I push up off the rail, legs wobbly.
“You gonna be okay now?”
“Sure.” I try to sound airy and offhand. “It was just a kiss, right?”
His face is expressionless. “I meant about the pep rally. You’re not feeling sick anymore?”
“Oh,” I say. “No. I feel fine. Thanks.”
He looks away and starts down the steps. I follow reluctantly, not sure what comes next for us. The bell rings as we emerge from the stairwell.
“Pep rally’s over,” he says unnecessarily. The hall is still empty, but it won’t be for long.
“I’ve got English,” he adds.
I cross my arms over my chest like I’m cold. And I am shivering, despite the heat.
My draki likes him too much to stay hidden. No matter how I try, I can’t control myself around him. I won’t kid myself that I can anymore. I can’t risk exposing the pride. Not even to keep my draki alive. And I can’t risk seeing the contempt in his eyes if he learns what I am. Not to mention what his family will do if they find out. And there’s Cassian…somewhere out there. Waiting. Watching. He could show at any time. He and Will can never meet.
I nod, my chest tight and aching. “I’ve got Spanish.” On the other side of the building.
“I’ll see you around.”
I say this first, an empty promise.
The hall comes to life. Fills with students slamming lockers. Voices seem louder, bodies faster, scents stronger.
Will still stands in front of me, looking at me like he wants to say something. My eyes tell him no, tell him to not say anything. What would be the point?
I have to end this thing between us for good…even if it means leaving this town without Mom and Tamra. I can’t keep this up, and I can’t bring myself to tell Mom that I’ve been consorting with the enemy. Both enemies. Will and Cassian.
In my mind, it’s settled. When Cassian comes back, I’ll be leaving with him.
Will shakes his head, frowning at me. “You can’t run from me anymore. I’ll see you later.” He utters this firmly.
I smile sadly. Because I can keep running forever if I need to. At least I can run where he can never find me. Students flow past us, like fish in a stream. Turning, I disappear into the current.
“What,” Catherine demands as she slides in beside me in study hall, “was all that about?”
I try for an innocent, blank look, but she just drops her notebook and copy of To Kill a Mockingbird on the desk with a slam and squares off in front of me. “Spill it. I thought you were over him.”
“What are you talking about?” I try to stall, grasping for some explanation. She deserves one. I haven’t made too many friends in this town. Just Catherine and Brendan. I realize with a sharp pain that I’ll miss them when I’m gone.
“Uh, pep rally?” She bobs her head, choppy bangs bouncing. “You. Will. Whole school watching? Ring a bell?”
“Oh.” I glance at the door, hoping he doesn’t arrive the exact moment we’re talking about him. “That was nothing. He saw I looked sick and helped…” My voice fades. I lift my shoulder in a pathetic shrug.
“Oh.” She nods with mock seriousness. “Sure. I see. And the two of you making out in the stairwell was just his way of making sure you were okay?”
I close my eyes in a slow blink. Great. Now all the stares I’ve been getting make sense.
“News travels fast,” I murmur.
“Well, news like that anyway.”
“It was just a kiss.”
“Uh-huh. Well, that’s more action than any other girl’s ever gotten out of him.”
It shouldn’t, but my heart thrills at this. I duck my head to hide my smile. Catherine nudges me playfully with her elbow. “Huh. You like him! I knew it. Since that first day.
Hey, he can’t be that bad if he likes you. Got taste, at least. And Brooklyn can just suck it—”
“Shh.” I look up, tensing, sensing his approach, waiting for him to enter.
He clears the doorway.
Only he’s not alone. His cousins are with him. Perpetual shadows. My heart sinks.
It won’t be Will. Not really. Not the Will who talked to me in the stairwell. Kissed me with such desperation—like I’m the oxygen his lungs need. Not with his cousins at his side. He won’t be the Will who sets my draki free. And he can’t be. I no longer even want him to be the boy I can’t resist. It’s cruel and senseless when I can’t control myself enough to be around him.
This way is best. I need to see him with them, remember that he’s my enemy. Wedge a wall between us until Cassian comes for me and I leave Chaparral.
I peer down at my hands on the table, hoping to avoid the moment when they pass my table. But looking down, I see Xander’s shoes stop at my table. Pause. “Hi, Jacinda.”
A dark shiver scrapes my spine. I fold my arms across my chest and lift my face. Don’t care that my stare is less than friendly.
With a twisted curve of his lips, Xander glances at Will. “Aren’t you going to say hello, Will?”
Angus studies me like I’m suddenly worth his attention. Like I’m a piece of meat that needs inspecting, weighing.
“We said hello earlier,” Will says stiffly.
“Yeah.” Angus laughs. “I heard about that hello. Didn’t realize she was so much fun to hang with. I might have made a play for her myself if I knew just how fun.”
Air hisses from Catherine. She surges forward. I grasp her arm, stopping her from doing anything.
“Shut up,” Will growls.
I remember what Will said about his family in the car the other night. Poison, he called them. I remember that room, the tiny red and black flags scattered across the North American continent—and Xander’s face when he caught me in there.
Angus laughs again, his mouth wide in his brutish features.
“Well,” I begin, hardly recognizing the strangeness of my voice, as thick as molasses in my mouth. “It wasn’t all that memorable.” It hurts to say the lie, something cruel and untrue, but I have to.
Xander looks confused, unconvinced as he glances back and forth between me and Will.