The cool wind gently urged her to make a decision. Move closer to the balcony edge or back into the apartment behind her. Standing right in the middle of the semicircular balcony didn't seem good enough, it was like a half step, almost progress.
Nevertheless, she remained there, trying not to look down, to focus on the distant horizon where a new green and brown jungle crept across the dark ground towards the growing townships around Freedom Tower. She was over twenty storeys up, and if she stepped up to the railing, looked down, she knew nothing would happen. Some hidden hand wouldn't pull her over the edge, she wouldn't lose her balance and fall over the rail, and no one would push her. None of those things mattered, rational thinking couldn't cure her of the fear that gripped her whenever she even thought of getting closer to that edge.
The breeze was nice though, feeling like she was part of the fresh planet the Freeground Nation was settling on. The cuffs of her beige drawstring pants and knee length shirt flapped as the wind picked up a little. Slitted up the sides to her waist, there was more than enough room for the air to surge up her back and chill her through the thin top she wore underneath. She enjoyed the feeling of the fresh air, such a rare thing at one time, so she stuffed her hands into the sleeves of her long hooded overshirt and crossed her arms instead of stepping inside.
Ayan. That was the only name on her official identification. It had been issued that morning, and the absence of a surname meant that the genetic typing and genealogical matching had failed to connect her with any citizen on record. Doctor Anderson had told her that was a possibility.
He had been so good to her, treated her like his own flesh and blood. The memory of her first morning came to mind again, as it had often. Waking up in bed as though she had just had a good night's sleep, the first thing she did was reach for her morning pills. When the soft lights came on she realized she wasn't waking up where she remembered going to sleep, and there was an overwhelming awareness that everything was somehow new.
It must have been hard for him to just leave her alone, to watch from another room as she sat up, realized that her body was different, the results of her sudden weight loss and the evidence of multiple organ failure just wasn't there. There were other memories that were vague, more like emotions. An overall feeling of wellness, a quiet place with melodies in the distance, a heartbeat and gentle voices just at the edge of her senses.
When she took a slow, deep breath it felt different, there was no pain, no resistance in her chest. As she sat up she realized her body was proportioned differently than she remembered. Less sleek and more curvy for the most part, and there was strength she hadn't felt since she arrived back on the First Light. There was no medication on the table, the command and control unit had been replaced with something that looked like a thinner, lighter five centimetre wide transparent bracelet and there was an open closet with loose fitting clothing.
Ayan remembered just shaking her head and closing her eyes. She was herself, but not, and then she recalled the week before, when she had allowed herself to be scanned by the highest resolution equipment in the fleet. They cloned me. She remembered realizing. The feeling was indescribable as she just sat there, trying to think her way through it. It was at the same time terrifying and amazing. Her memories told her that just days ago she had started losing her hair, but when she ran her hand over her head and down her shoulders she could see and feel golden curls down to the center of her back. It was a change, but considering how her health had begun to quickly decline it was a welcome one.
Sadness threatened to grip her as the supposition struck. I must be dead. She thought. I wonder what happened.
Ayan took the command and control unit and materialized a vacsuit onto herself, then put on the long, white hooded overshirt that would become her favourite piece of clothing.
The smile on Doctor Anderson's face as he opened the door to her bedroom was something she'd never forget. It was so warm, adoring, welcoming. “I can answer most of your questions,” he said quietly, gesturing to the room behind him. “Let's sit down.”
The apartment was naturally lit that morning, the golden sun filled the main sitting room with light through the large balcony windows. She sat down on a brown sofa and took a moment to get comfortable, even that felt different. “You're not a clone,” was the first thing he said.
Over a breakfast of fresh fruit, cranberry juice and coffee he explained everything she wanted to know. Firstly, that it had been almost six years since the scan was taken, so her memories didn't include the worst of her failing health or the growth of the Special Projects Division she had restarted with Laura or years of searching for Jonas Valent. Telling her that Jonas was just recently killed saving the Triton but there was some kind of copy of him as well was difficult. The man she had loved so deeply was gone, but according to the transmission received from Laura and overheard by Intelligence through surveillance equipment in Oz's quarters Jake Valance had his memories. Still, her grief was undeniable and there were questions about Jake that no one could answer. That, along with Freeground disallowing any attempt to contact him or the Triton frustrated her to no end. Her last meaningful memory was Laura and Jason's wedding, and that's one thing she was very thankful for.
