“Should I try going out with a guy that grosses me out just to play it safe?”
“Of course not,” she quickly says. “But maybe you shouldn’t date anyone until your draki—”
“Is dead?” I finish, biting out. “I know.” I fan my hands in the air. “It’s that great event you’ve been waiting for. The day you can call me human.”
And this hurts. Like a wound that just won’t heal, but pulses open and bloody. The knowledge that I’m not what she wants, that I have to be someone I don’t want to be in order to have her approval….
Tears burn in my eyes at the unfairness of it all. I pull in a deep breath. “Has it occurred to you it may not die? That my draki is not a part of me you can just kill off? That it is me. Forever. All of me. Who. I. Am.” I splay my hand over my heart. “I know you think it will eventually wither away here, but I’m a fire-breather, remember? That makes me different from everything we’ve ever known about our kind.”
She shakes her head. Looks tired. Old and a little scared. “You’re not going out with him.”
I clench my hands until the bones ache. “You can’t do this—”
“What? Be your mother?” she snaps, her amber eyes lively again. “That’s never going to stop, Jacinda. Get used to it.”
I know she’s right, of course. She loves me and will always do what she thinks is right to protect me. Even if she makes me miserable in the process. She’ll do whatever she has to do.
I cross my arms, settle my lips in a grim line. And so will I.
Two minutes before Will is scheduled to arrive, I sneak out the window, sliding it shut quietly.
Mom’s in the kitchen, getting a drink and snack ready for the movie I agreed to watch with her. The buttery aroma of popcorn fills the air, the frenzied staccato of popping covering up any sounds I make.
Tamra left half an hour ago, still angry at me. She didn’t even say good night.
As I run around the pool, I spot Mrs. Hennessey looking out the window, the blue light of her television pulsing behind her. I wave, hoping I don’t resemble a prison escapee too much. Air crashes from my lips as I hurry.
Will’s at the curb, just stepping out from his Land Rover. His face relaxes when he sees me. A loose smile forms on his lips. “Hey. I was coming in—”
“That’s okay. Let’s go.” I open the passenger door before he can reach it and hop inside.
Breathless.
He gets back in, moving slowly, sending me curious looks. My hands tap an impatient rhythm on my thighs.
“You sure you’re all right? I wanted to meet your mom—”
“Not such a good idea right now.” I glance at the house. No sign of Mom, thankfully.
“Let’s just get out of here.”
He nods with slow uncertainty. “All right.”
I can tell he’s not happy—he wants to be the proper boyfriend and everything. I wish I could let him. But I know it won’t work with my mother. Not yet.
“I missed you,” I say, hoping that’s enough to make him feel better. “It’s been a long day.”
He laughs. “I missed you, too. I could have cut school, you know. You’re the one—”
“I know. I know.” I shake my head. “I just don’t want you doing that for me anymore.”
“Well, I won’t have to. You’ll be back on Monday.”
He starts the ignition and drives. I sigh with relief as we pull away. Finally on our date.
I stare into the deepening night, the flashing lights of oncoming traffic mesmerize me in the clinging silence. My thoughts swing from Mom to someone else. Someone who’s in all likelihood nearby. Hopefully, not too near.
I tell myself he’ll keep his word. Hang back. Even if he sees me with another boy. But I’m not a hundred percent convinced.
I glance over my shoulder, at the car following close behind us. It’s impossible to see the driver. To tell if it’s Cassian. After a moment, it pulls around and passes us. I sigh.
“Why do I get the feeling that I’m abducting you? Should I be on alert for sirens in the rearview mirror?”
“I left willingly.” I force a grin and tease, “I don’t think you’ll get arrested.”
“Great. You don’t ‘think.’ That’s encouraging.” He gives me a wincing smile. “But maybe not. I am eighteen, after all—”
“You’re eighteen? But you’re a sophomore.”
An uneasy look passes over his face. “I missed a lot of school a few years back. Half of seventh grade and all of eighth, in fact. I was sick.”
“Sick?” I echo. The reminder of his mortality crashes down on me. It’ll always be there, smoke rising between us. Xander had mentioned Will being ill, but I never imagined it as anything serious.
“How? I mean, what…”
He shrugs like it’s nothing, but he won’t glance at me. He stares at the road. “Leukemia.
But I’m better now. Completely cured.”
“Were you very… bad off?”
“For about a year. The prognosis wasn’t—” He stops suddenly, like he’s said too much, and I get that sense again. The feeling that he’s not telling me something. That he’s holding back. A muscle in his jaw ripples with tension. “Look, don’t worry about it.
Aren’t I a perfect male specimen now?” He sends me a wink. “Don’t I look healthy?”
He does. Everything about him screams virile young male. But then not everything is what it appears. I know that better than anyone.
“It’s amazing what doctors can do these days.” He’s staring intently at the road again, and I’m convinced there’s something he’s not telling me. Maybe something he never will. But then why would he hide anything from me? After everything we know now about each other? What would be the point?
I nod. Feel a little cold inside. I don’t like thinking he’s keeping something from me.
Almost as much as I don’t like thinking I could have lost him. That we may never have met. That I would have died in that cave when his family found me.
And then there’s the fact that he could still die. That he will. Sure, not now, but someday.
Long before me. A dull throbbing gnaws at my temples. I dig my fingertips into the pain.