"How fast they fall from grace once the truth leaks out," Remo said wryly.
The Master of Sinanju frowned primly and spoke on.
"Now in Ceylon lived a people called the Tamils. Although they were not Indians, they were Hindus. And among them lived a clutch of females known as the Spider Divas, who lived without men, taking mates but once in their lives, and then only to reproduce, as is proper. After that, they ate them."
"They ate their husbands?" Remo exclaimed.
"The lucky ones, yes."
"What about the unlucky ones?"
"Slaves. For the Spider Divas were said to possess charms beyond those of mortal woman. No one knew what these were. They were temptresses and were said to converse with spiders, thus impelling them to do their deadly bidding. For the Spider Divas, having ill luck with their menfolk, made their way through the world by hiring themselves out as assassins. This is a terrible thing, Remo."
"Competition always is, to the one being competed against."
"I meant that women would take on honorable work rightly belonging to men. In Korea, women stand on pedestals of honor."
"So they don't catch on how unimportant they are. Let's get back to the Spider Divas."
"These base females stole the very food from the mouths of the babes of Sinanju, whom my ancestors fed."
"Let's just skip the part about the starving babies," Remo said impatiently. "What happened next?"
"Now in these days, the Spider Divas were in decline. They had suffered greatly whenever they challenged the hand of Sinanju. Their numbers were few. And they were having difficulty finding willing men."
"No kidding," Remo said dryly.
"People had begun to talk."
"Imagine."
Chiun leaned forward to whisper, "It is rumored, Remo, they had had been reduced to harlotry."
"No!"
Chiun nodded wisely. "At this time, it was known that only three Spider Divas still lived in seclusion. But when they made their appearance in the city of Ahmadnagar, where the Mogul Emperor held forth, persecuting his subjects prudently and with wisdom, all knew of their purpose. For they were known for their great dark eyes, and the bright harlot colors of their saris.
"Hearing this, Master Sambari sought out the Spider Divas. The first, he killed in her sleep. The second he surprised when the harlot was dallying with one of the dandy soldiers of the Mogul Emperor, for knowing their lord was protected by the House of Sinanju, they had grown soft in their ways. Sambari dispatched both with a single blow and jellied their loins as they copulated, unwitting."
"At least they died happy," said Remo.
Chiun made a face, then went on.
"But the third Spider Diva, whose name comes down to us as Padmini, proved elusive. Master Sambari hunted her high and low, finally learning that she had slipped out of the city, in rightful fear of her life."
The Master of Sinanju closed his eyes and began rocking to and fro, as if reliving the events of centuries gone by.
"Sambari followed her, and in a forest whose name is unimportant, otherwise he would have mentioned it in his scrolls, Sambari came upon Padmini, the last Spider Diva.
"She slept by the firelight, her perfect face peaceful as that of a child. The wind toyed with her apricot sari. And for a moment Sambari took delight in her aspects. "
"Nice tits, huh?"
"You are cavalier for one who has been seduced and abandoned," Chiun scolded, eyes remaining shut.
Remo scowled darkly. "Don't remind me."
"It is my job to remind you, lustful one."
And when his pupil had no reply to that, the Master of Sinanju went on. "Sambari looked upon this sleeping vision and grew intrigued by this creature. He wondered about stories he had heard as a boy of the Spider Divas. For strange tales were told by men who had seen them naked, Remo."
"Yeah?" said Remo, recalling Nalini's smooth brown body. "Like what?"
"That under their saris, they possessed the ugly bristled limbs of spiders."
"Nalini wasn't like that."
"In the dark, all women are alike," said Chiun in a careless tone. "As the Spider Diva Padmini slept, Master Sambari reached down to expose her nakedness so as to satisfy his curiosity. The silk came away and he saw that the Spider Diva did not sleep alone. Crouching in the moist warm spots of her body, under her arms and in back of her knees were dark shapes. They were decorated with eyes, Remo. Black unwinking eyes. They peered from everywhere, from even the less wholesome hollows of her alluring form.
"Frightened, Sambari restored the cloth and slew the hideous sleeping creature with a single blow to her forehead. Then he ran. Not in an unseemly fashion, of course, but in a prudent one."
"Of course."
Chiun's hazel eyes snapped open. His voice resumed its normal squeaky tones.
"No more was ever heard of the Spider Divas after that," he said.
"So it was a happy ending," said Remo.
"Not exactly. For upon returning to Ahmadnagar, Sambari discovered that the Mogul Emperor Aurangzeb had died in his sleep."
"A spider got him?"
Chiun shrugged elaborately. "There was no mark, no sign, and as the Mogul Emperor had achieved the age of eighty-nine - old for him but young for Sinanju - death was credited to his advanced years. Except for one thing Sambari wrote in his scrolls but told no one else."
"What's that?" asked Remo.
"There was a scent clinging to the dead emperor and he died with a contented smile on his face. The scent was a scent Sambari had smelled when in the presence of the Spider Divas, Remo."
"So they got him despite Sambari?"
Chiun shrugged. "No one knew this, so Sambari was properly compensated for his work and no blame attached itself to him-until now."
Remo snapped his fingers suddenly. "The ants! Maybe they're not ants, after all."
"Perhaps they are spiders," agreed Chiun.