Other questions, like her own marital status and what kind of person she had become in the missing years were addressed as well, and she was strangely proud of her accomplishments while she wished she could remember them. When she had run out of queries there was only one thing left; if she wasn't a clone, what was she?
It took a while for the answer to sink in. According to Doctor Anderson he had found a sample of genetic material from a woman named Angelica five generations back. He also obtained a copy of the oldest female human genetic sample on record. After studying them for a time, determining what kind of genetic alterations had been made, he fertilized many of her mother's eggs with material from her father's family. He halted the cell division and reverted all the genetic alterations to a natural state, a process taking months using templates developed with her ancestors material along with the older reference.
When that was finished he selected the candidate that would be most like Ayan, then resumed cell division. Ayan still couldn't believe how they advanced the ageing process; naturally. It had been done before, but never so drastically. The entire first stage laboratory was on a ship with no name, just a serial number, and when they were sure she was undergoing healthy development they entered a wormhole specially formed to accelerate the passage of time. In the space of nearly four years the Doctor and small crew experienced thirty. When they returned to Freeground their lab had been moved to Freedom Tower under Special Projects Division Classification. The original Ayan and her team didn't know it was there, no one did. Someone would have to specifically look for it, and no one other than her mother and a few select individuals knew anything about it.
The sacrifice that crew made for me is still unbelievable, she thought as she took a step closer to the railing. The strong white bars of the rail were only three meters away, and she could see a bit more of the expanding town below and decided to stay right there until she became accustomed to the view. She had a fear of heights before and took care of it in cadet training when she was a teenager. At least that's what her memories told her, but she knew that somehow the phobia had made a comeback with a vengeance since her second birth.
There were other experiments that benefited from time dilation, but she got the impression that compared to her, they were just something extra for the crew to attend to. To them thirty years passed, for everyone outside the wormhole it was only four. They aged, two of them were married as soon as they emerged, while another had written a holographic epic and interactive world that took the Freeground population by storm called The Last Blood Caller. There was time, and while the rest of the crew worked on personal projects after their daily duties were taken care of Doctor Anderson focused on her care and memory imprinting. The process was simple; as her body developed and exercised in the artificial womb a neural link with a detailed scan from Ayan Rice was formed. Through that neural link all of her memories were imprinted in real time, including all the sensations; emotional, visual, tactile and so on. It took over thirty years because imprint acceleration would cause gaps, overlapping and perhaps worse problems.
In the end she was a genetically pure human woman with the memories of Ayan Rice. There were drawbacks, to be sure, but as she faced disappointments in aptitude and skill level testing, not quite measuring up to the intellectual scores of her predecessor but scoring high compared to the general population, the sacrifice everyone had made to give her such a good start at a second chance softened the blow.
As her thoughts returned to the identification statement on her command and control bracelet the latest drawback was plain. Her ancestors had undergone such severe genetic modifications that after a full reversion she didn't even match her mother. My original mother. She reminded herself. I haven't heard from her yet. The Doctor's been here every day, made himself available any time I have questions or just want someone to talk to, but she hasn't so much as sent me a text or audio blip.
Ayan shook her head, trying to clear the irritation and unconsciously took a step forward. Her gaze went straight to the edge and vertigo threatened to overcome her senses even though she was still over two meters from the railing. She closed her eyes and tried to forget where she was, to breathe deeply and calm down. After a few minutes she opened her eyes slowly, gazing out to the horizon.
Looking down to the top of the railing her heart beat faster, she could feel sweat on her forehead, palms, forehead and upper lip as she looked lower still and just as she began to look at the tiny buildings over the edge the wind gusted lightly. “That'll do for today!” she said as she backed towards the sliding windows behind her. They parted and she walked inside, turning towards the comfort of the central room. There was a soft brown futon, a pair of round bag chairs and a low table between.
She was just on her way to the small kitchen when the door chimed. The holoprojector hidden in the low sitting room table came to life, displaying an image of Minh-Chu Buu. He was looking around the hallway outside, whistling to himself. His shoulder length black hair was new, but aside from that he was just the same as she remembered, flight jacket and all.
