When I had asked him to end my life, he had refused, so I had bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to reject biting me then. I had forced him into biting me, and Jack had rushed in just in time to stop him from finishing the job.
“But he did, Alice!” Jack growled. “He hurt you constantly! All he ever did was push you away and treat you like crap and almost murder you! What about that is so endearing to you?”
“He didn’t ask for any of this, Jack!” I shouted. “He didn’t ask to feel the way he did about me, and he just wanted it to stop! So did I! So did you! But he’s the only one being punished for it! And you of all people should understand what he’s going through! You got me! You won! And now he’s alone and suicidal somewhere because of me! I can’t just let him die!”
My intensity only hurt and bewildered Jack more. He leaned back, resting against a row of shelves that were filled with his Converse. His expression had gone lax, and I knew he had resigned himself to me going, but that didn’t mean he felt okay about it. In fact, his own resignation bothered him.
“Jack, listen to me.” I took his hand gently, and his sad, blue eyes met mine. “Ezra’s not going to let anything bad happen to me. You know that. And I love you, okay?”
“I don’t want you to go, Alice,” Jack said simply. “Please. If you love me. Don’t go.”
Seeing him like that, so desperate for me to stay, broke my heart. I never wanted to hurt him, and whenever possible, I’d do whatever it took to make him happy. If Ezra had shot me down, I wouldn’t have fought to go, but if he agreed, then he obviously thought that I could be of some help. It was heart-wrenching to see Jack so unhappy, but if causing him a few moments of misery would save Peter’s life, then so be it.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
From downstairs, I heard Ezra calling my name, telling me that we had to get going. I pursed my lips, watching Jack and waiting for him to respond somehow. Part of me expected him to yell and demand that I stay, but that was never his style. He lowered his eyes and gently rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand, making my skin tremble. Finally, he exhaled deeply.
“I’ll drive you,” Jack whispered and started getting to his feet.
“What?” Milo protested incredulously. “You’re just letting her go?”
Jack was still holding my hand, so he helped me to my feet. Milo had his arms crossed over his chest and stood just outside of the closet door, glaring at the both of us for being so stupid. Jack leaned over and picked up my bag so he could carry it downstairs, even though I was strong enough to do it myself.
“What am I supposed to do?” Jack gave Milo a helpless look and shrugged as we walked past him.
“I told you! Forbid her from going!” Milo had started getting nervous and fidgety, traits that were becoming increasingly uncommon with his new-found vampire confidence.
“Yeah, you try forbidding her,” Jack rolled his eyes, but there was an underlying weariness to it.
He held my hand as we walked downstairs where Mae and Ezra were waiting with his luggage. On the table, there a small duffel bag full of special containers that Mae was carefully packing with blood from bags.
We survived mostly on blood donations, thanks to a set of clinics they ran similar to the Red Cross. People donated blood thinking it was for blood transfusions in humans, but really, they were sustaining almost the entire species of vampires.
When traveling with blood, as was often a necessity, they had to use special equipment.
Airport security would find it highly suspect if they knew that Ezra was boarding the plane with bags of blood. They used metal cans that looked like whip cream, lined to make it impossible for dogs to sniff out, should that arise. Mae filled the duffle bag with ice packs to keep them cold, and while Ezra usually got weird looks, he always got through it by saying he was some kind of whip cream salesmen, and so far, it had seemed to work.
As a result, he also had a surprisingly vast knowledge of whip cream.
Ezra stood next to her, sifting through the papers to make sure they were all in order. As soon as I had turned, he set about getting all the documentation set up so I could live my life with them without any suspicion. That had been a source of contention since I had insisted on keeping my last name Bonham instead of changing it to Townsend, like the rest of them. Nobody had actually cared except for Jack, but he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want his last name. I didn’t really have any explanation for it, especially since that was Milo’s last name too, but I just wasn’t really ready for everything about me to change.
Someday, I’m sure it would change, but for now, I wanted to hang onto every part of myself that I could, even if it was just my name.
On the plus side, Ezra had my age changed to eighteen, since it would be far easier for me to do things if I wasn’t a minor. They had done the same thing with Milo when he turned, even though he was really only fifteen, but he looked closer to nineteen anymore so it made the most sense.
All of Ezra’s information said that he was twenty-nine, even though he had actually been twenty-six when he turned, but it was that way with all of them. Jack was really twenty-four, but his license said he was twenty-seven, and Mae’s said that she was thirty-one, even though she as three years younger than that when she turned. They had been living this life, this name in this house, for four years already, and they had to change along with it. They wouldn’t be able to pull off their ages for much longer, though, which meant that they were going to have move very soon. As it was, Jack didn’t really pass for twenty-seven, and he would never make it as thirty.
