“What I have here beats what waits for me back home. The wing clipping you so conveniently failed to mention—”
“Is not going to happen, Jacinda.” He steps closer. His head dips to look into my eyes.
“You have my word. If you return with me, you won’t be harmed. I’d die first.”
His words flow through me like a chill wind. “But your father—”
“My father won’t be our alpha forever. Someday, I’ll lead. Everyone knows it. The pride will listen to me. I promise you’ll be safe.”
Can I trust him again? Even after all he said? If I do and I’m wrong, the cost is too high.
My life. “You’ll wait for me to agree to go back with you?” I want to be clear on this point. “You won’t force me in any way? Or reveal yourself to anyone, no matter what?”
“I’ll wait,” he promises. “However long you need.”
He’ll wait. But he’ll be lurking about. Nearby. Watching. And I won’t always know it.
Funny how things change. In the beginning, I thought I could never stay here. Now I don’t want to leave. Mostly because of Will, but also because I’ve decided to give Mom and Tamra what they want. A chance. It can’t be all about me. If I’m strong enough, smart enough, my draki can make it. And of course, Will can help with that. A few kisses. A smile. A brush of his hand and my draki is revived. And I no longer have to hide it from him.
I can last through high school. For Mom, for Tamra. After graduation, I can go with Will when he cuts free from his family. Just two more years. We’ll figure out the specifics.
The how and where. For the first time since coming here, I feel the stirrings of hope. I won’t let Cassian ruin that.
“You’re going to wait forever,” I vow. “I won’t change my mind.”
Cassian’s mouth curves enigmatically. Like he knows something I don’t. He’s eighteen, but in that moment I can believe he has several more years than that on me. “Things change all the time. People change. I’ll take my chances.”
I shake my head. “You’ll see. I won’t change my mind.”
And then he’ll go. Because he can’t wait forever. No matter what he says. He’s got a pride to lead. He’s not going to hang around here for two years. No matter how interesting I am to him.
“We’ll see.”
I glance at the blinking clock on top of the TV. “You better go before my mom gets home.”
“Right.” He moves to the door. “Bye, Jacinda.”
I don’t return the farewell. Don’t want to pretend we’ve reached a level where niceties exist between us.
We’re not friends. Not even close. And we never will be.
At five o’clock, Mom sticks her head in the bedroom. “What do you want to do for dinner tonight, Jacinda?”
She switched shifts with someone so she could stay home with us one Friday night for a change. I feel a flicker of guilt. For all her trouble, she’s going to be alone.
Tamra has plans, too—no surprise. And I haven’t told either one of them about my date with Will yet. Right now, looking at me, Mom thinks she’s going to have a fun night with at least one of her girls.
Tamra is trying on clothes. She didn’t volunteer anything more than that she’s going out with friends. And I don’t ask. Don’t expect to know these friends if she did tell me. Given recent events, I’m pretty sure they’re not cheerleaders.
I spot a pretty eyelet blouse she’s tossed—eliminated as an option—on the bed, and think it’s perfect for my date with Will.
Inhaling, I confess, “Um, I’m actually going out, too.”
Tamra swings around.
“Really?” Mom asks, crossing her arms and stepping into the room. “With who?” A small note of hope rings her voice. That the difficult daughter might actually be coming along. Fitting in. Making friends.
“With Will.” I avoid calling it a date. No need to alarm her.
“Will?” Tamra’s voice cuts in. “Isn’t that kind of…stupid?”
Mom’s brow scrunches like she’s concentrating. “He’s the reason those girls harassed you in the bathroom, right?” Apparently, Tamra has been talking to Mom. “The boy who makes you…”
Manifest. Like it’s something dirty, she can’t even say it anymore.
“I can control it around him now,” I lie. Better than telling her I don’t need to.
Mom’s eyes harden. “I don’t want you going out with him,” she says this quickly, flatly.
“Yeah. Me too,” Tamra chimes in, like she has some kind of authority over me.
“You don’t get a say,” I snap at her.
Tamra’s livid now, and I’m sure it’s because I lied to her when she asked me about Will.
Guess I should have told her the truth then instead of wanting to keep it a cozy little secret just between me and Will. “He’s caused us nothing but trouble—” I stab a finger through the air. “He’s the only reason I even want to stay here! The only reason I haven’t run away yet! You should be thankful I met him.” Not totally true. Mom and Tamra play a part, too…but I’m too mad to admit that.
Mom jerks, blinks. Color bleeds from her face.
“Jacinda.” She exhales my name in a hushed breath. Like I’ve said something horrible.
Done something even worse.
“What? You think I haven’t thought about running away?” I demand. “I was miserable until Will! I don’t think I could stand a day here without him!”
Tamra grunts in disgust and turns back to the closet.
Mom’s quiet. Looks pale and afraid. I can see her thinking, processing. I stare at her, try to feed her my hope. Make her understand that everything’s better, everything will be all right as long as I have Will.
She shakes her head sadly, regretfully. “It’s too dangerous for you to be with him.”
If only she knew how dangerous.
“Fine,” I say tightly, tossing my hands up. “Keep me in a bubble, why don’t you? Or homeschool me! Don’t you think any boy that I like…that I’m attracted to might make my draki come to life?” I don’t think this is true, but I say so anyway. It’s strictly Will.
There’s something about him. Something in him reaches inside me. No other boy could affect me the way he does.