Her jaw dropped, she stopped mid stride and stared at the image. She was nervous, happy, excited, afraid.
“Hello?” he asked, pressing the door control again. Minh didn't seem to know he was being watched, his hands nervously ran through his long hair, bundled it up as though he was about to pull it into a ponytail then let it fall loose. “Not having a lot of luck meeting with old friends here. Or even new friends who used to be old friends,” he muttered to himself.
“One ledge after another,” she whispered to herself, straightening her overshirt and brushing a few strands of curly hair out of her face. “Come in.”
The door opened to reveal Minh-Chu, smiling uncertainly at her.
She was giddy, it felt so good to see his face, especially after just recently hearing the miraculous news of his survival. Through fear and uncertainty she gave in to joy and excitement, running across the room and leaping into him.
He had to take a step back to steady himself but he embraced her tightly, laughing. “You remember me!”
“Of course I do, I couldn't believe it when Doc showed me the news about you being found adrift!”
“You should have sent me a message, reintegration treatment is boring.”
“Oh, I know, trust me,” she stepped back and led the way to the center of her sitting room, plopping herself down into one of the bag chairs.
Minh looked at the other one for a moment before shrugging and doing the same. “I wish you could have seen my face when they finally told me that the Doc had brought you back. That was one of the last things they told me before the end of my controlled treatment. They wanted to make sure that all this news; Jason and Oz stealing a ship and leaving, Jonas and you dying, and Doc making a new you, sunk in without my brain popping,” her smile faded at the mention of Jonas' death, and he calmed down. “Sorry, I don't handle grief or delicate topics well, but I'm still not crazy enough to keep under constant supervision.” He crossed his eyes and started to stuff a hand full of hair into his mouth.
She couldn't help but burst out laughing. “If only they could see you now,” she said finally. “You're the picture of crazy.”
He pulled the locks of hair our of his mouth and bowed in his seat. “Why thank you.”
Ayan stood and went to the kitchen. “Coffee?” she offered.
“Oh, yes please. I haven't had good coffee in years.”
“I'm sorry I didn't send you a message when I heard. I just didn't know what to expect.”
“Well, you look different, but still like you. You still sound mostly like you too, with the right accent, so it must be you,” he shrugged with a smile. “I understand. Besides, I was busy learning how to be with people again. I swear, if I have to listen to someone tell me how I'm feeling ever again…” He made a strangling motion with his hands and finished it by miming several slaps across his imaginary victim's face.
Ayan chuckled as she poured two cups of steaming coffee from a coffee press. “So it was just a bunch of psycho analysts and therapists? Oh, sugar and cream?”
“I'll try mine black, and where'd you get the beans?”
“They grow them here, it's almost more efficient to eat the cultivated food instead of materialized stuff now. A couple more weeks they say.”
“Wow, I come back and I barely recognize this end of space,” he accepted a steaming hot mug from Ayan carefully and smelled it. “Oh, that's the stuff.”
“It's a little hot. Have you seen your sisters?”
“They took turns being around to help me reintegrate. I was glad they were there, but little Minh-Fu did more for me than any touch or socializing exercise. That little guy is four times as hyper as me at that age. I'd pay real credits to see him in a zero gravity bouncing room.”
“He's one of your nephews?”
“One of four nieces and nephews. It took them five days to tell me they sold the restaurant.”
“They didn't.”
“Just last year. In fact, they're leaving for a Lorander world with Oz's family. It's like all the sisters got together when I disappeared, they're all great friends now.”
“I remember some of that. Laura and Jason's wedding was pretty amazing, babies everywhere.”
“Ha! Now that's a mixed blessing. I'm happy I missed the diapers, but sad to miss the cuteness.”
“Only one of your sisters was pregnant then, and she was constantly asking Julie questions.”
“Julie?”
“Oz's eldest sister.”
“Ah, well, they'll all be leaving soon. They kept asking if I wanted them to stay, but I told them to go on. Oh, and by the way, one of Jason's friends from Intelligence paid me a visit last night after I got to my temporary quarters,” he blew on his coffee and tried a sip, recoiling as he nearly burned his lip. “Needs sugar, and to not be so hot,” he said to himself as he put it down on the coffee table and started to get up.
