Marmelstein smiled warmly. "I sure did, didn't I?"
"You know a lot of words, Bruce," said Bindle.
"You have to work hard to stay ahead of the crowd. It's a jungle out there."
"You know," Bindle said, "I'm glad we both know now that the other one can't read. It's made us closer, kind of."
"Partners should always be honest," Marmelstein said.
"Right," said Bindle.
"Good. Now who can we rip off?" Marmelstein asked. "Did the new incorporation come in?" asked Bindle.
"Yes," said Marmelstein. "Just today. So now we have a new corporate structure."
"I hope we keep this one longer than a week," Bindle said. "I always have trouble remembering the names of whatever corporation we're supposed to be each week."
197
"Just leave the business side of it to me," Marmelstein said. "You know, I wish I knew what that Barry Schweid was up to."
"Yeah," said Bindle. "He's got some nerve going to another producer."
"Especially after we produced his other movies. Teeth. Space Battle. Distant Encounters of the First Kind."
"Don't forget On Silver Lake," Bindle said.
"That's right. We've done some good ones." Marmelstein said. "A few more and we might even think about stopping selling cocaine."
"I don't know about that," said Bindle. "There's a lot of money in cocaine."
"Are we interested in money or creating enduring cinematic art?" Marmelstein asked. He pronounced it "cinemackic."
The two partners looked at each other for a few long seconds as the question hung in the air, unanswered. Finally, they nodded.
"Right. Money," they said in unison.
The telephone rang inside Marmelstein's desk. The desk was a large pink Italian marble slab, resting at both ends on two slices of highly-varnished wood cut from redwood trees. On Marmelstein's side of the desk, the redwood had been hollowed out so that a file cabinet could fit into each side of the pedestal.
There was nothing in the file cabinet except the telephone. Marmelstein thought it was tacky to have a telephone on the desk. He had gotten that idea when he first came to Hollywood and went into a producer's office and there was no telephone
198
on the desk. It was the only real producer's office he had ever been in and he assumed that all producers spurned the telephone, especially since he had never been able to reach any of them by phone. If he had been able to read, he would have seen in the local press the week after he had met the phoneless producer that the producer had been indicted for embezzlement, for diverting money to his own personal use and letting production company bills go unpaid. Among the unpaid bills was the telephone bill. His phone had been removed by Earth Mother Bell, the Hollywood phone company.
Marmelstein opened the desk drawer, but before he answered the phone, he said to Bindle, "Listen to the new name."
He lifted the receiver.
"Hello. Universal Bindle Marmelstein Mammoth Global Magnificent Productions speaking. How may we help you?"
He smiled at Bindle. The name of the company had been carefully chosen to allow the two partners to tell people that they were with Universal and mumble the rest of the words, or that they were with MGM, short for Mammoth Global Magnificent. Every little bit helped, Marmelstein thought. And often said.
"Bruce, this is Barry Schweid. I want you to help me."
"That's what I said on the phone. 'How may we help you?' " Marmelstein said. "Right after I said Universal Bindle Marmelstein Mammoth Global Magnificent Productions. That's our new name."
199
"Yeah, yeah, I know all that. I want you to come in as partners on one of my movies. Minor partners," Schweid said.
"We'll start raising money immediately," Marmelstein said. "Do story boards. Talk to directors and stars. There's still time for us to "
"No," Schweid said. "You're going to get an agent's cut. That's all. I already got a producer."
"What do you want us to do?"
"Negotiate for me," Schweid said. "I think this guy is screwing me."
"What do you want that he won't give?" asked Marmelstein.
"That's just it. He's giving me everything I want."
"I don't trust him," Marmelstein said.
"When I asked him for money, he said yes," Schweid said.
"He's a thief," Marmelstein said.
"I wanted gross points, he gave me gross points."
"Oh, the dirty bastard. Trying to work you over that way," Marmelstein said. "It's hard for me to believe sometimes what kind of thieves there are in this town."
"I need you two," Schweid said. "I know you're drug peddlers but you know how to negotiate."
"You've come to the right place, Barry. Just tell me what you want."
"All I want is what I got. But I don't want him to be so damn agreeable about it," Schweid said.
"We'll end that," Marmelstein promised. "When do we see this guy?"
"I'll talk to him tonight on the phone. A conference call. You guys can take over," Schweid said.
200
"You've got it. We'll straighten him out."