“They like to play with their food,” Ezra said, and Leif looked sheepishly at the ground.
“They want him to wait in fear, wondering when they’re going to pounce, jumping at every noise. And eventually, he’ll either go mad, or come home, which is a prize in and of itself.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, but an intense nausea was welling up inside me.
“Why don’t you explain it to her?” Ezra growled at Leif. “Since this is your plan!”
“It’s not my idea!” Leif insisted, looking hurt and ashamed. “I’m here, telling you this! At risk to myself! So don’t tell me that this is my idea!”
“You didn’t do anything to stop it, did you?” Ezra roared and took several steps toward him.
This time, Leif didn’t back down. He just stared indignantly at Ezra. “You wouldn’t have said anything us to if you hadn’t seen us!”
“I couldn’t stop it! I can’t go up against them!” Leif shook his head, then lowered his eyes.
“This is my pack. Peter’s just a stupid, arrogant…”
Leif rubbed his neck, and Ezra sighed. Part of him really wanted to deck Leif about now, but he knew that would only make things worse. Regardless of what Leif had or hadn’t done prior to this, he was the only trying to help us now. If we were going to find Peter, he’d be our best bet at doing that.
“I still don’t understand what you want with keeping Peter alive.” I spoke mainly to break the tension between them, but also, I didn’t get it.
“Peter obviously has a bit of a death wish, otherwise he wouldn’t be here,” Leif explained quietly.
“Killing him would probably be a kind of satisfaction to him. They’re waiting for him to leave, so they can follow. And make him watch as they kill everything he cares about. That’s his real punishment. Gunnar probably won’t even kill him in the end, because sometimes, living forever is worse.”
My first thought wasn’t of myself, but Jack, Milo, and Mae sitting home at the house. They were alone, unguarded. Ezra and Peter were the real muscle of the family, and they were here, thousands of miles away from them. A cold shudder ran through me as panic hit.
“Are sure they’re in Sweden?” I demanded, hearing my voice tremble. “They didn’t go anywhere else?” Ezra caught onto what I was saying and narrowed his eyes at Leif.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Leif looked bewildered, but then it dawned him. “No! Look, they didn’t think you had anything to do with it! If they did, they would’ve killed you then, and left your bodies lying around for Peter to find. Okay? They have no idea! They didn’t follow your scent home! I’m positive!”
“We need to get out of here,” I insisted.
I trusted Leif, but I tended to have faulty judgment. Besides, even if he was telling the truth, the thought had been put in my head, and I was more desperate to see Jack than I had been before. The yearning and fear were mixing together, and Leif gave me an odd look, so I suspected my heart had started beating in that tricky way that tended to drive vampires nuts.
“Where is Peter?” Ezra asked severely.
“I can tell you the area he’s in, but I can’t take you there,” Leif answered apologetically.
“They’ll smell my scent mixed with yours, leading you to him, and then I’ll be as good as dead.”
“Fine. Where is he?” Ezra repeated.
“Not that far, actually. He’s about a kilometer and a half east, past a small lake. There’s a little cave in the ground. That’s where he’s been hiding.” Leif pointed in the direction he’d told us, the direction he’d been walking from.
“Thanks,” Ezra nodded at him.
Without even waiting for me, Ezra started racing towards Peter. I knew I’d have to rush to keep up with him, but I paused to talk to Leif. He just looked so apologetic and kind, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to him. It wasn’t until that moment, when I looked directly at him, that I realized what it was that I liked so much about him. He had eyes just like my brother’s.
“Thank you,” I told him earnestly.
“Don’t thank me,” he sounded embarrassed by it. “Just go. Get him. Get out of here.”
Ezra was already in a blur in the trees ahead of me, and he had a far better sense of direction than I did, so I was screwed if I lost him. While I had been making great strides in grace lately, at the speed I was running, it became impossible to maintain. I slipped and stumbled over everything and hit my head on several low hanging branches. By the time I came to the small lake, I was covered in snow and pine needles.
Ezra had stopped sharply, and I didn’t notice him until it was too late. I tried to catch myself, but I slid on the ice and slammed right into him, which is was much like running into a brick wall.
I bounced off his back, then tumbled down onto the ground. I had gotten myself into the crouching position, preparing to stand up, but then I got a glimpse of something through Ezra’s legs, and I froze in my tracks.
His eyes were unmistakable, but they were even greener than I remembered them being.
Peter stood a few feet in front of Ezra, looking mangier than I had ever seen him before. His chestnut hair was down to his shoulders, growing several inches in the last few weeks, but for some reason, vampire hair grew incredibly fast. Like the other lycans, he had a thick stubble growing on his face but not quite a beard.
His clothes were filthy and ragged, and Peter had always been somebody that prided himself on his appearance. He was still as gorgeous as ever, and somehow, I had expected that to fade. But it turns that he was just plain stunning, and that had nothing to do with whether I was bonded with him or not.
I waited apprehensively, half-expecting that intense pull to well up inside me at the sight of him, or my heart to get so fluttery I could hardly stand it. But nothing happened. I stared at Peter, feeling an odd connection to him and relief in knowing that he was still alive, but it was nothing like it had ever been before, and it never would be again. Even when his eyes briefly met mine, I never had to remind myself to breathe.
He no longer captivated me.
“You brought her?” Peter asked Ezra, but it wasn’t lined with that familiar disgust and contempt he tried hold for me. Instead, he was genuinely nervous and concerned for my well-being.
“She insisted on coming,” Ezra explained.
There was an odd tension between them that I didn’t fully understand. I had thought that Ezra would just come up to and say something like, “Alright, that’s enough Peter, let’s go home” but he was barely saying anything. He almost seemed afraid to go near Peter. Their awkward exchange made me decide to get to my feet and brush myself off. Hiding on the ground behind Ezra just didn’t feel right.
“She can’t fight them!” Peter said vehemently, and when I came around Ezra, he purposely kept his eyes locked on him and not me.
“We’re not here to fight,” Ezra replied coolly.
“Did you come here to die then?” Peter looked pained and pale under the moonlight, and his words echoed off the trees around us. Somewhere, the owl hooted and took flight again, sending shivers down my spine.
“Peter,” Ezra tried to reason with him, but Peter wanted nothing to do with it.
“I can’t believe you did this! I’ve been staying here, going through all of this, so they would stay away from you! They’re going to kill you, Ezra! Do you understand that? They’re going to kill you and Alice and everyone!” Peter had started pacing anxiously, and it was clear he had started to unravel a bit.
“Peter, no one is going to kill anyone,” Ezra’s impassive baritone overrode everything else.
Based on the recent conversations with both Leif and Peter, Ezra’s assertions seemed rather implausible. Admittedly, when Peter had come to these woods, he’d been in a different state of mind, one that already bordered on insanity. But in general, he’d always been a strong vampire, undisturbed by his own emotions. For something to get to him this bad, it had to have merit, and it was probably unwise for Ezra to ignore it.
“Ezra, you don’t know what they’re like,” his pleas bordered on whining, but he didn’t even care. “It’s been too long since you’ve seen them in action!”
“We have been here for days, searching all over the lycan territory, getting our scent on everything.
We’ve already thoroughly ruined your attempts at self-sacrifice. Let’s go back to the hotel, get you cleaned up, and try to figure a way out of this mess,” Ezra said, and that had been what I had expecting right off the bat.
Peter groaned, but more at Ezra’s stupidity than at the thought of going to the hotel with us.