There was a moment's pause before Ayan was admitted inside the new Captain's ready quarters. She was a bundle of nerves. Waiting for the door to open gave the knot in her belly a chance to grow and make her even more uneasy about approaching Jacob, who had become more of a mystery to her over the past two weeks.
The extended test results of the wormhole generator systems would wait, besides Finn was focusing on it and would tell Chief Grady if there were any problems. Preparations for the installation of two of the Triton’s main engines were complete and the other, less important internal repairs she was supervising had finished the day before. She was the only one on the bridge who had time to approach him.
She wanted to, but at the same time she couldn't avoid the feeling that somehow she'd done something wrong. He was distant, difficult to speak to and never around when she had a spare moment. Oh, come on! You're a trained military officer, have seen war at point blank, survived more than most could imagine and have led engineering crews through damage control during actual combat. You used to have enough confidence for four officers! What's more, we were overjoyed at being reunited two weeks ago. If there's been a tumble away since there can't be much to getting back to where you were! She admonished herself inwardly.
The new ready quarters were larger than the old. After the hull in front of the bridge was repaired the decision was made to make the forward Officer's meeting room and ready quarters into another armoured layer to further fortify the bridge. The new ready quarters were located above the bridge with a one man elevation pad so the Captain could be there at a moment's notice. There was also a private hallway that led directly to the captain's and first officer's ready quarters. That was the route she had chosen. For some reason she didn't want everyone on the bridge to know she'd gone to see him, as though she didn't want her worry to become public knowledge. From what she'd seen few people aboard ever worried about Captain Valance. She didn't know what would happen if they started.
He was in his dark long coat standing in front of the thick forward transparent bulkhead. Through the transparent wall the seemingly endless expanse of rotating grey, white and blue asteroids stretched out. The light of a white star made them glitter like they were encrusted with gemstones as they moved past.
Ayan stepped inside and let the door close. “Are you all right?” aloud the words seemed thin, her voice was that of a shy petitioner in her ears.
“I'd ask you to sit down but they haven't brought the furniture up yet. Not a priority,” he replied. His voice was different, lower, devoid of emotion. It was the sound of the wall she'd watched slowly build between them.
“I'm sorry about your old crew members. I wish I had known them.”
“Silver was a nervous pretty boy.” He let the statement hang in the air before sighing. “You would have gotten on well with the rest,” he continued in a near whisper. He sounded much older somehow, tired. “Good people, trustworthy, steady.”
Ayan watched him for a moment, catching a reflection of his face in the transparent metal for a moment. It was etched with deep worry. Slowly she crossed the broad room and leaned against the hull beside him. Seeing him that way at least gave her an idea of what was going on, of how to approach him. “Talk to me Jake, what's going on?” she asked as his expression started to harden, the wall was going up again.
“It's over. I can't keep the Triton running with a crew this size, let alone finish recruiting a full crew for her. It's true; Regent Galactic has petitioned the Core World Trade Council and had my accounts frozen. It went through and my accounts may as well be empty. I have the repair cash stowed under the Samson’s reactor and that's it.”
“Oh, is that all?” Ayan couldn't help prod him. She was starting to understand what had been happening since she'd come aboard with Oz, Jason and Minh. He was keeping all his worries, all his problems to himself. Running the ship day by day wasn't difficult for him, but handling the larger issues like the direction the ship was taking were weighing him down. He needed to find a confidant, to vent, and she'd been around enough stuffy officers to know how to guide someone into investing that trust in her.
“They'll mutiny! These aren't Freeground troops or some government outfit I have running the ship, they're mercenaries!” He exploded as he turned away from her and started pacing.
“Are they? You treat them like they're mercenaries, but are they really?”
“Of course they are! Most of them have no ties, half or more come with combat training, if they don't like what's happening aboard then they'll take action.”
“I doubt it.”
“What?” Jake looked at her as though she'd just switched languages.
“They're refugees. A few of them are mercenaries, sure, but I've met most of the more questionable crew members and they're in their glory here. A lot of the crew have never lived so well. They get three meals, a safe warm place to sleep, security to help them find their way and watch over them and four days out of five they have an eight hour shift. There have been a lot of double shifts recently but you should see them Jake. They're working shoulder to shoulder knowing that this is their home. Some don't want leave, they just go virtual the moment their shift ends. I think the prevalent complaint is that you're not allowing leisure programs to run on the sim system.”
