“I know it seems major, but it’s really not as bad as you think,” Jack sat at the down at the end of the bed and tried to coax Milo out from the bed. “I mean, it would be major for normal people, but he understood what he was getting into when he got involved with a vampire.”
“Well, maybe I didn’t!” Milo was whining, and he almost never whined. Mae pushed back his hair from his forehead, and he rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I don’t know how I can ever face him again.”
“Just face him the same way you did before,” I shrugged. “You haven’t seen him, but if you had, you’d understand. He really doesn’t hold anything against you.”
“But he should!” Milo had pulled himself out from underneath the covers a bit more, but he just stared up at the ceiling, looking complete desolate. I couldn’t imagine how terrified and guilty he felt knowing he had almost killed someone he loved, but Bobby was alive, and I didn’t want him to spend the rest of his life moping about. “I nearly killed him. He should hate me. Something should happen. There should be repercussions for my actions.”
“You don’t think there are?” I asked. “Look at you!”
“It’s not enough,” Milo protested. “I mean, I’m a monster! I should be locked up and kept away from people forever!”
“You’re not a monster, love,” Mae cooed, running her fingers through his hair. “You’re just young, and you have some things to figure out. That’s all.”
“The fact that you’re beating yourself up so much about this proves you’re not a monster,” Jack added. Milo looked at him, sniffling, and for a minute, I thought that Jack might have really gotten through to him.
“Have you ever done anything like that?” Milo asked him, almost sounding hopeful. If Jack had behaved somewhat like this, then it would make it okay that Milo had done this. Jack wasn’t horrible, so it was evidence that Milo wasn’t horrible either.
“Well… no,” Jack replied hesitantly. He knew the answer he was looking for, and if he wasn’t such a terrible liar, he probably would’ve made something up.
“And you haven’t even bit anyone, so you have no idea what I’m going through,” Milo said to me, making me feel like an idiot and a loser. I really hated that he had more experience in all of this than I did. I wanted to be able to advice him and comfort him through this, but like everything else in life, he knew more about it than I did. I was completely useless to him as an older sister.
“I have,” Mae admitted reluctantly. Milo and Jack looked at her with surprise, and she gave Jack a weird look out of the corner of her eye. “It was a long time ago, but I remember it very clearly. I know how terrible it feels, knowing that you almost took a life. But I also know that it’s something you can get past.”
“So what happened?” Milo asked. The tears were drying under his eyes, and at least Mae had been able to distract him from his misery. “Was it with Ezra?”
“No, he was a human, but he didn’t die, and that’s what matters.” Mae forced a smile, but there was something incredibly pained about it.
“How come I’ve never heard about this before?” Jack looked confused. They had been very close, and I was even a little surprised that he hadn’t heard this story before. Mae was big into sharing things. “Was it before I turned?”
“Yes, it was.” Mae shifted uncomfortably in the bed and tucked a curl back behind her ears.
She sat up more and refused to look at Jack. Right now, he was only feeling bewildered and intrigued, but I was getting the impression that there was something that she wasn’t telling us, and it made me nervous.
“Did he need a blood transfusion too?” Milo was obviously starting to feel better about this whole thing if Mae had been there too. She was one of the kindest people we had ever met, and if she was capable of this, then it couldn’t be that bad.
“No, but it doesn’t matter how he survived. The point is that it doesn’t make you a monster for drinking too much,” Mae looked at Milo, and she had purposely started turning more towards him, so her back was more to Jack. “It’s easy to forget how fragile humans can be, and that’s why it’s important to always be careful.”
“Well, how bad was he?” Milo pressed. He was starting to doubt her story since she couldn’t provide any details, but I knew she was telling the truth. She was just leaving something out. “Did he lose a lot of blood?”
“Yes, he was almost dead.” Mae closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead. “He may have been technically dead. His heart had completely stopped beating.”
“So what did you do? You didn’t give him a blood transfusion?” Milo sat up straighter, and even Jack was looking very interested in her story.
“No, we couldn’t. We were… out, and Ezra wasn’t there.” Mae sighed and shook her head.
“It was a long time ago. I don’t know why all of this matters so much to you.”
“I just don’t understand what happened. If he was that bad, how did he live? Did you take him to a hospital or something?” Milo asked.
“No, there wasn’t enough time. They couldn’t have…” Mae opened her eyes, but she stared intently at the bedspread instead of looking at any of us. “It’s so easy to lose control, and that’s why I only drink bag blood anymore. I never want to feel that way again.”
“Mae, what happened?” I demanded as gently as I could. A sick feeling was building up in my stomach, and I wasn’t even sure if I should press her for more information. Maybe it would better if no one ever found out, but I always had to know everything.
“Ezra told me that Bobby almost didn’t make it, and he had a lot more going for him,” Milo said. “I mean, if he was dead, how did you save him?”
“We…” Mae exhaled shakily. “Peter turned him.”
Mae closed her eyes tightly, but for a second, nobody said anything. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Milo’s big brown eyes were even larger than normal, and he just gaped at them, looking back and forth between Mae and Jack. At first, Jack didn’t seem to feel anything.
Then this painful, shocked, nauseous panic spread out over him. His heart hammered in his chest, and I wanted to say something to him, but I didn’t know what.
“What are you talking about?” Jack demanded, and his voice was shaking.
“Jack, love,” Mae reached out for his hand, and he leapt up off the bed before she could touch him.
Tears formed in her eyes as she looked helplessly at him. “It was a long time ago.”
“No!” Jack shook his head, refusing to believe or understand what she was saying. “I followed two girls into the club, and then…” He ran a hand through his sandy hair, and he stared off at nothing, trying to think. From what I understood, Jack had never really been able to remember much about turning. “You told me that you found me in the alley, that they left me for dead.”
“Nobody left you for dead, love.” Mae got up off the bed and took a step towards him, but he just took a step back.
“What happened, Mae?” Jack shouted. “What really happened to me?” Mae flinched at the anger in his voice, and Milo and I were too confused and surprised to do anything else but watch.
“You were at the club, and…” Mae trailed off. “You know how these things happen!”
“No, I want you to tell me exactly what happened,” Jack glared at her. “I deserve to know what you really did to me!”
“You were at the club, and I was hungry! I had picked up people there a few times before, and I didn’t think anything of it. So I took you to one of the back rooms,” Mae explained, and Jack closed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to, Jack! Honestly! I never meant to hurt you! I didn’t even realize what I had done until it was too late! You weren’t breathing and your heart had stopped!”
“I thought you couldn’t turn if you were dead,” Jack said quietly, but he still didn’t open his eyes.
“You weren’t dead yet, not completely.” Mae walked closer to him, and he didn’t run away.
“I called for Peter, and he came in and said the only thing we could do was turn you, so he did. And then we took you back home and took care of you and loved you.” She put her hand on his chest, and he let her, but I could feel he was visibly shaken. His heart beat erratically and his breath was coming out raggedly.
The color had drained from his face, and he felt hurt, pissed off, and very ill.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Jack asked as evenly as he could.
“The last thing you remembered was following the girls into the club, and everything was confusing and frightening enough in the beginning,” Mae explained hurriedly. “We didn’t think we should add to it, so we just let you believe that the girls had done it.”
“So you lied to me?” He opened his eyes, and his eyes had gone icy. “You lied to me for the past fifteen years? You thought that was a better alternative?”
“No, we just… I didn’t know how to tell you!” Mae floundered.
“Whatever.” Jack pushed her hand off of him and turned and stormed out of her bedroom.