"What is it?"
"The old bat had contracted HELP. Hope you didn't catch it."
Dr. Gregorian blinked. "HELP? But I have eaten no bugs."
"Not even one? Back at Nirvana West?"
"How did you know I have been to Nirvana West?"
"The same way I know you've killed your last little old lady. I was there and I saw a lot of HELP victims. You look just like one."
Dr. Gregorian took an involuntary step backward. "You-you mean I'm dying?"
"Your eyeballs are still white. That means you've got forty-eight hours."
"But I have so much work to do. So much suffering to end. My life's work will die with me." Dr. Gregorian looked back at the closed doors. "Should I-should I go back for seconds?"
"Not a good idea since the police are going to be here any minute now."
"What good will they do?"
"For you, not much. But when they find out you snuffed Senator Clancy's mother without family permission, they'll probably lock you up for Murder One."
"But I have your permission. You told me over the phone it was your mother."
"Not me. You must have talked to somebody else."
"I was asked to come here."
"You got that in writing?"
Dr. Gregorian's black eyes went dull. "No."
"Malpractice lawyers love guys like you."
Dr. Gregorian looked at his medicide machine.
"I think I need some of my own medicine. Could you help me?"
"Sorry, I have better things to do."
Woodenly, Dr. Mordaunt Gregorian sat himself down on the hard pine floor and hooked himself up. He was about to trip the switch that would pour the painless barbiturates into his own bloodstream when a tiny old Asian stepped from the shadows and said, "Next time, demand a fair price for correct services."
His last thoughts were a confused question. What did that little man mean?
When the police came, they recognized Mordaunt Gregorian from his TV appearances. No one could tell if he was dead or not, because he looked the same in life as he had in death. Which was to say, dead.
Just to be sure, they cuffed the corpse before they shoved it into the body bag.
Chapter 30
"It is obvious," Harold Smith was saying two days later, "that Pearl Clancy was the true Eldress."
"No way she was traipsing around Nirvana West, whispering in people's ears," Remo said. He was in the kitchen of his home, steaming rice for the midday meal, the telephone receiver cradled under his chin. It buzzed with Smith's lemony tones.
"She was the Eldress, but Nalini Toshi served as her eyes, ears, and when necessary, personal assassin. It was her voice that spoke to Karl Sagacious and Theodore Magarac, precipitating the events that led to the discovery of the so-called thunderbug, the founding of PAPA and all the events that followed."
"The whole thing was loony, trying to get Blotto Clancy back on the presidential fast track."
"It had been a Clancy dream-some might say obsession-to get one of their sons elected President," Smith said.
"At the rate new Clancys are entering politics these days," Remo sighed, "it's bound to happen one of these days."
"Perhaps in your lifetime, Remo. But not in mine. In any case, we need not fear for Senator Clancy running for high office again."
"Why not?"
"It was announced today that Senator Clancy is vacating his Senate seat."
Remo checked the rice. It was almost done. "Grief over his mother's death?" he asked.
"Not from the sound of his plans. He has also filed for divorce and run off to Tahiti with his secretary."
"Guess the only thing keeping him in politics was family pressure," said Remo. "Do we go after him?"
"Not necessary. Acting on statements Thrush Limburger made to the FBI, three of Clancy's aides have been arrested for the Limburger kidnapping. They have confessed and have implicated the senator. Extradition may be difficult, but Clancy appears to be not much more than a drink-sodden pawn to his mother's ambitions. Needless to say, the HELP bill has been quietly killed in committee."
"One thing I don't understand. What was all that finger wriggling about?"
"I have looked into that, Remo. It is believed that arachnids, specifically certain species of jumping spider, communicate through semaphorelike signals using their palpi."
"Their what?"
"Palpi. They are in the nature of-um-sexual organs and situated on either side of a spider's head. From the behavior both the Toshi woman and Pearl Clancy exhibited, it appears they were bugging their eyes to give them the semblance of a spider's unwinking orbs, their fingers mimicking the palp signals. Obviously, this was a method of directing the deadly spiders to specific actions. The perfume scent you describe was some sort of olfactory signal to bite the wearer. As well as a natural pheromone of some sort, no doubt passed down along with the secret of communicating with spiders from Spider Diva to Spider Diva."
"That would explain why I couldn't keep my hands off her, even when I knew better," Remo said. "So why didn't the spiders just bite Nalini?"
"Perhaps they did. Perhaps she had built up an immunity to the spider venom. More likely, the spiders considered her one of their own species. No doubt the Toshi woman passed her secrets on to Pearl Clancy. The finger signals were clearly their method of communicating with one another."
"I'll try explaining that to Chiun, but I'm not sure he's gonna believe it. I'm not sure I do."
"Where is Master Chiun?"
"Upstairs, listening to Thrush Limburger."
"I have been monitoring his broadcast as well. He seems to have single-handedly quelled the HELP scare. Bug-eating has tailed off now that people understand the bug is neither a disease carrier nor nutritionally fulfilling."