Jake burst into a short laugh and threw up his hands; “so if I give them a bunch of games they'll keep working once they realize I'm dry?”
“That's not my point. There are a lot of ways a ship like this could make money, even enough to pay a full crew. How many does it take to run this ship, anyway?”
“ Triton is fully crewed at thirty two hundred with an artificial intelligence and fifty one hundred without,” Jake filled in.
“Good! I know you've been thinking of going pirate ever since we got back from Pandem, so we go Pirate. Tell the crew it'll be a while, maybe we'll lose a few, but we won't lose many. Frankly I'm surprised. You've been out here longer, you know how to run a ship better than anyone without support.”
“Going pirate isn't as easy as it is in the holomovies. First you have to find a good mark, and in the case of this crew that means a Regent Galactic or Order of Eden ship or convoy. Maybe some corp that doesn't see you coming which usually starts with a man on the inside. Then we have to risk our necks taking whatever we can sell. Then we have to find someone with cash who wants the stuff. If we're lucky we can get signed on as a privateer, but with the bounty on my head there's no way any government in the sector will take us.”
“So, register someone else as Triton’s Captain. That might make a loophole big enough for a government to work though. Maybe we leave the sector to find someone with a grudge against Regent. I'm sure the Order of Eden has enemies, I know Regent Galactic does.”
“Like who?”
“I have no idea but I'm sure we can find someone. Between Jason's intelligence background and our new hypertransmitter I'm sure we can find someone.”
Jake turned away and shook his head.
Ayan watched him. Something had him irritated. Turning pirate was an easy step forward from their current situation and she was sure the thought had occurred to him. If anyone knew how to lead a pirate ship, even a massive carrier like the Triton, it was Jake. No, there was something else causing his frustration. She wanted to know what it was, to get him past it so she could see if there was anything beneath, anything for her. “What's wrong?” the question seemed limp and wide of the mark. She cringed at the sound.
“I just thought I could buy more time. I thought I would have been able to cash my accounts in on Pandem.”
“The banks were closed,” Ayan chuckled, she couldn't help it. “Nothing you could do.” Her eyes never left him as she leaned against the transparent bulkhead, the whirling expanse of asteroids behind her.
He sighed. “I'm glad to see you've gotten on well with the crew. They like you.”
“They're easy to get on with. Most are just happy to get some direction.”
He looked at her, she watched him. A long silence hung in the air. His expression started to harden, his back began to straighten. “We should get back to the bridge.”
Ayan stepped forward with urgency and caught his hand before he completely turned away. “What's wrong? What's really wrong? Please.”
The fearless, stoic Captain Valance had replaced the man she'd been speaking to just a moment before, the man she wished could stay just a little longer and he said; “Nothing.”
She threw his hand away and stepped back. “God! I'm just trying to understand what's happening, no, wait, sorry! What's not happening for us! I didn't expect you to carry me through the airlock then down a path of rose petals into your quarters or anything but I try to talk to you and that's just what I get;” she squared her shoulders and drew her face down into a blockish expression and said; “nothing,” in as flat and low a voice as she could manage. “All I'm asking is what's wrong and I'm starting to care less about what the answer is, as long as I get one!”
“It's you!” he burst in return.
All the fury and frustration faded from Ayan. Her face felt hot, her eyes started to well up and she fought the instant urge to cry.
“Wait, I didn't mean-”
“You said it. I'll be a faithful officer, whatever you need. I'll even do it for free,” she rushed past him and through the door before it was completely open. Ayan stopped in the hall once she heard the door close, grateful for the narrow private passage. Her vision blurred as she looked back, hoping he had come after her. The low lit hall was empty.
Compartmentalization. It was something she'd learned well during her time in the military. Regardless of how she felt, how she just wanted to find a dark, out of the way bunk and let it all out, she knew that Laura, Oz, Jason, and the rest of the crew were counting on her to be on the bridge, ready to take a position in command at a moment's notice. She took a few deep breaths, wiped away a few errant tears and shut all her emotions away before striding the rest of the way down the hall.