Remo hesitated. Before he could reverse himself the screechy voice, sounding very close now, called, "Geno! Oh, Geno!"
Remo groaned like a wounded bear. He had no place to run now.
Chapter 6
"Harm not ye hand of glory," warned Delpha Rohmer, as she emerged from the shadows, her pale hands making weaving patterns in the air before her. The spidery hem of her long black gown swept the dirty concrete, quickly turning gray with urban grime.
"Glory hand?" Remo asked, one eye on the alley mouth.
"It is potent magic. It will dispel any visitant from the nether realms."
Remo brightened. "Does it work on anchorwomen?" he asked.
"I do not understand."
Cheeta Ching picked that exact moment to burst into the alley, huffing as if from a hard run.
"Guido!"
"Not even close," Remo said.
Cheeta showed her teeth in a smug grin. "I have something to tell you," she said.
"Go ahead."
"I'm pregnant."
"I know. It's on the cover of every magazine in sight."
"And you're not the father."
"Louder. I want there to be no doubt."
"But you could have been," Cheeta said quickly. "You could have been the father to the most famous baby to be born in the nineties. Mine."
"I stand chastised," Remo said sourly. "My life in ruins."
"Good. I wanted you to understand the golden opportunity you lost when you spurned me."
At that point, Cheeta's predatory eye fell on the shadowy figure of Delpha Rohmer.
"Who is this?" she demanded.
Remo decided to go with the flow. "Cheeta, meet Delpha. Delpha, meet Cheeta. Delpha's a witch. Cheeta just rhymes."
Both women looked blank.
"What?"
"What?"
"Never mind," Remo sighed. "I don't suppose you've seen hide nor hair of Chiun?" he asked Cheeta.
"You mean the man responsible for the glorious fulfillment of my womb?" Cheeta returned.
Remo's eyes went wide. On his last assignment, the Master of Sinanju had achieved a long-held ambition: to meet the Korean anchor. Chiun had been carrying a torch for her since he had first beheld her barracuda face on TV. He had had visions of fulfilling the childless anchorwoman and siring Remo's successor in Sinanju with one stroke. But Cheeta had instead fallen for Remo. Remo, for his part, would rather have eaten sand.
By the time it had all been straightened out, Cheeta and the Master of Sinanju had gone off together. Chiun had returned home silent but contented. Cheeta had returned to the airwaves with news of her ovulatory breakthrough.
Still, Remo refused to believe it. Now he could only sputter, "You mean Chiun is the father?"
"I didn't say that," Cheeta said tartly. "I'm a married woman. In fact, I categorically deny that my husband isn't the father."
"Please, please," Delpha implored. "You're disturbing the spell. The atmosphere of power must not be dispelled by negativity."
"Spell?" asked Cheeta.
"I told you, Delpha's a witch," Remo said. "She's trying to un-hex the Rumpp Tower."
Cheeta Ching walked up to the smoldering hand of glory.
"Is that real? I mean, a real hand?"
"Sure," Remo said brightly. "In fact, it's probably good enough to eat."
"I resent the implication that I'm a cannibal!" Cheeta flared. "I'm a mother-to-be!" Her bloodred nails flashed and curled before her.
Remo backed away. "Hey, it was just a suggestion." He snapped his fingers loudly. "I know! Now that you two have been introduced, why don't you do an interview? Together. Leave me out of it. I'll find Chiun on my own hook."
A cold voice directly behind Remo said, "Look no further, late one."
Remo whirled.
Chiun, Reigning Master of Sinanju, stood in the alley mouth, his face severe, his long-nailed hands obscured by his joined sleeves.
"There you are," said Remo, relief in his voice.
"You are late," Chiun sniffed, drawing himself to his full height.
"Blame it on the disintegrating infrastructure."
"Grandfather!" Cheeta cried, rushing up to the Master of Sinanju.
Chiun's face stiffened. He froze, as if uncertain how to react.
Then, before Remo's astonished eyes, Cheeta Ching, self-styled supreme anchorwoman in the known universe, bowed before him. Twice.