Stephanie woke up early the next morning in the Samson's Captain's quarters only to discover that Jake was already awake. His bed wasn't made for two, she had slept face down on top of him and when he saw her eyes were open his hand caressed up and down her back.
“Good morning,” she said as she got more comfortable.
“We still have a couple hours before the morning briefing. You should go back to sleep.”
“Morning briefing?”
“Alice and I are meeting all the senior staff members once a day again. It worked better than a once a day audio brief.”
“Smart,” was all Stephanie said. She wanted to stay there, to avoid the complications she saw coming, the decisions she'd have to make, and she didn't want to say what needed to be said. “But you're wide awake.”
Jake's hand stopped moving just south of her shoulders. “Wide awake,” came his quiet confirmation.
She sighed. It was never like her to avoid her fears. “It was a mistake.”
His hand started moving again, stroking her bare back felt more like a gesture meant to comfort than the caress of a lover. “I wish it wasn't.”
Stephanie shifted so she could put her chin down on his chest and look into his eyes. He seemed more himself somehow, looking back at her calmly, a little sadness in his gaze showed through the dim light of the compartment. “You know Ashley thought we'd get together for months after the Teralin run. Eventually I had to tell her to stow it though, couldn't have that kind of thing turning into rumour.”
“Think you'll tell her about this?”
“Probably, unless you don't want me to.”
“It's up to you, but warn me before telling Frost.”
She turned her head and put her head back down on his chest, absent mindedly tracing shapes on his arm with her index finger. “I'm not telling Frost. We'd be in for a hell of a row and then finished. He'd probably try to shoot you and leave the ship.”
“He makes you happy,” Jake asked as much as concluded.
She nodded slightly, listening to his heart beat under her ear. “I don't know how, but for the past few weeks it's been good mostly. Worth hanging onto.”
“This was a one time thing then.”
“A one time thing,” she whispered back. “Are you okay?”
“Surprised, amazed, maybe a little lost but okay? I have no idea,” Jake chuckled.
For the first time since they boarded the Triton Stephanie was glad to hear something from the new, more expressive Jake. The old one she knew from the Samson would have given her a one syllable response like; 'sure,' or 'yup,' or maybe deflect the question entirely by asking; 'are you?' She couldn't help but chuckle with him. “If it were a one nighter with anyone else and they told me it was all right if I didn't come back I might be insulted,” pressing her lips to his chest and leaving a kiss there felt like just the right thing to do before getting up and retrieving her vacsuit.
“If-” he started but stopped himself.
Stephanie looked at him, her vacsuit half pulled up.
He ran his hands down his face and sat up, reaching for his own clothing.
“What?” she asked as she pushed one arm into the shoulder of her uniform.
“Nothing.”
“No, really. What were you going to say?” Stephanie pressed.
“Let's keep this simple for now.”
“But you don't want them simple.”
“No, I think it's a one time thing, like you said.”
“But you said if, and that doesn't sound like a one time thing, it sounds like a many time thing, or a big thing.”
Jake put his hand over his eyes and sighed; “Can we rewind and keep it simple?”
Stephanie brought the opening together with her fingers just above the waist of her vacsuit and ran them up to her collar in one swift, abrupt motion. The seam came together and disappeared. “Don't worry, things are simple,” she spat as she snatched her long coat from the floor, popped the sealed door open with a clang and a creak then left.