tune was actually pretty good.
The pigs were about to start charging down the pigpath when Jack played her former card adding two pigs to the pen. Now there were even more pigs on the path, and since they leapfrogged instead of taking turns, the pigs were bound to reach Douglas. Each pig that got to him would cost him two life-pennies, except for Momma, who would cost him four. Since everybody started with only ten life-pennies, he was doomed.
"I need the lobster dice," said Douglas.
"You need an angel from heaven," said Jack.
Tom handed Jack the two bad-karma cards he got for playing evil power cards.
"Oh, these are bad," sad Jack.
"Only what you deserve," said Douglas.
"Well, before we sic the pigs on you, Dougie, let's try this." Whereupon Jack laid down another of Rainie's old cards, the one that allowed him to swap karma with Douglas. Since Douglas had none and Jack had two bad karma cards, it meant that when Douglas died his karmic balance would be negative and he'd go to hell.
"You are one seriously evil dude tonight, Jack," said Raymond. "I like your style. Let's see what happens with this one." He laid down an evil power card that said,
"ANGRY OINKERS"
doubles the damage of
all pigs on a given pig
attack
"Hey, how dead can I get?" asked Douglas.
"We won't find out on this turn," said Grandpa. He laid down a good power card that said,
"FAIR IS FAIR" Causes the person who released the pigs to take the damage from a pig attack (only when pigs are released on someone else)
"Son of a gun!" shouted Jack. "You can't do this to me!"
"Can so."
"I'm not even on a pigpath!" It was true. Jack's playing piece -- the plastic triceratops -- was on a square with no path connecting it to the pigpen.
"Doesn't matter," said Tom. "You're taking the damage from the attack on Douglas, so the pigs will still follow his pigpath."
"And since you just played that evil power on Douglas switching your karma, you get a new evil power card of your very own," said Grandpa. "So if you die, you'll go to hell."
The pigs started down the path. As each baby pig advanced to a new dot on the path, Jack got to roll one die. If he got a one or a two, the pig was "popped" and returned to the pen. He wasn't lucky -- he only popped two pigs, so five reached him and he was dead before Momma could even start her run down the path.
Just before the last pig reached him, though, he played the other Release-the-Pigs card that he had got from Rainie, and since this one was "for the good of the whole" he got a good karma card for it. "Ha!" he said. "It's a ten and my bad karma card was only a four. I'll go to heaven, and Douglas still has to face the pigs!"
So once again the pigs were lined up and started down the path. Rainie looked again at the cards she had gotten from Jack. One of them said,
"PERHAPS I CAN HELP" Allows you to heal another player of all damage. (Will not work after they have been killed).
She waited until Douglas was down to his last two life-pennies, and played the card.
"You are my hero," he said.
"You're just too young to die," said Rainie.
"There's still some more pigs," Jack pointed out.
"Not enough to kill me," said Douglas.
"But," said Tom, "what if Momma rides again!" He slapped down an evil power card that said,
"MOMMA RIDES AGAIN" causes the momma pig to come down the path twice.
"This has gone too far!" cried Cecil. "I say Momma is drunk as a skunk." He laid down a good power called "SOUSED SOW" that was supposed to keep Momma home.
"I hate do-gooders," said Raymond. He laid down an evil power card that said,
"I HATE DO-GOODERS" Allows you to cancel a Good power before it takes effect.
"So Momma rides twice," said Tom. "That'll be eight life-pennies if she makes it both times, and that plus the two babies and you could die, Douglas."
"Good to know," said Douglas. "Is this how you talk to your patients?"
"I'm a dermatologist," said Tom. "My patients don't die, they just put bags over their heads."
"Let's make sure of this," said Raymond, laying down another card.