“Did you know him?”
“The Intelligence guy? No, but he thought it was important I find out that Vindyne made a copy of Jonas using framework technology. Freeground has known about it for years. They even have footage of some woman stealing his pod. With Jason and Oz gone the information is more freely available, I guess so more people know what they might be after. I wasn't supposed to see anything he had for me, but Jason's buddy owed him big and thought I should get some details about what was going on.”
Ayan's jaw dropped. “So that's how it happened,” she said quietly. “He's in command of the Triton now.”
Minh finished standing and just looked at her as though he didn't comprehend what she had just said. “Huh? Wheeler's ship? How'd that happen?”
“I don't know, no one out here does. Doctor Anderson showed me a copy of Laura's message to Jason. She laid out all the bare facts, including Jake having some of Jonas' memories.”
He grinned and brought his coffee back to the small kitchen to add some sugar. “We'll have to go find them.”
She turned in her seat and looked at him. “You're not serious.”
“I still have the Gull, and with part of my share of the restaurant sale I'm going to fix it up.”
“But that's a hyperdrive ship, it would take a month, maybe more to get there. We don't even know the Triton's exact location, not even Doc Anderson could get that information. Even if we had it they would probably have to move on before we got there.”
“A ship that big has to be easy enough to find. Besides, from the declassified videos I saw of Jake last night it looks like he stands out.”
She thought back to the speech and few bounty hunting videos she had seen of him. It was true, he did stand out, and even though the man she saw in those holographic recordings seemed so different, there were hints of the Jonas she knew. Ayan shook her head. “The Triton is so much faster, it would have to stay in one place long enough for us to find out where it was, then long enough for us to catch up.”
“Why don't you use your connections to send a high priority message? Then we can start heading in their direction and receive their reply on the Gull,” Minh said simply before testing the temperature of his coffee again.
His suggestion made perfect sense, but there was so much she didn't know, and the uncertainty was a difficult barrier to cross. “I don't have any connections. I don't even have a surname anymore. It's nice that they'll let me select one if I want to, but for all intents and purposes I won't know my status until the council rules tomorrow.”
“Status?” Minh asked as he put his mug back down on the coffee table and dropped back into a bag chair.
“I applied to reenlist and have my rank restored. That just added to my Citizenship and security level assessment, which started before I woke up for the first time.”
“So you want to be in the military?”
“I don't know. I thought I did, but then I started reading about the accomplishments I made after my memories end. It sounds like I've done everything I wanted to already except for finding Jonas. Now there's something walking around with his memories and everyone else is either with him or on their way.” She hadn't thought of it in simple terms until then. She knew Laura was on the Triton, that Oz and Jason were on their way after abandoning their posts, or at least that's where they'd most likely be going. Hearing it out loud changed everything; “Either with him or on their way,” she repeated quietly.
“You see? The stream is flowing; its waters beckon all those along its banks,” he said with a smile.
“I couldn't have said it better.”
“I had a lot of time,” he added before slurping his coffee. “Wow, you have to pack some of that.”
She nodded and smiled back at him. “Nothings for sure, I have to see what the council's ruling is tomorrow. If we can send a message out to them then we might be able to find out what's going on without leaving, or even help them from here.”
“I'll wait to find out what happens, but I'm going. I don't like how Freeground has changed. My discharge was waiting for me when I arrived, I can't even volunteer as a reserve pilot.”
“Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.”
“Well, they won't stop me from leaving, I think that's what they'd like anyway. I don't have a restaurant, my sisters are settling elsewhere and I have a ship. Now I just want to see my old friends and be useful, maybe find a fighter and fly for Jonas again, even if his name has changed and he seems a little taller.”
Ayan smiled at him and nodded. “We'll see what the council says tomorrow.”
“I'll wait,” Minh grinned. His expression became a little more serious after a moment and his attention wandered to her futon. “I'm wondering,” he started quietly. “Would you mind if I stayed for the night? On your sofa, I mean.”
He looked more vulnerable in that moment than in the short time she'd known him on the First Light. The affects of being alone for so long were obvious to her for the first time. “It's a futon,” she smiled. “You can stay.”