“When was the last time you ate?” Ezra asked me, but he didn’t look up from passport. It was brand new, and he was inspecting it for any mistakes.
“Um, yesterday,” I replied.
There was a constant thirst with me, but it wasn’t the same as being thirsty when I was human. My mouth wasn’t parched, and my stomach didn’t feel empty like I was hungry, either. I just felt this need inside me, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. The closest feeling I could I can recall is when I ran too fast in gym, and my muscles would start ache from the oxygen depilation. It would be this slow, swelling cramp that seemed to permeate through me, and I was just desperate to stop running.
Except the relief for this wasn’t the lack of motion; it was blood, and that thought was accompanied by a frantic lust.
Fortunately, I had managed to have a reasonable level of control over my bloodlust. Both Milo and I had a stronger grasp of that than most vampires, something that seemed to bewilder Ezra and Mae. Our relationship to vampires and as vampires constantly surprised them, and Ezra in particular thought there was something deeper going on than merely my bond with Peter and Jack.
“Hmm.” Ezra eyed me over, debating. “I don’t want you to get tired just yet. We’ll have to wait until you’re on the flight. Do you think you can handle being around people that much on an empty stomach?”
“I think so,” I nodded, but I wasn’t as certain as I tried to sound.
Since I was still so newly turned, blood still had a very strong effect on me. After eating, I’d feel very similar to someone very happily drunk or incredibly high. It felt amazing, but I’d also be very drowsy and out of it, and usually, I’d just pass out and sleep it off for awhile. Eventually, drinking blood should give me more energy instead of knocking me out, but that was awhile off yet.
On top of that, I had very little experience being around people. I found myself attracted to Jack’s blood, and that’s fairly common among vampires, especially when they’re in love, but his pulse was significantly weaker than humans. They’re blood smelled stronger and pounded harder and would be far more enticing. I had shown a lot of self-control so far, but in all honesty, I’d had very little temptation.
“Good.” Ezra nodded once, then looked at Mae. “Is everything packed then?”
“Yes.” She bit her lip when she met his gaze, and she didn’t want him to go anymore than Jack wanted me to go. Whatever we were doing was life threatening to Peter, which meant that it was dangerous to us too.
“Well, then.” He smiled wanly at me. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah,” I nodded again.
He put all the papers in the front pocket of his suitcase, then grabbed it and the duffel bag full of the whip cream containers of blood. Up until that point, I think Milo had half-expected Ezra to tell me that I had to stay behind, but when he saw that we were really serious, he balked loudly.
“You can’t really be going!” Milo flared with agitation, and Mae put her hand on his back, rubbing it gently to try and ease him down before he went berserk. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re going to get her killed!”
“Milo, that’s enough,” Mae murmured softly.
“But… but…” Milo stammered and turned to her for help. “You know this is stupid!”
“Milo.” Ezra cut him off decisively, and Milo’s face crumpled. “Just hug your sister before we go.”
He was crying when he hugged me, which didn’t make things easier. His hug was too tight and too insistent, but I didn’t tell him so. He didn’t want me to go, and he didn’t want to be left behind, but there was very little in the way of options. The one time that he had actually met Peter, it hadn’t gone over well, so he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help the cause of rescuing Peter.
Mae kissed Ezra passionately with tears in her eyes, and once again asked him if there was anything that could get him to stay. He didn’t say anything, but that was the answer she had expected.
Sniffling, she hugged me tightly and made me promise to be safe, to always run at the first sign of trouble, and to call her constantly, whether anything was wrong or not.
When we left, she had her arm wrapped around Milo, and they were standing in the entryway, looking terribly forlorn. Inside, I felt like crying too, but I knew that would only make things worse.
Jack hadn’t said anything as we left, and he continued his silence on the car ride to the airport. He took Ezra’s Lexus, and Ezra seemed just content with the silence. He was lost in his own thoughts, trying to figure something out.
The Minneapolis airport was a bustle of human activity. The cold October air felt good on my skin as we walked from the parking lot to the airport, but everything was already filled with the warm, tantalizing scent of blood. My heart sped up a little, and Jack took my hand, squeezing it tightly to reassure me. Once inside, the feeling only got worse, and I tried to think of sad things, like dead bunnies, to keep my appetite under wraps.
Ezra went to the desk to pick up our tickets while Jack stood with me, waiting in the crowd.